Mastery Horsemanship Blog

When you walk out your door, walk down the barn aisle or walk through the gait to your horse's paddock, they should notice you. If they don't bother to look up, you're not in trouble yet, but you could be.

I didn't make this up, but I love it...

Recently I interviewed a mentor of mine named Linda Parelli. Years ago, I worked directly with her and then gradually found my own path but the knowledge and experienced gained in that time shaped a lot of my teaching style. 

Today she's still out there, impacting the world of horses and their wonderful owners. I'm grateful for her enthusiasm and energy for the industry. In the interview she gave me another gift to share with you today. 

Lean in and listen closely, it could completely change the way you think about your experience with your horse today, and tomorrow too!

Here it is. There are three types of experiences we have with horses. Learning, practicing, and performing. It's important to know which mode you're in. Learning is hard, practicing is boring, and performing is pressure. Don't mistake which mode you're supposed to be in and watch all the drama fade away.

Learning mode: 

Learning is hard. It's supposed to be, it's normal that way. It's natural. No one ever said it would be easy. But it's not pressure. If you feel like you're under the gun while learning, it's because you've shifted into a performance mindset, trying to be perfect. Learning is NEVER perfect. It's ugly. It's hard, it's funny, silly, weird, and absolutely vulnerable. I watch some students enter my clinics with a "show my instructor how good I am," mindset and struggle for the first day. Their horse doesn't perform as well as they hoped. They put so much pressure on  themselves to be good that they fail to learn what is being taught. It can all be avoided if they'd allow themselves to shift back to a learning mindset.

Practicing mode: 

Practicing, or polishing, what you've learned is boring. It's supposed to be. Most people don't practice what they learn because they feel like it shouldn't be boring. It should be fun. But the hard truth is, it can be fun, but usually isn't. Practicing means repetition. With enough rewards, it's more fun, but it's still repetition. It's still drilling and polishing, and cycling through one task over and over until it's cleaner, smarter, better, safer, etc. Practicing is extremely important. Without it, you never really grow with your horse. You might gain head knowledge going to clinic after clinic but won't get any closer toward your dreams of lying a horse down, or riding on the beach, or experiencing tempi lead changes and piaffe. You'll flounder in the basics forever, until you begin to value, good old fashion practice.

Performing mode:

Performing is pressure. It's when everything you've practiced is ready for presentation. Don't try to perform in a learning environment. Don't try to perform in a practicing environment. Leave it for the big day. Do your best and when it's over, record where the holes in your practice are so you can go back tomorrow and practice them some more. Celebrate the good stuff. All of these stages should include an enthusiastic outlook, full of optimism, and creativity, and rewards for both you and your horse. Allow yourself to feel the pressure of performing without breaking down. It can be fun, but it can be daunting too. People who perform often get used to the feeling of performance. You can too. But remember, if you don't feel the pressure anymore, you may be missing the heart of the performance, which is giving your best. Your absolute best. Pour your heart out! It should feel like pressure in some way or another.

Now... when you're thinking of signing up for the next clinic. DON'T think how everyone will laugh at how little you've practiced. You're not in performance mode. You're in learning mode. Think about how you're okay being vulnerable, you're allowing knowledge in, not showing off. Ironically, everyone loves students, especially open minded students who are willing to share their weaknesses in order to learn. Feel free to be a student. 

When you're in practice mode, and your mind wants to wander, and you wonder if you're doing it wrong because it feels slow, or you think maybe your horse is going to hate you because he's frustrated with the reps. Relax, it's meant to be boring. Embrace it. Reward often and keep polishing that stone till it shines.

When you're in performance mode, shine your brightest, knowing, there is no real failure, just opportunity. You only fail if you don't try. So, keep trying. If you find yourself being hyper criticized by the judges, that's normal. It's part of the game. Hopefully, you find arena's that are not too critical. But don't let the criticism define who you are. It's just feedback. If I told you today, you're not ready for tempi lead changes, it's just feedback. If you take offense to that and crawl into a hole to avoid feedback, you'll miss one of life's biggest gifts.

So, take advantage of every stage. See the value and label the mode you're currently in. I guarantee it will change the way you experience today and tomorrow with your horse. 

Thanks for reading. Shout out to old mentors and saddle off and ride!

Don Jessop 

On the road to mastery, there are a couple of interesting tools you pick up along the way. One of those tools is the option to enhance your ability to remember details simply by writing them down. 

If you hear something good. Write it down. If you don't write it down your ability to recall it later is dramatically reduced. 

Do you have no motivation to be with your horse, or to play, or to ride?

Watch this video below where I discussed with a student about how to make more positive associations with your horse.

I look forward to hearing how you make positive associations with your horse. You can use your favorite treat as a positive neuro association to "want" to do it more.

It's easy to focus on negative thoughts like, "I don't have time." We call that complaining. Whether it's real or not, it's complaining. Try instead to drop the negative thinking. With practice it becomes very easy to stop it. And by stopping negative thinking you replace it for neutral and positive thinking. 

Creating positive associations to being with your horse is very important. And way easier than we ever thought. Add a treat, practice positive thoughts, do less and end on a happy note. Don't try to accomplish things. Instead, be there to "enjoy" things. And if it doesn't sound fun... make it fun.

If you would like more ideas. Get a free strategy session and learn more about how to get yourself back in the saddle. 

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Why is it that, sometimes, your older horse is still acting like he or she is just three years old?

We can all imagine a three-year-old horse bouncing about the field using up his growth hormone energy, but it's often hard to imagine a thirteen-year-old, or twenty-three-year-old horse bouncing about in the same manner. Especially, when we are riding, and they are "supposed" to be calm and willing.

So, what gives? What's the deal?

Don't kick me out of the house for saying it, but here's the cold, hard facts. "A horse is a horse, of course of course!"

Who taught us that a horse will ever grow out of kicking up their heels or spooking at an object on the trail? I don't teach that to my students, but I was taught that by my trainers when I was young. But it's folly. Horses will always act like horses until they are trained to act like partners.

It's probably obvious to you that, mathematically, your older horse is doing less of the rambunctious behavior than when he was young. Regardless, it's still there, and that behavior comes out at inopportune times. So, what do you do about it?

First things first... stop believing it should be different because of age. Age does not determine a horse's skill and concentration as a partner. Many behavioral scientists agree that a horse never matures their concentration levels past that of a four-year-old human child. I tend to agree myself. Regardless of the amount of training I put in, my horse is still a horse. He becomes easier to manage. He focuses for longer periods of time, but he is still spookable and easy enough to rouse. Just watch him as he gets turned out in a new pasture. Watch him kick up his heels and buck. It's natural. 

The frustration we face with older horses, is a two part frustration. First, we believe they shouldn't act that way anymore. It's cute when they are little but not when they are supposed to be rideable. That's a massive assumption we need to fix. The second part is, we believe they are "trained," and shouldn't act that way anymore. Here's where it gets sticky. "Trained," means something different to everyone. You might call your horse trained because you spend three thousand dollars with a trainer when he was five. But I wouldn't call that trained. I would call that the beginning of training, and from experience, it won't last as long as you hope. So, to avoid the frustrations, we have to manage our expectations.

The cold hard fact is that if your horse is acting up at inopportune times it's because he doesn't have the knowledge or desire to behave according to your plans. Makes sense right?

So, what do you do about it? Drugs? Isolation? Stop riding? Give up? Hire a trainer to fix him? Or... learn what it takes to be a leader and train him yourself?

I always recommend that last one because, honestly, the time you spend with a horse with your own education is gold. Give that horse to a trainer and let him do the hard work and discover, you may have a nicer trail ride but you missed out on the special bond between leader, partner, and friend.

Time isn't a factor for me. I'm often asked how long it takes to "train" a horse. You can probably guess my answer. It depends on what "train" means. Who's doing the training, and what type of horse it is. What kind of learning ability or disability does that horse have? What kind of knowledge and confidence does the trainer have? But usually... when I'm asked that question. I respond with, "Are you in a hurry?"

There's no need to rush the beautiful journey of humans and horses growing together. Invest in your education, invest in yourself, and by default, invest in your horse. Without any doubt, you will be giving yourself and your horse a boost toward a wonderful, safe, partnership full of awesome, controlled, and confident experiences. 

If you have a horse that's 13 going on 3, just remember two things. One, you're not alone, most of us have that same horse. And two, you're capable of guiding your horse to become the partner you hope to have on the trail. 

Thanks for reading and please check out our resources.

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Have you ever heard of beginner's luck? Well, when it comes to horses it's actually real. And here's why...

When you meet a new horse for the first time. (Usually, not always.) Something happens to the horse, something called stage fright. When horse's experience something new they often freeze a little which gives a false impression of calmness. This misinterpreted experience is one of several reasons some riders claim their horse used to be good but can't figure out why they're not anymore. 

Here's a fun poem I wrote to illustrate this phenomenon. "Day 1, day 2, we can do. Day 3, day 4, not anymore!"

Good trainers know you have to persist past the early novelty days of having a new horse, through the valleys of reality and back to a normal, safe place for everyone.

Here are a few other reasons horses can go from good to bad:

• Physical lameness
• Poor saddle fitting or bit fitting
• Separation from friends
• Change in temperature or seasonal changes 
• New stimulus inside their environment, such as a new horse, or construction project, or fence line
• Change in body chemistry such as breeding cycles or associated nutritional factors

Good horses are not impossible to find, train, and enjoy. But even the best horses can become challenging for one reason or another. Good horse people are hyper aware of the potential pitfalls and address them line by line in order to optimize their horse's experience in our human world. 

If you're struggling with a "Jackal and Hyde" type horse, one that's good one day and bad the next, reach out. Your first appointment is absolutely free. We are here to serve. 

