Are you feeling shamed to ride?

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. There's a lot of shaming in the world. Have you noticed that? Body shaming, personality shaming, and even, believe it or not, shame for people who own horses but don't ride them. 

"I know, right?"

Let me be another voice for those out there who feel shamed about not riding. It's okay. In fact, most horses prefer it! Here's what a horse needs: Food, water, shelter, hoof and health care, social interactions, and positive experiences. Can you offer those things without riding? Absolutely! 

Who cares if someone thinks you should ride and you don't feel up to it! Don't let your horse down by not interacting just because you can't or don't want to ride. Get out there and just "be" with your horse. Enjoy nature for heaven's sake. 

So accept your feelings a bit, accept your position, accept your experience, and don't hate on yourself for not living up to someone else's idea of what you're supposed to be or do. 

Just one little caveat on the word "accept." I feel like people often think that if you accept the way things are now, you are resigning to that new norm and you'll never again be able to do things you used to be able to do. But the truth is, accepting something means giving yourself some grace, not giving up on your dreams! If you want to ride, believe it will happen again for you, but don't pressure yourself. Just breathe, think positively about yourself and your current experiences and slowly move in the direction you want to go. It's the same for your horse. If she's struggling to get something, relax a little. It will come.

I've helped many people recover (including myself) from setbacks. In the beginning it feels like you'll never have what you had. But you have to shake loose of those feelings and just accept what is. "It is what it is, right?" Gotta thank my friend Patty for that phrase! Then... look at where you want to go and take one small step toward it. Don't focus on what you've lost or you'll go crazy. Focus on your footwork. Take a step, breathe, reward yourself, then take another step. It won't be long before your acceptance turns to progress and pride of accomplishment. 

In short, don't give up on what you want, but also give yourself enormous doses of grace, every single day! Grace is that acceptance of things you didn't plan for. Give yourself that gift. Trust me, it will pay off in big ways.

Thanks for reading and please comment below and share with your friends.

Don Jessop

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