Natural doesn't always mean nice - by Don Jessop
Natural horsemanship gets a bad rap and if you want to know why, I've already written an article about it "The Reason Performance Riders Hate Natural Horsemanship." But I'm compelled to write again.
I've met many colleagues and students who fell for the same trap I did when I started in the natural horsemanship industry more than twenty years ago. The trap... believing that you can crouch in a field and smell like a carrot and your horse will connect his spirit with yours and you'll communicate via the magic of telepathy for the rest of your happily ever after. Said differently, it's the belief that if you just get good enough, your horse won't question you anymore, he or she will just be and do whatever you need, cause he trusts you and you have a special bond.
This trap is real. I fell for it when I bought my first course. I saw how elegant and sophisticated the professionals presenting were. I dreamed of doing that myself. The overarching theme was "love, language, and leadership." And I believed, whether or not it was truly presented that way, that the bond and trust were the keys to success. When in reality, they were just bonuses for the horse.
What do I mean? Thousands of horse professionals, for thousands of years now, have been forcing their horses to successful status without the bond or any kind of trust, just shear compliance training. Which means, put bluntly, you don't need the bond or trust to be successful. Unless... you view achievement without trust, not actually being successful. I see it that way. I hate seeing a horse comply but still hate their life.
But let me be clear. Perhaps clearer than I've ever been. The bond and trust DO NOT lead to higher levels of achievement. Only dedicated practice and firm, clear boundaries set persistently lead to high achievement. With practice those corrections that seem obvious in the beginning become very elegant, almost hidden, but don't fool yourself like I did. The corrections are still there. There is no telepathy going on between horse and rider. It's all training. There is obviously communication happening through body cues and voice cues and such, but those subtle signals are also made through repetitive training. The trainers that add in bonding... have happier horses, there is no doubt about that. It's a great bonus for sure, one worth pursuing, but don't get confused.
The truth is this, master horse trainers are masters because they've seen it all, they've tried it all. They know what the horse is apt to do and preemptively guide a different result in their favor. That's not magic, that's practice. It takes years to be that good. Sometimes people get sold on the magic of being that good and think it's a technique, or a feel born of this natural bond between horse and human. It's not! It's practice. That doesn't diminish the value of bond and trust exercises with your horse. In my opinion they are a must. Without them, you are just another abusive horse owner. In my book "Leadership and Horses" I share the 50/50 rule I live by. 50% bonding/50%training. Not enough bonding, you may still taste success, but your horse hates it. Not enough training, and you'll never get outside the trot and outside the arena walls. It takes both dedicated training and bonding to truly become great.
The whole point here is this. Setting boundaries, establishing a clear training path, being a real coach to a great athlete, or parent to a great kid, requires discipline and focus. "Being nice" isn't always an option. It would be super if it was, but reality creates situations where being firm and clear is more important than being nice. A great trainer knows this and will risk the relationship with the horse to get the result, knowing they will be able to go back and get the relationship back in the bonding and trust exercises. Every great coach knows this. Every great parent knows this.
What we must do is look to the greats, not for how elegant and refined they can be, although that is pretty, but for how dedicated and willing they are to explore the full spectrum of leadership.
I'll end with this. It's nice to be nice... just don't expect anything grand to ever happen. If you want more, you'll have to discover a leader in you that's willing to create plans, set boundaries, be disciplined. Since you're already probably very nice, you can allow that part to flow more naturally and put your energy into the rest.
Thanks for reading! I look forward to your comments.
PS. Natural horse training masters aren't always nice, they just get really, really good at sugar coating the firmness. So good, you might not even notice it when it happens. Keep a keen eye. Just because a person is kind and rewarding, it doesn't mean they aren't firm. I can literally demonstrate that for you. I can show you how I get results while being kind, not by being kind, but while being kind.
Don't fall for the magic tricks. Instead, make a new kind of magic. For me, when I finally realized the truth that is wasn't some "nirvana state of awareness" that leads to success, I began making the journey to better my techniques, feel, timing, style, and emotional control, my new magic. The journey became the magic. The journey to help a horse trust the process became the magic. The smile on a students face as the horse began to understand a cue, became the magic. The magic is still there. It's just the kind of magic we can all experience and learn. You don't have to be gifted or special, or part horse. You just have to be willing to open your eyes to what it really takes and decide if you're up for the challenge!