Thanks for reading. 

Here's to your success!

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To play is to win. Not playing at all is the only way ever you lose.

Failure... is giving up. Not succeeding at the task is not the same as failure.

People often confuse not succeeding with failure. The truth is, I often don't accomplish my goals with my horse on a day to day timeline. I might overshoot and miss the mark by a longshot. In other words, I might ask my horse to do something he's not ready for and find myself backing away from my goals that day to something easier. That is NOT called failure! 

Failure is refusing and rejecting the plentiful opportunities to try again tomorrow. 

Here's something interesting about me... I'm extremely competitive. I love seeing my score on the board top the score of my opponent. It's exhilarating to feel like you conquered something. It's built right into our DNA, for many of us. So why do I also feel bad when my opponent loses? Because I empathize with the experience of someone who missed the mark.

I've been told my empathy is a weakness of mine. "Destroy the enemy without remorse," is a common theme for many people. On the other hand, graceful people, compassionate leaders, they all feel what I'm describing. They readily except to win and prepare to win, yet willingly share the spoils and praise to their opponent to ensure the game never stops. Because the game is the experience we seek, not the end result. I want people who have a lesser score to still feel like playing the game, is what it's all about. Because a sore loser is ultimately going to quit playing. And when you quit playing you fail. 

What I'm saying is this. Just because you lose a game, or don't reach an outcome, doesn't mean you lose a lifetime of enjoyment and pursuit of greatness and a bank full of awesome memories. Just because you have a bad day, doesn't mean you lose everything you've worked for, and you should quit. Losing, is temporary. Playing is permanent. 

On a deeper, harder, more heart wrenching note, I have two horses at the end of their life. I could focus on the loss or focus on the amount of joy and pleasure and progress and opportunity they both created in my life. So even when I lose them, I feel lucky, like I've won a lifetime of joy with them while they were here. 

It feels permanent to lose someone or something you love. Ironically. Losing them doesn't mean losing everything. There is still so much love and vitality in the world around me. Plus, I believe there is more, beyond this life, so I believe, even if it "feels" permanent, it's not. Loss is temporary. Playing the game is a choice I can make every day. All of this means... you never really lose. And if you never lose... Then you always win!

Perception can be bent in many ways. I prefer to bend perception to my advantage. When I have a bad day, it's just a temporary setback. When I have a bad year, it's just a temporary setback. "Keep on swimming," says Dori (Finding Nemo). Life is AWESOME! Don't quit. Don't quit on your goals. Don't quit on your horse. Don't quit on your dreams! And when you lose, remember it's just temporary. You never really lose because you have tomorrow. So, try hard today. Succeed or don't succeed. Then try hard again tomorrow. Don't worry if you don't succeed. Don't stack up the reasons not to try again tomorrow. Just go with it. You got this!

Thanks for reading!

Don

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I encourage you to stop leaning on old, outdated teachings and take a deeper dive in to the technicalities of good horsemanship. Regarding stirrup length, there is a logical and natural place for your leg to hang off your horse's side. Except in extreme sports, it's not natural to pin your legs up so high you lose circulation and it's also not natural to hang them so low you lose contact with the stirrup as the horse speeds up or missteps. 

The most common placement for a stirrup is for the pad of the stirrup (where your foot rests) to lay exactly at the bottom of your ankle bone when your foot is not in the stirrup. Try it. Top of the pad matches the bottom of your ankle bone.

That perfect length allows for your leg to sit naturally against the saddle with just enough weight on the pad to keep the stirrup at all speeds, including fast canter work, and also not too much weight in the stirrup to cause a lack of blood flow to your lower leg. To get your foot in the stirrup, you'll have to lift your toes ever so slightly and allow your heels to hang lower.

What about jumping? What about racing? What about western riding? Where should your stirrups be then?

Jumping is simple. From zero inches to about twenty-four inches of height from the ground, your stirrup length can remain at that natural comfortable place. As the jumps come up, your stirrups can come up too. It's nice to have the ability to get off the horses back for the extreme sports. Ironically, you can actually do extreme sports bareback, but it's often easier for the rider and horse in a saddle. Anything under twenty four inches is not considered "extreme." There are style coaches and judges that dictate form and beauty in a rider's position for a show, but rest assured, most of that is traditional, not specifically important. Feel free to be more natural for yourself and your horse.

Western riders often want their stirrups too low which makes it very difficult to post the trot without bouncing on the horse's back. It can be nice to sit back and gallop with your feet sticking out the front of your horse. I've done it. It's not uncomfortable. In fact, it's more comfortable. But only for me. The horse suffers from poor, un-athletic, riding styles that bounce against the natural movements instinctive to the horse. I usually encourage my western riders to find the right, natural length and stick to that. Better for you and the horse in the long run. Plus, you won't be losing your stirrups at every misstep.

Racing riders, at least, flat-track riders, prefer extremely short stirrups. I've breezed thoroughbreds on the track saddled and bareback. The science is pretty clear the horses perform the best with a light rider standing, and not interfering in any way with the movement of the back. It takes balance and skill to ride that way. It's also an extreme sport and you'll remember extreme sports may require different styles. In the meantime, you can rest assured you don't have to be extreme. You can simply be natural. 

It's certainly not the most important topic in the world of horsemanship to talk about stirrup length. But... It's useful to encourage balance in everything we do, so with that. I wish you success in everything you choose. You won't get judgement from me, only encouragement to be the best you can for your horse and stay natural. 

See you soon!

Don

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Yes... sort of... and no.

They are wired to be hyper aware and can pick up on subtle, almost imperceptible cues from their environment, meaning they can sometimes sense what you're asking for before you feel like you're even asking. That's observable science any horse person can confirm. 

That isn't what I'd call mind reading but it's still pretty magical when you think about how tuned in one would have to be to achieve that level of awareness.

Some folks have deeper experiences with their animals. Some folks believe their horse's ability goes beyond the subtle cue reading to something more spiritual. I haven't had those experiences myself. Most professionals like, not true for everyone, haven't. Perhaps it's because we aren't open to the spiritual connection like some who focus on horses without professional goals. Perhaps it's because it's not a real thing to "read minds."

Who really knows? Some people say they know... but can only back up claims with anecdotal stories and no data. 

Here is what I believe... I think there are things happening we don't understand and can barely explain. There are stories that surprise us. Some people claim to communicate telepathically and spirituality with animals. I don't know what it is or how it works or if it's just imagined. But I believe there is more to life than meets the eye. I think it's safe to believe this and fine for others to believe something else. I don't think you have to take everything at face value and I also don't think you have to take the hook, line, and sinker. There can be some logical balance to what's evident and what's difficult to understand and observe. 

Believing your horse can read your mind can enhance your connection with them if you're smart. If you're not smart it can actually lead you to very ignorant perhaps even dangerous places. What I mean is, if you're smart about it, you can realize your horse is more sensitive than you ever imagined and you should ask for things with more subtly and elegance, respecting their ability to pick up your ideas, sometimes, even before you activate your body to cue them. 

On the flip side, if you're not smart about it, you can assume your horse knows what you want and is deliberately not doing it. Or worse you can assume they understand you and you put them in confusing and even dangerous situations because you misread their needs, thinking you're connected when you're actually not. 

To summarize, I'd say they might be able to read minds but whether they can or not, definitively, doesn't really matter. What matters is that you treat them with dignity and respect. Respect for their mind and heart and respect for their moment to moment experience without assuming you know completely what's really going on. Learn to read every situation, there is a special kind of mastery in horsemanship when you become acutely aware just like a horse. And seek balance, let go of what you know, long enough to learn and grow, then, come back to what you know with a new balance and appreciation for life, horses, and yourself. 

Thanks for reading, see you next week. 

Don

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Because love and respect are two different things that don't work on the same level.

Your horse should love and respect you. But you loving them doesn't make them respond to your suggestions. And you demanding respect, doesn't make them love you. Both these things need your attention... separately.

"I give my horse everything, why did he buck me off?"

This question is a real question, presented by a friend of mine who just got into horses. I held her heart in my hand for a minute and then said... "you're an idiot!"

JUST KIDDING! I would NEVER say that or think that. 

What I truly said was..., "its pretty common to get those things tied up. After all, if you love your horse it goes to reason they'd appreciate you, value you, and not do anything that could hurt you." In an idealistic world, that would be fantastic and true. In reality, not so much. 

Love given to a horse isn't always what people think. And respect from the horse isn't either. 

Some people think you love horses by respecting them. By not asking them to do what they don't want. Then... cross your finger, they'll appreciate you and then one day, do what you want. I know it sounds strange but it's a path of logic that can trap us sometimes.

Another trap is thinking, if they respect us and are obedient to us, they will love us. Some folks take this all the way to believing their horse actually likes them because he or she doesn't hesitate to do what's asked. Most often, when I give that same horse the choice without consequence to respond or not, the truth comes out. The horse often only responds because if they don't it's bad for them. 

It's sad but true, many people live in the fantasy that obedience is love. I've been there myself in my early career. I'm not judging those who do it now. Only trying to bring awareness to some valuable insights I've gained over the years.  

Like most things, a balance must be struck. The coin from both sides must be viewed and you have to see the back side of the coin while looking at the front. That's perspective. I once heard of a study where children under four years of age were shown a sheet of paper, red on the front side and blue on the back. When shown the red side, and asked what color was on the back side, the answer was always "red." The child could not display the concept of perception from another angle. Of course we grow out of that.  

We know that respect and love can exist on the same coin. And we know that great horse trainers see the immediate needs of a horse and address the need to build respect or to add love. We also know that great horse trainers don't assume that one always leads to the other but they are in fact part of a great balance.  

In fact, too much of one and you lose the other. I see people add too much bonding time and not enough training and end up with horses that love them but don't ever respond when asked for something and can sometimes even be dangerous. Then I see people demand respect and spend hours training only to find their horses resent them and the work they're asked to do. 

Naturally, it's a nice balance that has to be earned. Love can be earned by giving the horse what he needs and wants. Dive into horse psychology 101 and earn the depths of the inner horse. Respect can be earned through repetition and rewards and occasional firmness. Not confrontation, but simple clarity. 

Love should be given, not to be confused with taking. I know it sounds strange but picture this. Picture a woman folded over her horse's neck, hugging softly. She's had a tough day and leaning in close just feels right. Is she giving love or taking? It's possible it's both, but you'd have to read the horse. Sometimes I see the horse brace for this kind of exchange. They don't want it even though you might need it. Sometimes my daughter comes to me for a hug. I can tell if she's coming because she needs a hug or because I need a hug. I always allow both and I'm grateful for the opportunity to give and take. 

Horses can tell if you're giving or taking too. They can certainly learn to allow both but only one will actually feel like love to them. If you take too much without giving, they ironically begin to lose respect with you. You have to read them to know. Learn to read your horse in this course...

Respect should be "earned", not to be confused "demanded". I can make a horse do almost anything because I have lots of ropes and sticks and techniques and saddles and bridles, etc. But, outside of safety situations, if I demand something without giving the horse time to process and feel rewarded, I will actually lose love.

So, they are connected, respect and love, but like two sides of the same coin. Asking for respect in a loving way is best and giving love in a respectful way (one that relates to their exact current needs) is best. 

We've come full circle now. We've looked at both sides of the coin. Now, it's your turn to apply your knowledge and skill. Show your horse you love them. It's okay to take love sometimes too. Sometimes we need a break from life and our horses can offer that. Just keep it in check. And show your horse they need to be respectful. Guide them through repetition and rewards to become smarter braver calmer fitter healthier, more balanced individuals. You got this. 

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Yes, horses can have learning disabilities.

Brains, whether human or not, can be susceptible to trauma and injury which means a horse could suffer injury or traumatic experience and rewire how they see the world and how they remember things day to day. But before you determine if your horse has a learning disorder, you have to first know how horses learn under normal circumstances.

All learning is done in an upward pattern with skill developing gradually over time.

But if you zoom close to the daily experience of learning...

It looks more like this...

There are ups and downs. Lapses in growth so to speak. Recesses in progress. Rest and recovery. Lapses in concentration. Whatever you want to call it. It's not a perfect experience. 

Einstein said, "leaning is remembering." It's the ability to capture information on a mind or body level and recall and repeat it. Remembering (learning) takes practice then, it's not always a one and done experience you can expect, except under extreme pressures and circumstances. 

Knowing that allows for grace. It's not fair to expect to say something once and have your student remember it forever. 

Interestingly, it's the number of repetitions that help determine if there is a learning disability or not. Under normal circumstances, horses need four to seven training sessions on any particular subject before they can manage or recall the information more automatically and with little to no drama. It doesn't mean they are perfect. It just shows they have a beginning of an understanding. It shows they are learning.

I've seen horses learn faster and slower but the average of four to seven sessions is fairly constant. Some factors that speed it up or slow it down is the quality or teaching and the adaptability of the trainer and the tests they give to see if the knowledge is growing. Now... just to be clear... after a horse learns something new, they still need to relearn that same new thing in new environments. They are extremely susceptible to any change in sight, smell, temperature, space, etc. that even small things can make you think they've forgotten their lessons. So once again, be patient and help them get better about what they learn. Don't look at knowledge as binary (either you have it or you don't), look at it as fluid and progressive instead. 

To our original point. Some horses do struggle to remember things regardless of the quality of teaching. They do progress, but much slower and need more tender love and care along the way. I have had horses in training that were beaten in their early years for not remembering things. That trauma made learning later in life super hard. Those horses always need more than four to seven sessions to grasp basic concepts. Their ability to learn now is stunted. It's okay with me if they learn slower, I've got all the time in the world. I have to train the new owners to have time too. Time is the key to patience with a horse that's slower to pick things up. 

In one extreme case, I worked with a mule named Dan who quite literally forgot the most basic lessons day, after day, after day. It was only months later that he showed signs of remembering his constant lessons. Animals like Dan have genuine learning disabilities. If the environment is safe, if the trainer is kind, effective, and rewarding, if the program is clear and rewards are predetermined at easy, achievable places on the path forward, and the animal still doesn't remember day by day, you have a horse or mule or dog or husband (just playing), with a learning disability.

It's OK! You can still grow with them. You can still help them. Just on a different timeline. 

I feel like we are just scratching the surface about learning. They'll be more to come in later posts for sure. But for now, trust that yes, horses can have learning disabilities. Let that knowledge give you some grace if they aren't picking things up as fast as your last horse or your friends horse. Also... don't let that be the reason you stop playing and growing together. Don't let any excuse hold you from being a good leader and learner yourself. We've created resources to help you along the way if you have a horse like this. Tune in. Click the links below. I'll be here for you!

Blessings, see you on the path!

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I know you know this already, but sometimes... even something you know, you need to be reminded of. At least that's true for me. 

There is a difference between having a horse that is capable of responding and having a horse that consistently responds. Think of asking your horse to canter while riding...

Is your horse capable of cantering? Yes!

Is he consistent in his responses? You tell me!

Most people leave their training sessions at "capable." Which means, yes, your horse can do what you ask. And in the beginning, that's appropriate. But at some level, someday, you'll have to dial in your training style to train for consistency of responses instead. 

Now... what does the rider need to do to get better? 

You guessed it. PRACTICE! 

Practicing, or I like the word polishing, a cue is something a lot of riders either don't know they have to do or simply choose not to do. It requires repetition even when things are going well. Which means... it is entirely possible to quit too soon with a horse. It's nice to have a capable horse. It's a whole other thing to have consistency. Think of it like two different modes of training. First you train the horse to be able to do something, then you train the horse to do it so well that anybody else could get the same results with your horse.

Imagine spending a few weeks or months with a young horse teaching them to be capable of cantering safely. Now, shift gears. You're safe. Now it's time to teach the horse to be so good at that cue and so non-reactive that even a young person or novice rider could safely enjoy the canter on that horse. That takes time. I call it treadmill time, because it's not new anymore. It's repetition. It's polishing. 

The real trick is discovering how to make consistency training valuable and rewarding for both you and the horse. 

To learn that... imagine hiring a coach to turn you into an athletic marathon runner and his job is to make you feel happy about the time you're going to spend on the treadmill, (while you're on the treadmill.) What would he need to do for you? What kind of rewards would need to be in place for you to enjoy the long, boring work. 

You see, this is why horses struggle with developing skills, or I should say, polishing skills. Horses struggle to understand why they should keep going even when they get it right the first time. Take trailer loading for instance. At first, it's nice to know your horse can get in and not be afraid. But then the real work begins. Your training style has to shift to making getting in and getting out and getting in again, over and over, valuable and even fun for the horse. 

Do a self check first. Are you okay with repetitive training? Most people have their own internal struggles with it. It's natural. It's something you might want to improve upon. Then, when you're ready, apply it to your horse. Help the boring work be easier and more valuable with more rewards and more recesses between the work. You could work daily and you could even have several sessions in one day and also work daily. It depends on the endurance required for the tasks. Cantering for instance takes a lot of energy and time to recover, so less, more often is good. Trailer loading however could be done over and over in a single session, then daily for a few days, then you'll find it's better than ever. 

Will your horse get bored during your polishing sessions? YES! Do you know how to motivate and encourage a bored horse? It's a useful skill to know. Most people simply avoid ever boring their horse or they send their horse to a trainer to get through those session without them. But one way or another, repetition is always the mother of skill. 

In summary, ask yourself, is it time to shift from asking my horse if he or she will do something for me to asking if he or she will do something well, more polished, more consistently. Imagine a more novice person or someone unfamiliar to your horse. Could they get the same results? It's a good thought experiment to learn your horses true understanding of a task. 

Thanks for reading, as always, share, like, subscribe and lean in deeper to learn more. Click to get a free exploratory strategy session with a pro... 

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The argument for treats as rewards for horses, by Don Jessop

If you're a trainer that doesn't like to use treats with horse's I have two things to say, and they're both nice so don't worry.

First, it's okay. I understand why you don't promote treats. I've mapped out the hazards just like you. I'll get more into that in a minute. Second, do your thing. You must have some things figured out already. No judgement from me.

If you're someone who wants to use treats with horses, like me, there are some things you need to know. First of all, horses really only like nine things in life, specifically during training. That's it. Nine things total! Unlike people, who seem to like nine thousand things in every size and flavor, horses are simpler. Two of those are things are useful to know about but more for a long term training experience. That leaves seven things that horses like, which are useable as rewards in a moment to moment exchange. A treat reward is one of those seven things. As a professional, I'd hate to deprive you of that tool.

The nine things horses like during training are...

1. Release from pressure

2. Food rewards

3. Companionship with other horses

4. Soak time or rest time

5. Space/distance from pressure

6. Playtime

7. Scratching/grooming

8. Verbal praise

9. Memories of something easy and fun

Here are some important details for each of those nine things. Keep in mind... they aren't in any specific order. You could attempt to order them, only to find some horses prioritize their likes and dislikes differently.