Be sure to comment. I truly love hearing from you!
10 Responses
Edi
Good post, “I hate seeing a horse comply but still hate their life.” – this speaks to me and is basically my motto. I do want my horses to enjoy what we do (which sometimes means that we do things that I don’t like, if my horse enjoy it), because guess what – they don’t have a choice. Horses are stuck with their owners or trainers, forced to do what people want. And of course it might not look like they are forced, but they are. Because if they had a choice they would be roaming free, grazing all day. We all know that, just like we know that this isn’t really an option for them in current state of civilization.
But, going back to natural horsemanship – you need to convince your horse to trust you as a leader (or better as a mentor) and you won’t archive it by just being nice and bringing carrots. Especially in early stages of liberty training. You should do it kindly, without any abuse, but it may not look “nice” to outside viewer. Horses aren’t nice, they are not delicate while establishing relations, but they are sensitive. Building connection with a horse is beautiful and communication based on slightest gesture or a blink of an eye feels magical and looks magical. But it is a hard work and sometimes very long training.
I totally second that “being firm and clear is more important that being nice”, I would just add that never ever being frustrated with a horse is equally important.
Claire Barker
That is astute! My friends and I often comment that great trainers are amazing because they are so practiced at picking up the horses body language and responding appropriately, releasing consistently and asking the “first step first”. As a “backyard” horse owner-I depend a lot on the bond-though I am consistent and fair-it is always the growing bond and new things to try that just turn my crank. I’m not a competitor-but I love a soft, responsive, alert, handy partner full of try. I’ve been lucky enough in my life to have three-but it takes a bit of time!
Patty
Thank you for this. This is a great reminder to me as I know this, you have taught me this, but I also need to remember this about MYSELF as well. I need to step out of my comfort zone and be FIRM with myself!!
Thank You Patty 🥰
Robert W Duncan
Read both of your essays and enjoyed them. I can see you have a broad grasp horsemanship issues. I had to laugh at the references to “wimpiness”and natural horsemanship endorsers. I’m sure you know that anyone who follows the trail from the Dorrances to Ray Hunt and Parelli know that “Firm but Fair” is built into the qualities of leadership. Anyone you see being truly wimpy apparently missed a core principle of the program. I might add “Reward the Slightest Try” as the key to success. Thanks for the read. I’ll be following you!
Tiffany Wallace
Thank you for your wise words! I’m working very hard to be the leader the horse needs. It’s motivating to read about the balance between kind and firm to achieve master status!
Tiffany Wallace
Thank you for your wise words! I’m working very hard to be the leader the horse needs. It’s motivating to read about the balance between kind and firm to achieve master status!
Tina Atkins
Wow! and Wow! This is your best article yet- and that’s saying something!
This is the universe taking care of me that I would read this from you today….another method that is primarily bonding asked me to be an instructor and I’ve been teetering on what I know about ( and still don’t know) about the bonding/ training dynamic. So much mis and disinformation out there to wade through….
So! THANK YOU ❤️
Tracey
I certainly fell for it and I love your book because YOU EXPLAIN IT….
Elaine R Schultz
Just when I think I’ve read the best ever article by you……you top it! Thank-you beyond words.
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Todd
August 05, 2022
Spot on. Killing them with kindness is rampant in NH and much of the bad rap is well deserved. Having taught some version of this for over 20 years, I find a stark difference in my pre-natural days vs. Natural. Pre-natural I was always bringing emotion driven, aggressive owners back from the brink of abuse, whether it be blatant violence, or the bigger bit, whip, spur trap. Since going “natural” it’s been almost a non-stop battle to help an owner find some firmness and watching very unhappy horses dominating a relationship that they wish were the other way around. The fact is we attract droves of people that want the horse fantasy they grew up watching in movies and animated tv, but they couldn’t ever bear to be bold or strong or defend their own space. They just want to love them into submission. Unfortunately by the time they get to me, it’s often become dangerous and then I have to get way, way bigger with that horse than ever should have been necessary. — Horses will force every single one of us to develop our weak side. The heavy hitter rough guy or gal will have to learn patience and emotional control, but just as much, the gentle heart that could stroke a mane all day long will need to find their firm side.