1. Release from pressure.

This one is super basic. Pressure and release are the basis for almost all training modules across all species. This is as simple as applying a suggestion, supporting that suggestion with a rope, stick, reins, leg cue, etc., then releasing that suggestion. The horse learns that to do what you want, he simply has to respond to your pressure, or signal/support mechanism if you'd rather call it something else, because when he does, there is a release from that tension. We are all like that. We all move to the path of least resistance, just like everything in nature. So, naturally, when the pressure comes off, the horse feels better. It's a simple, important, magical understanding of basic principles.

2. Food rewards.

We could stop after this one, it's the whole premise of the article. But oh... there is so much more to learn. That's why horses are so exciting. Food rewards happen to be the most controversial reward across the whole spectrum of English, western, liberty, driving, or any other training discipline. I talk more about this in another article (To treat or not to treat). We know why it's so controversial. We've all seen enthusiastic horse owners get pushed and nibbled to an annoying, if not dangerous degree. We've all seen horses so distracted by the smell of a cookie, or crinkle of a wrapper that they lose all semblance of concentration. It's no wonder some trainers can't hack it when it comes to using treats. They can be a huge distraction. I heavily warn people about this distraction and go into more detail as to how to avoid it in my other articles. Simply put, don't give a treat to a horse that's "asking" for a treat. Why? Because you'll be rewarding him for asking for treats. Give the treat when he/she stops asking. Reward the energy you want, not the frantic "gimme, gimme, gimme" energy. And... you have to have the ability to say No! Search yourself for that ability and grow it.

In saying all that, horses love treats or food rewards. They are extremely valuable as a training tool. And there are dozens of ways to implement them safely and effectively for the best results. I'd like to show you those ways. Stay tuned for videos and more. Follow me on youtube, instagram, facebook and more. I'm a huge promoter of food rewards done right.

3. Companionship with other horses.

This is one of those long term things not as useful in the moment. We know horses love company, so it's useful as a reward to give them company. In the long term, if you plan right, companionship with other horses, for your horse, will enhance your own relationship with your horse too. 

4. Soak time and rest time.

This one is part of the release from pressure mechanism but it get's it's own paragraph because I specifically denote "time." It's one thing to release the pressure from a leg cue as a reward for moving off your leg. It's a whole other thing to sit and let the horse soak on the exchange of information. This happens to be one of the most valuable and misunderstood and even underused training tools. People often get into too much of a hurry. It's useful to stop, let the horse soak on it for a while. Wait for a change in breathing, or a lick and chew, before you rush off to prove something.

5. Space or distance from pressure

Like "time," space also gets its own paragraph. Standing too close too your horse, or in another scenario, standing the horse too close to the scary thing, can still feel like pressure. Learning enough about the natural geometric, spatial needs of a horse will enhance your ability to make them feel safe or rewarded during a training exercise. Oh... we could go on, and we do in our Mastery classes. Want to deep dive with me? Learn more.

6. Playtime.

This is the other of the two long term strategies. It's fairly hard to reward your horse for a behavior by letting them head off and play with their friends. Usually, we're asking for tasks that demand concentration and deeper, more relaxed thoughts from the horse. However, there are a few moments in the early stages of training something new that "play" comes in pretty handy. Moments like when a horse explores a plastic tarp on the ground for the first time and instead of running away, begins to play with it, lifting it, biting it, pawing at it, you name it. Those are special moments in the early days. Perhaps not something you want the horse to do all the time, but something to consider as a reward long term and in some unique circumstances.

7. Scratching/Grooming

Nothing beats an itchy spot when it comes to rewards. Well, food rewards can, but sometimes not even food rewards beat a good itchy spot. I recommend finding those spots on your horses. It's magical when you do. In my mastery clinics I devote a whole twenty minute segment each day to something I call "dirty hands." Where we look for those spots on our horses. And, just for fun, the student with the horse that's the most expressive wins a prize. Soft grooming is also nice. A simple reassuring touch or brush can mean a lot to a slightly tense horse. You have to learn to read the moment. Sometimes they want space. Sometimes they want touch. Ironically, softly consoling a horse at the wrong time can have a reverse effect on their trust in you as a leader. (More to learn on that too.)

8. Verbal praise

Believe it or not, horses learn verbal commands and verbal rewards. They are associated to pressure and release and often coupled with other rewards and cues, but we'd be doing a disservice not to use verbal praise as a training tool. In part, in fact... in a huge part, they learn verbal cues due to the simple fact that horses feel our energy even when they don't yet understand our words. So, saying "thankyou" shifts your energy from an asking stance to a passive stance. It's noticeable, even to the auditors in my clinics when a student gives verbal praise. The student suddenly shifts from a critic to a friend. FYI... harsh words have the opposite effect.

9. Memories of something fun or easy.

This one makes the most sense in this context... Imagine your horse is good at something. Perhaps she just loves putting her front feet on the pedestal or pushing the ball across the arena. That task can be used as a reward. In other words, if you're attempting something challenging, something new, after you see some initial success, you could take the pressure off and go to something easier, something you know the horse loves to do. I don't employ this all the time, but it's an arrow in my quiver. Food for thought.

Now... wow!!! We made it through the wilderness with all that information.

Back to the premise of this article, "The argument for using treats with horses." Simply put... they love them! Why would I take away something they love? I can see limiting that thing to special occasions. I can see learning about timing and rewarding energy too, not just tasks. I can see the importance of boundaries and concentration. But I can also see the value of bonding with your horse using one of the most valuable, natural experiences in the world. Sometimes I simply stand at my horse's side after I throw out the hay for them to eat. I let them associate me, with their food. Sometimes I let them eat while riding too. Sometimes I open my hand to present a treat. All horses learn to respect my rules around treats very quickly. In my hands, all horses learn to shift their vibrations to a peaceful state regarding treats. They don't maul me, beg me, push me. They do ask, every horse asks, but they don't get treats just for asking. 

In short. I argue for treats done properly. I see their value. I see the hazards. I can balance the two. Can you? Is it worth it to you to learn about using treats properly or would you prefer to simply avoid them? It's okay if you do avoid them. Lots of people do. No judgement from me. I only ask that you double down on the other reward systems. Don't be an over critical trainer that doesn't balance bonding with training. It should always be a 50/50 exchange. Too much bonding and horses never learn anything. Too much training and the horse learns tasks but also learns to resent them or you. Treats done right can help me keep it 50/50. 

In full summary. Be open. Learn more. Grow. Dive deeper! I'm here to take that leap with you. Dive into the depths of horsemanship with me.  

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The 6 categories of horse activities 

These 6 categories encompass all horsemanship activities and they simply describe the mode of application. 

In a typical international dressage event, sit five judges assessing the quality of a dressage test.

I believe there should be a sixth judge...

"Not my Prince," is a story about an extraordinary horse, a young man with a dream, undoing loss of that horse, and finally, that slightly older man's dream, re-written.

His name was Prince.

Picture the quintessential Arabian horse. Slightly dished, chiseled face, narrow shoulders when you look at him straight on, long pasterns above the feet, making for a smooth ride. He was just over fifteen hands high and snow white in color. What made Prince special was two-fold. First, you could tell he was Arabian, there was no denying his heritage. A keen eye could even point out his particular Egyptian breeding, making for a more refined head. But he was the perfect model of an athlete. Everyone who saw him, immediately knew he was not cut from the standard cloth. He was molded in a special way.

He was compact, sleek, strong, rounded in his topline and neck, flexible, and soft in all the right ways. He had big round eyes, unhindered by life pressures, and long eyelashes that suggested a certain kindness and warmth. He had a low resting heart rate, and a huge heart to boot. His endurance was off the charts. One time, in a mile long flat race with my friend on his quarter horse mare, I found his speed limit. He could not provide an ounce more energy, not one more mile per hour in speed. So naturally, I started to pull him up at the end of the race only to find I couldn't. He didn't want to stop... in spite of the fact he had nothing left. We carried on for nearly two miles before he felt inclined to heed my suggestions. My friend's horse was faster in the quarter mile, but Prince had something else my friends horse couldn't touch. A heart, not unlike the famous Secretariat. 

The second thing that made him special was his willingness to learn. I'd never seen a horse that could pick up new skills like him. In mere days of trying out bridle-less riding I could canter and fly through figure eights and jump courses without any problems. Liberty work was a breeze. He loved to connect and perform for me. When presented with a young rider, he would be extremely careful. It's like he knew when someone sat precariously on him and his level of caution for the rider increased. His attention to detail remains in my memory like no other horse before or after him, in my experience. He had the body and he had the brains. He was, by most measures, a perfect horse for me. I felt proud to sit atop him. The kind of pride someone gets when they show up in their newly purchased car to a family barbeque and everyone gets to see it. Only I felt that way every time I rode and every time I worked with him on the ground.

And then... one day, late in his teens, he began to fade. I retired him early and a few short years later he passed. His last year was spent in darkness as his vision slowly diminished. Such is life... filled with awe and wonder and also undoing grief. I saw it coming, it wasn't as if it came as a surprise, but it left a huge hole in my life and an opportunity to learn in ways I never imagined and in ways I can only describe today, twenty years later, in hopes of supporting you on your journey earlier, rather than later. 

After Prince came many other horses, many memorable experiences. One mare in particular became my "true blue" partner. She stamped her own place in my heart and refilled that space that Prince left in her own way. But every single horse, if I'm honest with you and honest with myself, came short. People would ask me if I like my new horse and I would always answer enthusiastically, just how much, but inside, deep inside there was a voice that would whisper, "But it's not my Prince." No horse compared to Prince and I found myself always comparing them and falling short. He was the legendary Prince and the standard for all great horses. As time passed, with grace, the whisper faded too. I don't remember when, but one day I didn't hear myself comparing horses and I felt freedom I didn't recognize right away.

Now... fast forward to just weeks ago. I find myself in an open arena, stretching my voice across the sandy surface to all my students, teaching a horsemanship class set in the green, fertile hill country of eastern Pennsylvania. Suddenly, I hear one on my students express her frustration toward her horse. Her comment snapped me back to that whisper I remember.

She said, "I like this horse but he doesn't compare to my old horse."

She continued to express her desire to give up and sell the horse in hopes of getting a better one. With some prompting questions I found out she'd done exactly that before. Many times in fact. She'd lost her Prince and was searching again for the same thing. I knew her loss. I felt her frustration. I lived it then, and in the moment again with her. And in that moment, a deep, sad truth presented itself. Prince, "my Prince," was gone... and gone for her too.

And then a sliver of hope emerged. A sliver that took me many years to realize and identify well enough to point toward it in our shared moment of grief. That light was the realization that the horse in my hands had it's own value. A different value, no doubt, but a certain, strong, important value. A life changing sense of worth. A grand opportunity to experience something new and deep and meaningful. That sliver of hope was the realization that the horse I have now, and I explained this to my student in the moment, is the horse I need most in my life right now. Whatever fate brought us together, we are here to learn, to grow, to become something new. That means stepping into the relationship boldly, trusting there is something important and memorable at the crossroads of memory and potential. It means living in the moment and celebrating the past but not reliving it. It means seeing a path layed out ahead, fraught with hazards and new learning curves, and also joy and freedom and excitement. 

I hope for my student's sake, she took it to heart. Certainly, for the rest of the class she held a different kind of gaze on her horse. More like a curiosity and sense of wonder, rather than a frustrated sense of resentment and loss. I hope she remembers to live in the moment and see what she has. And of course I hope you can do the same, dear reader.

If you love horses, it means you love your horse, the one standing in your field. Maybe it's not easy. Maybe your horse sucks at boundaries and bonding and has the attention span of a teething, tantrum-throwing, two year old child. BREATHE! It's all going to work out. There is a lesson here, that if you take the time to accept it, will change your life. In psychology there is a term called "trauma bonding." The term explains how when two individuals engage in something challenging and prevail or even just survive it, they bond in a way that no other means can present. It's like you've been to hell and back and you've learned something hidden and deep and special about each other. Don't be afraid of hard things. Don't be afraid of screwing things up. Don't hide in the corner and pout about the world you knew, when the world you have, waits for you. 

Prince gave me a gift. A feeling I'll never forget and always cherish. I still want him back. I still want to find his clone somehow. I'm sure that feeling will never die. But I won't dishonor his gift by missing what's right in front of me. I won't wait for a better life when I can make one. I won't wait for a better horse, when I can progress with the one I have. I will honor my Prince and the horses that have come since. I hope you will too. My dream is not to ride Prince again, not anymore. My dream is to experience the gifts my horses that I have now, give me, and for you to experience the same freedom at your own crossroads.

Thank you for hearing my story, and his story, and how he changed my life then and continues to do so even in death. 

"Here's to you Prince, I raise my glass and whisper your name." And here's to the horses in my field and your fields too. 

You can learn more about me and my journey here. Join my weekly classes and share in the journey together with fellow, progressive, horse loving friends.

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"I'm the professional, so I always know best." NOT!

I do know a lot but, I never want to transfer my goals onto you. I'm here to transfer my experience and technical information to inspire you to reach your own goals. Instructors have to be careful about this. 

Recently I met a fellow horse riding instructor on my travels who described how she was disappointed in her student for not really striving to get better. She described how she laid everything out for her student, in a simple, step by step plan and she's noticed how it doesn't seem to matter. Her student just takes her own time doing meaningless things. All that makes her lesson time seem meaningless. "If she's not going to work to improve, why am I teaching her what to do?" 

I can understand this problem. For many years I taught with a specific program. I knew every step and how to progress to the top. I knew exactly what a student needed to become as good as me and reach their goals quicker. But here is where I went wrong, and where my fellow instructor is falling short... I was teaching my students to reach my goals, not their own. I was always showing them how to be like me, instead of how to be a progressive version of themselves and strive for their own goals. The irony is, I didn't even really know their goals. Either I never took the time to learn them, or they didn't know for themselves. Naturally, if a student doesn't know what they want, we start showing them a path. Maybe that's what happened to my fellow instructor. Perhaps she found her student's lack of clarity as a signal to promote and impose her own goals onto the student. Regardless, as instructors, we need to dig deeper. 

It's true, many people aren't clear on what they want. But with a little digging, it shows up pretty quick. I met my fellow instructor's student a few hours later. Within a few minutes, it became clear she wasn't interested in jumping or dressage like she'd been doing in her lessons. She was solely interested in trail riding with her friends on a safe horse. She described how it was challenging taking lessons from her other instructor because no matter what she wanted, the lessons always bent toward jumping instead of ground work and safety preparation. I commend her on finding her clarity. I'm certain her path will open up and include many exciting endeavors in the future too. For now, it's clear on what needs to happen for her, and all it took was a little more digging, an open mind to work on the important things instead of the fun things only, and a desire to help her succeed in her own goals. 

For those horse instructors reading this, ask more questions. Check in, ask your students about their goals. Ask them often, you might be surprised how they shift. Be open to that shift, we are here to serve. Don't assume you know best because you are the professional. Support your student at their level with their goals. This means you might have to expand your horizon. I don't love driving horses from a cart, but I have students who dream of it. I had to learn how to support them. I had to continue my education. It's worth doing. Continuing education is a must for me and my colleagues who don't want to rest on their laurels. 

For those students who are reading, stop the cycle. Be bold, tell your instructor you want to try new things. Don't buy into the idea that just because you are paying them, they know everything. Trust me... we don't know everything. "A master, is always and forever, a student first." If you notice your teacher is not a student of progress and adaptive to change, be open to finding a new teacher. There are many great horse trainers and teachers out there. You, your horse, and your happiness on your journey depend on you being bold. So be bold. And in case you feel like you need some communication tools to become that bold, clear, diplomatic person. Call me. I can help you develop those skills. Click here to get a free strategy session with Don Jessop  https://calendly.com/horsemastery/15min

Believe it or not, your horse's happiness depends on you. If you're not doing something you feel is fun, safe, progressive and enriching, then you are doing a disservice to your wonderful horse. Take a new path and remember what you're here to do. Follow your dream and always, let other people follow theirs. 

Thanks for reading.

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Post after post on Facebook shows that people are becoming aware of what poor horse care looks like, and poor riding, and poor training. I am glad to see this change in our link to our ancient partners in industry and pastime. 

Horses deserve our best. They need freedom, friends, food, and fulfillment.  If we offer them any less, we are sadly going to find ourselves among the "canceled by society." Don't give the cancel culture a reason to frown upon our lovely lifestyle with horses.  The best way to ensure the grace of the ignorant or vengeful cancel society is to never give them a reason to be ignorant and vengeful. 

Always show the world the best you have to offer your horses. Avoid displaying frustration with a horse.  Avoid displaying the drive to win a ribbon over the drive to win your horse's heart. Play to the strengths of the horse you have, never risking injury to accomplish your human goal to succeed. 

Always balance your training with bonding to ensure the world sees the best of what horse people claim they're capable of. 

Just yesterday I gave a demonstration in which the horse struggled to understand a simple cue. He kept failing to get it. Regardless, each time I rewarded him for his efforts and with the repetition and rewards combined, plus absolutely no frustration emanating from me, he finally got it.  The onlookers saw how challenging it was for him but also saw how I kept putting him first, making the goal a distant second. 

Never, did anyone question the practice or think it was too much for him to handle because, at no point did I make my goal more important than his experience. By the end, he performed willingly and I never lost the bond we shared. He didn't question if I was a safe person to be with. He willingly followed me, at liberty with a calm, happy attitude and even stayed at my side after turning him loose in his paddock. I didn't ask him to stay and I didnt have hidden consequences if he didnt. It was his choice. 

The point is, learning can be hard sometimes but the experience at the end should be enriching. Both parties should walk away with peace and understanding and a silent agreement that we are safe and happy together. This sometimes means taking extra time to bond after any or all training sessions. The real point is... even in learning situations, put the horse first.

We need the world around us, the onlookers and observers, to see how we love and care for our horses. We don't need them to see another person get frustrated and act poorly toward our equine friends.  If you're frustrated, change something. We have the tools you need. We have the technique to solve any challenge and progress to any level. Learn more...

Help share this message with the world. Let's keep our horse industry together by encouraging our community to do the same. 

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So, you had a bad ride, or a bad day, or a bad week. So what? Who doesn't? Take a look at the big picture and realize blaming isn't getting you anywhere. Don't blame yourself, don't blame others, don't blame the circumstances. And... Don't give up! Don't get all dramatic. Just chill out for a second. Literally tell yourself... "I'll feel better in an hour or so, then I can think clearly again."

People make impulsive decisions because they are reaching for feelings rather than logical thinking. Feelings aren't useless. Quite the opposite actually. But they aren't everything. Logic must dictate more of your experience and logic says... chill out. It's not the end of the world. And in case I'm wrong and it is actually the end of the world, relax, there's nothing you can do about it anyway.  Enjoy the time you have left and stop responding to the negative feelings that surround you. 

I recently heard someone explain the word responsibility like this... "response-able," or, "able to respond."  I like that definition. It implies you are capable of choosing your response to a stimulus." You are not strictly subject or slave to circumstances but a co-author of experience.  

So, knowing that... it's nice to know you can "choose" to chill out. Don't let a bad moment ruin a good day. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Don't kiss goodbye to the things you actually love because they pissed you off or scared you for a minute. Hang in there, be responsible, and be resourceful. 

Speaking of resources. 

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The horse lovers I know, grow older and wiser in all the best ways. But occasionally I hear someone say they're getting too old for working with horses. 

This is where I encourage better language patterns. The phrase "getting too old," simply isn't valid. You're never too old. It's possible you're just repeating what your parents said once. It's possible you're excusing yourself because you aren't enjoying it anymore and you're burning out. It's also possible you're doing it wrong, making what you love, something you don't love anymore. 

With horses, doing it wrong is easy. We have these images promoted by outdated techniques to get a horse going quickly to the highest level. That path is hard. But it's also not necessary. Horses are supposed to be fun. AND... horses are supposed to have fun. Putting pressure to be perfect early, is simply too much pressure and can easily cause burnout. 

I want to be 100 years old and still riding, or still enjoying horses at the speed I can work at. But I know it's possible because I know a simple truth. Even the most difficult, dangerous tasks can be broken into smaller, bite size chunks. A colt doesn't have to be started in a month. It can take place over two years or longer. A bucking horse doesn't have to be ridden out, they can be guided to better behavior over time with more positive reinforcement. 

The point is, if you're in a hurry to get things done, you're rushing, and life's no fun. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy what's right in front of you. Embrace the hard task you're in and stop wasting your mental energy on what comes next. Or... what you wish would come next.

Recently I worked for 2 hours helping a young horse accept needles and vet work. I never got frustrated. Never built up expectations of being done with it. Never wanted to be anywhere else. Because I knew it would work, even if I had to spread the work over days or weeks, or months. What's the point of rushing? We don't want our horses to be impulsive and rushing about. So how about we stop doing that ourselves? And in the middle of it all, we might just find we aren't too old for anything. 

Life is grand. 

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I've been called a horse whisperer before. Many of my colleagues get the same label. It's an honor really. But over the years I've made it clear, I'm not the whisperer. I'm not the one speaking in subtle, inaudible tones. The horse is. 

I can hear those whispers. That's what makes people like me unique. I can feel what a horse is thinking, considering, fearing, wanting. I can see it written in every crease of the skin, tightness of the muscle fibers, shape of the eye, rhythm of the breath, and more. We don't whisper, people like me, we get pretty good and showing elegant communication and timing, with practice, but it's the horse that's whispering to us. He, or she, is telling us everything we need to know, if we know how to hear it. 

Have you ever seen a horse spook at something scary coming up from behind you, unexpected? Do you remember the electric feeling. That jolt of energy bursting from the horse.  I can feel that before it happens. I can sense and pick up on the same things my horse is sensing and act more preemptively to guide my horse to a calmer state. You can to. It's not magic what people like me do. Although it often feels magical and amazing. It's actually science. Acute observations made over and over until the patterns emerge. 

One simple pattern you can master today, without diving all the way into our programs, is this.... notice the head, relative to the shoulder. If the head is high set, above the shoulder as you ride along, that means the underside of his neck is filled with tight muscle fibers holding his head up. Those tight muscles require energy to upkeep. The energy required to be tight can distract the horse from things that seen obvious to us but come out of the blue for the horse. This means, he's more likely to be spooky with a high headset. Simply because they have a poor distribution of physical feedback systems.

In other words... high headed horses tend to be spooked easily. And horse whisperers know that getting the horse to loosen those tight under neck muscles leads to calmer, braver horses. It's a generalized idea of pattern recognition, but you get the idea. 

There are thousands of these details, from breathing patterns, to stool texture, to blood vessels in the eye and wrinkles in the skin. It would be egotistical and unreasonable to suggest I know them all. In fact, I keep learning more. Some whispers aren't spoken in a moment but spoken over a month. Some whispers are obvious enough for anyone to see, like a limping horse, and some are so subtle I don't see them until the second or third time they show up. It seems every year I tell my students, "If I only knew then what I know now."

But the point isn't perfection. The point is progress. The mission, should you choose to accept it, is to dive deeper into the subtle art of communicating with these beautiful creatures. 

The impact it has on the relationships you share is magnificent. Not just horse/human relationships, but all relationships. 

My mission has been to share my findings with the world I know. To bring on board colleges who can share the same and even more, and to always provide the best and most relevant horse experiences I can. I want this world to know what I know, and more, sooner. If my students could learn what's taken me half a lifetime, but learn it in less than a few years, I'd be over the moon. It's my mission to simplify and lend access to all that the elite horsemen around the world do so naturally. 

Join me and dive deeper. Every week I do a private zoom call for my dedicated students sharing more and more of these tools and tips.  Here's your chance to find out what it's like to experience a club of like minded folks diving in deep into true horsemanship, or in the case of this article... horse whispering. 

See you soon.

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Have you ever been frustrated with your horse when it seems like he or she won't do something you're pretty certain they already know how to do? 

Well... first of all, don't forget to add this to your reading list.  "One thing you should never do with a horse." Now I'm going introduce an interesting phenomenon that most people have never heard of but most everyone has certainly experienced. The best way for me to introduce this wild feature about how horses learn is through a simple, memorable poem.

When it comes to doing things with horses, we often have this experience...

One, two, we can do!

Three, four...

 not anymore.

In other words, we succeed, then moments later, when we ask for the same task, we fail. This can be one of the most frustrating experiences for people. Most often, when it happens, people second guess their leadership, often wishing they hadn't asked again. But fear not, this is not the end of our poem.

One, two, we can do!

Three, four... not anymore.

Five, six, now it's fixed.

Seven, eight... not so great.

Nine, ten, we're back again!

The poem, in its entirety, describes the natural peaks and valleys of concentration and success. When we dive deep into human learning, we see the same phenomenon. It seems we all grasp a certain part of success then fail to grasp it moments later. It's like our brains never perfect something until we've tasted all the imperfections. Horses are no different.

The important thing is to remember that learning has peaks and valleys and it's okay. It's best if you end on a high note, but not horrible if you have to go through a low note to get back to another peak. The point is, it's inevitable, so why be frustrated? Flow with the peaks and valleys, seeking another high point. Your horse isn't being a jerk, they aren't sticking their tongue out at you when you fail after you succeed. They aren't questioning your leadership. They are learning. This is a natural learning experience. Dig deep inside your own psychology and discover the same simple truth. 

Now you're free, now you can guide your horse to success, through the failures instead of being upset by them. Once we learn the cycles, and they do differ slightly from the poem for each horse, we can optimize our horse's memory. In other words, sometimes, it's best to end on the first high note, but if you really want something to stick in and improve sooner, you can choose to go through a valley or two on purpose, knowing you can reach other high notes and end on that. By going through the valley, you make a stronger impact on the importance of the task. And our horses see us as someone who is persistent and cares enough not to end on a bad note.

But..., in case you do decide to go through a valley in search of another peak, be patient. Recently I stood next to the horse trailer with a student who was asking her horse to enter. She tasted some success early, then naturally, we entered a valley. Within a few minutes I could sense she felt like quitting. She felt guilty she'd asked for more. I kept encouraging her to stand her ground, calmly, don't escalate, don't make the horse feel bad, and don't back off. Be grounded and certain that this is simply a valley, and the peak is coming soon. It took about twenty minutes before the horse settled into the communication again and took that next step forward. Within the hour, she had her horse calmly standing in the trailer with all four feet. In that session we experience three or four valleys. 

In the end, the horse was not upset, not sweating, not frustrated, and neither was my student. We experience true learning together, imprinting knowledge without frustration. In my world, I call that freedom. Free from the rules of the past and fear of being perfect. It's what progress should be about. Simple, relatable, and real. 

I want you to remember the first two lines of that poem. It will take the edge off you anytime you need your horse to do something more than once. It will make you stand out as a leader in the industry. In my opinion, the leaders I trust the most, are the ones who calmly seek progress and never show frustration. It's like they trust progress is just around the corner in spite of the current display of uncertainty by their follower. 

Memorize the poem and keep it close. Thank you for reading and please comment below. 

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I know the feeling. You have too many irons in the fire, so riding takes a back seat. Well... I've got the remedy. 

Here's the remedy, and don't hate me for being so blunt... STOP COMPLAINING.

Yep. Just stop saying all the stuff you say about how you "don't have time or money or energy or whatever." Here's the thing... what comes out of your mouth is the printout of your thoughts and by ceasing to talk about negative outcomes, you can literally jam up the printer, so the thoughts don't come out and your brain starts looking for new ways to communicate with the world. 

Think of it like this, energy flows, or... it builds. Stopping the negative self talk and constant expression about what you "don't have," builds up energy in you. It has to go somewhere. Here's the trick, you let it go somewhere, but somewhere you consciously choose, instead of accidentally react to. Choose better speech. Make a deal with yourself to allow progressive and supportive speech patterns out the printer and let all the other stuff keep jamming it up.  This way, your subconscious learns that the only way to have energy flow is to be positive. To express faith, to embrace gratitude. 

The phrase, "I don't have time," will forever jam up the printer, and stop before it exits your mouth. In it's place, a new phrase will replace it. "I have all the time I need."

So, what if you don't believe it.

So, what if it feels fake.

Everything feels awkward at first. Even the truth.

Think about the first time you realized you can swim. Up to that point you didn't know you could, but you kept working at it. It was awkward, ugly, and in comparison, to Michael Phelps, pathetic and nothing like swimming. Yet, you persevered anyway. You didn't allow failure forever and you didn't go around telling everyone you can't swim.

In case you did go around telling everyone, one of two things happened. You either still believe you can't, or you stopped saying that and started the journey without carrying that negativity with you. 

That's the whole point.

Stop carrying around the negative self talk. It strips away your potential for time, energy, peace, happiness, prosperity, everything.

So here's the challenge. This week, jam up the printer. Consciously stop saying you "can't or don't have time." As the need to speak builds, allow a new, better version of truth through your lips. Something like, "I can make time." 

I'm not telling you to ride this week, I'm telling you to open the door to a better, healthier, you. And in the near future, guess what? You won't be loaded down with negativity and "busy-ness" and you'll instinctively move toward your amazing vision of a productive life. And... not just maybe, but absolutely, you will have time to ride.

Comment below. 

PS. In case you're using the phrase I don't have time as an excuse not to do something, it's time to get real. You're afraid of something. Deny it if you wish, you're not fooling anyone. Regardless, the remedy is the same. Fear is overcome by focus and truth. Rewrite your speech patterns to be positive and proactive rather than reactive. It will change your whole world. 

If you need help with your time or fear. Sign up here for a free strategy session.

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How to train an over-sensitive horse.

NUMBER 1: Don't be sensitive about their sensitivity. When you react to their reaction, you demonstrate you cannot be trusted. 

This is the most important piece. Your negative response or any signs of frustration toward the over-sensitive horse is defined in human terms, as gaslighting.  It only proves to them you can't be trusted.

NUMBER 2. Act normal, just add a positive note at the end.

Don't try to avoid the triggers that make the horse go there. Don't walk on eggshells. When the over-sensitivity shows up, don't change how you communicate to avoid causing a scene. Instead, immediately, and visibly, follow up your normal communication patterns, just like with any non-sensitive horse, with added praise and love. It's the "added" praise and love that counts.

Here are two examples to illustrate... in our human world if my friend says something harsh to me, even in a teasing, playful way, I could be over-sensitive about it. But... if she immediately expresses sincere, non frustrated tones and words that show love, I instantly realize she means no harm and there's no need to be offended. This means she can say whatever she wants in a normal fashion but always, simply, follow up with immediate loving comments to reassure me. It has to be immediate. The delay between harsh comments, even in jest, and compliments or reassurance that she's kidding, causes mistrust. If there is no delay, the trust remains. 

In the horse world, if I tell my horse to move back to give me some space and instead he gets offended and races around at the canter. That doesn't mean I shouldn't have told him to get back. I don't have to walk on eggshells with my requests. But... I do need to immediately stop him and soothe him. Tell him it's okay. If the delay between demands and rewards is too big, the horse begins to believe the demands are harsh and he will either resent you later or be over-sensitive now. There is no world where you can be harsh and blunt, even in a playful way, without following up with kindness and love. That is... if you want an over-sensitive person or horse to trust you.

If you do this right, you will guide your partner to have a thicker skin. To be less reactive and more trusting. If you get the timing wrong or the balance of negative and positive wrong, you will cause more harm than good. And if you show frustration, you're doomed. You have to be at peace about their experience, regardless of their levels of sensitivity. Only from that emotionally mature and stable place, can you support their growth. I think somewhere in the Bible, someone talked about not trying to remove a small splinter in someone else when you've got a massive wood beam stuck in you. Or something like that, you get the point. You can't be reactive if you want them to trust you and grow into a less reactive being themselves. 

In summary, if you want to help your horse be less reactive to your signals, tools, or environmental pressures, or just your day to day personality quirks, you don't have to change. Be you, be normal, don't walk on eggshells, but... never show frustration and... always show praise and love and reassurance immediately after things that surprise or upset them regarding your normal patterns. With this, they learn you're safe. Over time the sensitivity diminishes and the natural, pleasant, back and forth communication resumes. 

If you need help with an over-sensitive horse. Sign up here for a free strategy session.

Its best to Give credit where credit is due

And one day the credit may just go to you

Not because you bested the people before

But the effort they gave made room for more

The haters and lovers are due for some too

Both deserve credit for the talent you grew

The haters for showing you all you don't need

And the lovers for praising you as you succeed

Some of us have seen our heros fall down

People we know once stood on solid ground

Regardless, with pride we can stand and renew

And always give credit where credit is due

In this world, it's certain we're never alone

And everything learned is handed and honed 

By the people before, their virtues and sins

Making room for progress and glorious wins

Reminding you always that it's never just you

And to always give credit where credit is due

The reason I wrote this poem is because one of my early horsemanship mentors fell to recent social media scrutiny. He deserved the bad press, no doubt, his methods are outdated and his communication about his technique isn't sufficient for today's modern media.

Regardless, here are my beliefs... Good, bad, or ugly, everything I've learned has come from other people and, of course, my own experiments working with what other people have shared, then my own tweaking and twisting the formals for different results. When my colleagues and friends, it's not the first time I've seen this, beat and destroy a person's character for the mistakes they made, I always cringe. I find it hard to ignore the value people offer, even fallen heros. I find it's best not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. 

In light of this recent exposure to this particular fallen mentor, one colleague wrote to me in disgust and shared how they would never speak to the person again and never use those methods again and never share any of it with another person. My heart broke a little. This colleague of mine is missing a grand moment to learn balance. To see the good in spite of the bad. And in light of that, I felt inspired to write the poem above and encourage us all to remember our experiences and always seek to take the best of them with us forever. As for the worst experiences, learn, discover, adapt, renew, reinvent, and replace. But don't bury them. They have their own value.

In my world of horsemanship, the list of people who deserve credit for my education is grand. Some of them, I don't study with anymore. Some of them are hard to get along with. Some of them are ignorant to the depths of the horse's psychology and spirit. Yet, all of them have played an integral part in my journey and I'm ever grateful. There's no need to play on negativity when such positive, abundant knowledge and experience lives in every character we meet. Take the good, leave the bad, and focus on what you can do next to fearlessly make the world a better place.

Comments are welcome and appreciated.

Don Jessop 

Somewhere in your program you have to have a place for this phrase: "the horse chooses..." 

If you don't have a place, you don't have a partnership, you have a dictatorship, and no one likes those. 

Recently my colleagues and I sat at a round table to discuss where King Author went on holiday, but after... we also discussed the concept of "choice" in our programs. Specifically, what do we allow our horses to choose, and when, and why?

My answer was "time," which I thought was particularly clever, confirmed by my friends' nods of agreement and my unchecked, poorly hidden pride. Letting the horse choose time means I always allow my horse to learn on their own terms. I never ram something down their throat, metaphorically speaking. If a horse needs a moment, I try to read that, and in the moment, give it.

My colleagues, masters in their own right, and far superior to me in many unique aspects, recited their own version of the phrase. Tony and Franzi indicated they allow their horses to choose the "maneuver," rather than deciding beforehand what the horse will perform. They instead play liberally with the idea of self expression and positive interactions. We all smiled and nodded in agreement to confirm their cleverness too. 

Andy bent more toward letting the horse choose the "space," giving room for a horse to move freely and confidently through a course rather than micro-managing every step. The best example is, rather than dictate the strides before a jump, he prefers to allow the horse to find balance independently and therefore, over time, feel more confident and happy about the tasks and relationship. And once again we all celebrated in his cleverness. 

Tristan spelled out a different version of the phrase. And when he said it, we all sat silently, and for too long. From his initial perspective he must of thought he did something wrong. No praise, no astute observations of his cleverness. But as the words slowly escaped our mouths, his confidence grew.

He said, and I quote... "What about, if the horse chooses you?"

He explained how in his program he wants his horses to always choose him. So simple. So profound.

Perhaps you can understand why we all sat dumbfounded. We all agreed, internally, without hesitation, because it's something we all do organically without even thinking about it. We all know there's no sense moving up any training ladder without the horse's desire to be connected, attentive, and together.

The problem is, we failed to see the simplest thing first. It's like when Steve Martin and Chevy Chase quickly changed their answers to Martin Short's question in the classic movie "The Three Amigos." Martin asked what they'd do with the money they earn. Steve and Chevy greedily expressed how they would buy big cars and fancy things, while Martin expressed a desire to open an orphanage and help solve world hunger. Comically..., after hearing his response, the other two immediately and guiltily jumped ship and agreed they would ALSO do that, and then..., after..., spend the money on new cars and fancy things. 

The point is, we all realized in our round table discussion how important it is to live by the simple principles first and ask the right questions often. "Out of sight, out of mind," they say. So, keeping things close to our heart means repeating them often in our daily language. 

The phrase, "the horse chooses...," invites a new frame of mind in every encounter. We love how the horse can choose his time, space, movements, and perhaps a dozen more things we haven't expressed yet. And we love how we all agree the horse must choose you.

It's a question I pose to you now. What does your horse choose? What do you allow in your program? When do you allow it and why? I'm presupposing you do let the horse choose, because I can't bare the thought of my readers not allowing certain freedoms in their equine activities. 

Answer the questions in your comments below. We love to hear from you. Tell us how this article impacted you and what you might change as a result. Share this article with your friends. 

Here's to our journey with our four legged friends. 🥂

Can't wait to hear from you. 

In my career with horses, I've been bucked off, ran away with, bitten, stepped on, squished, kicked, and whatever else you can think of. I wish none of those things happened, but... because they did happen, I'm more aware than the average horse person. I'm aware of the signs a horse gives before any one of those things happens. I see the tightness in the tiniest muscles. I see the misalignment in their posture. I see that spike in energy that indicates tension and disconnection. I see the hardness in the eye. The holding and shortening of breathing. I can see when it's okay to put my foot in the stirrup and climb on and when it's a very bad idea to ride. 

Now, at least in the northern hemisphere, it's turning spring. What that means is horses are about to start interacting with their humans more. It's the absence of frozen ground and minus temperatures that allow for it. The challenge is these same horses are fresh. They are renewed with energy and that new energy brings out all the signs I described before. Lesser focus from the horse, tight muscles, spiking energy, misalignment and posturing to play rather than remain calm. So, what is a horse owner to do? Should we assume our horse is as good as last year? Should we hop on and carry on like everything is ready?

Short answer... no.

If I'm gonna ride, I'm going to be certain my horse is "rideable." But how would I know? How can I test and train away the spring gitters or new energy in a horse due to changes in environment? It's a good question, right?

Over the years I've developed a series of "absolute must, no exception" tests for my horse before I ride. It helps me trust the horse. If you've been doing horses for as long as I have, I'm sure you have your own list of small tests that prove your horse is rideable, as you should.

Here are mine. Remember. No exceptions, no matter what. Especially with a horse that's fresh or unknown to me.

My list is simple.

1. In the groundwork, my horse must demonstrate rideable gaits, (walking, trotting, and cantering), especially cantering, and if cantering is not possible, then jumping. The reason is obvious, I hope. If I don't ask him to move out on the ground, how am I certain about what he's likely to do under saddle? Plus... cantering or jumping simulates more realistic behavior under pressure. Avoiding the canter doesn't tell you a deeper truth about rideability. 

2. My horse must demonstrate the ability to walk after cantering. Also, in the groundwork.  This shows emotional fitness like no other tests. Typically, horses stop abruptly or keep on moving with tension. Walking after shows a calmness needed for riding. 

3. My horse must demonstrate non reactivity to outside stimulus (sound, motion) while in motion. Still on the ground. I like to randomly flash my whip or flag to test foe reactivity. If he doesn't react, I'm happy. If he jumps at the sight or noise of a sudden flashy stimuli, I know he's not ready.

4. My horse must stand still for mounting. This one's self explanatory. Won't stand... doesn't want you on his back. It's a simple truth. 

5. My horse must demonstrate the ability to back off my hands. Specifically, off my hands. This one shows me, in an emergency, my reins will work as brakes. If I don't test for this, I'm guessing. It's so worth testing for positive responses to the reins before going anywhere.

Only at this point, is it truly safe for me to ride because I know his mind is right and ready. It doesn't mean he'll be perfect at steering or transitions, those I can work on in my riding warmup. What it does mean... is I have a fallback system if he begins to get excited. And that's really the key issue. If you don't have a basic understanding of who's in charge before you mount, or you're relying on what you had months ago and assuming it's still there, you'll get yourself in trouble. 

These exercises don't just work on my horse, they work on every horse. If you want to see a video of these. Comment below to let me know. 

Be careful. Establish your own list of must do's and enjoy the springtime or any other transition knowing you can interact with your horse like a leader, causing a safe, happy, fun relationship forever. 

Color, size, breed, personality, age, confirmation and soundness... they all matter. But what matters most? What are the priorities and how do you find out the less visible traits in your potential new horse?

Do's:

Do get really clear on your goals. Outline the horses desired training level to compensate for your skill level and desire activities.

Do clearly establish your own skill level. Too many people overestimate their own skill and buy horses that don't fit them.

Do write a detailed list of all the things you want. Cost, color, size, breed, personality, age, etc. Having a deep list doesn't mean you get exactly what you want, it just gets you closer.

Do consider, no matter what you buy, a horse is a horse. Even the best horses have bad days, so no need to ever be frustrated.

Do prioritize personality over color or looks. A horse that doesn't suit your learning or leadership style will be more challenging. Unless challenging is what you want. Make that clear in your goals.

Do check for soundness or potential soundness issues. Buying a potentially unsound horse due to feet or leg problems, or any other, leads to a short career with your horse and leaves you wondering if you can afford retiring him or finding a good home for him.

Do consider a window in time, no matter how good the horse is, where transitioning from one home to another causes disorder and a lack of focus for your new horse. Be gracious during that window. It could last six months to a year or more before they are fully integrated in your new home environment.

Don'ts:

Don't buy a green, untrained horse, if you want to enjoy safe group trail rides or arena riding anytime soon. The only way you'd consider this horse is if you are skilled enough to train yourself or financially secure enough to hire a good trainer for several months of dedicated work and many more touch up training sessions for the next year or so. 

Don't buy a horse that doesn't suit your goals. Or... at the very least, be prepared to change your goals for that horse. I've acquired horses in hopes of making a great riding horse, only to find out their going to be a long, long road to success and choose to make them into a nice liberty horse instead. Or perhaps they would make a great learning horse for someone who wants to understand the mechanics of horse behavior and mastery of the foundational skills needed to address challenging horses.

Don't acquire horses like an addict. My best friend told me he spent over seven hundred thousand dollars on horses over his career, and today, twenty years later, he has no idea where any of them are. He could afford it, but the average person becomes "horse poor." Too many horses in a small space because they can't help buying for potential but have no time to train because they have too many to feed.

Don't assume you can tell what a horse is like in one setting. Always plan several sessions with a prospect and in several settings. It's the only way to know if there is any consistency in the training. Lots of horses display great behavior on hot, sunny days, close to home and turn out to be dragons any other time. Don't get fooled by the home court advantage.

Have you got any of your own do's and don'ts? I never proclaim to know every answer for every scenario. That's why I love your feedback. Add your own do's and don'ts in the comments below. 

Stay tuned. These articles are coming out soon.

Testing a new horse for:

• personality,
• learning capabilities
• skillsets
• high pressure environment
• and soundness...

The fourth "F" doesn't refer to a four letter word that starts with "F". It refers to a list of things scientist from around the world have collaborated upon to help people understand horses. The first three have been on the list since the beginning of modern horse behavior science. The last one, I add today, as food for thought for you, the avid horse enthusiasts. Or should I say... addict. Wink, wink. 😉 

1. Food

2. Friends 

3. Freedom

And... 

4. Fulfillment

I love alliteration and acronyms because they help me tattoo important messages into my memory, making them easier to recall. 

For years, scientists who study horse psychology have agreed that in order for a horse to meet basic physical and psychological needs, they need three things: Food, friends, and freedom. 

For a horse in captivity, we learn to feed them about 2 to 3 percent of their body weight every day. A thousand pound horse gets 20 to 30 lbs. of roughage. We learn they also need friends. A lone horse can survive but thriving in the way of their instinctive family draw, requires a companion. So, most of us have horses together, or at least across the fence from each other, on a day to day basis. We also learn they need space to express their movements. A small pen or paddock doesn't allow for sprinting and flying about during a play session. We can all imagine an athlete being confined to a prison cell. Psychologically, it would be hell on earth to be confined to small spaces. 

Now for the last one... fulfillment. It's all about adding some kind of meaningful, engaging pathway forward. In nature it could be as simple as climbing the pecking order and earning breeding rights or exploring new feeding territory and watering holes. In captivity it needs to be something else. It needs to be playful and positive encounters with the humans that steward them. Liberty games, riding games, trail riding, etc. Even performance riding could be positive if you make sure to watch the horse's stress levels and learning capabilities. 

So, the question is... do you give your horse all four needs? Is something missing? In your goal to add fulfillment, do you need more knowledge about managing stress and making training a positive experience for both you and your horse?  

If you'd like inspiration. Look no further...

Thanks for reading, comment below. 

Don Jessop

Your horse is tight, tense, ready to explode, and you're just keeping it together, knowing any minute now, everything could go up in flames and you could be in serious trouble. Sound familiar?

Some riders enjoy the thrill of training out the bucky, bronco behavior in a horse, but I come from a different mindset. Even if I'm capable of riding the explosive horse, do I really want to? And furthermore, what message does that send to more novice riders? Do they see a good bronc ride and hope to be good enough one day to not be afraid of doing the same? Do they think they have to ride it out, because that's what training is, and anything less is not good horse training?

It's a pet peeve of mine to watch advanced riders tell people they should ride like a pro, either by words or by example.  If I make a video for you it's going to be made with you in mind, not just the horse. I want to give you tools that you can use today. Not hope to, one day, grow into. 

So here's the tool of the day and on our topic of riding a time bomb...

Get off before it explodes and work from the ground to get all that bubbly energy out of the horse. I know there are circumstances where that doesn't work as well, but I will happily outline a few scenarios where you can safely achieve your goal of riding, AFTER the explosive energy is gone, and not have to ride through it, or ride timidly to avoid it. 

Scene one. You've just tacked up and you're still near the barn or arena where all your tools are. You know..., like your longer ropes and sticks and such. You notice your horse is tense and if pushed, will start to explode. It could be the cold back, it could be the other horses playing in the field next door, it doesn't matter. You notice the ticking time bomb and you know you need to do something, but what?

Get off if you're on already. You're not Lane Frost, the pro bull rider, and you know it. Stop trying to be a hero. Help from the ground and get your horse right. Get all the bugs out of his system, or hers. For me that means a longer lead line, a stick and string, and a program of turns and transitions couple with exposure to sudden, flashy movements from my flag or stick. 

The goal is not to wear the horse out in mindless circles. The goal is to cause the blowup that you know is hiding under the surface and to contain it from the ground. In principle, if you cause it on purpose, you're in control of it instead of victim to it. My favorite techniques involve asking for trot and canter then, while cantering, wave my flag suddenly. Not at the horse, not a message or cue, just random noise to solicit a reaction. Then, shut the horse down. (Usually, stop him, turn and face him, and wait.) In short... he just exploded, and I contained him, proving I'm in control. 

Next. I do the same thing again, but the other direction. The turning to go the opposite direction is better than mindless circles that cause injury and it also gets their attention plus exposes them to the other eye. 

It's highly likely I'll have to test this multiple times each way until finally, and this works every time if you're persistent, my horse will stop reacting to my flag or stick. He'll trot or canter without bucking, pulling, rearing, whatever. It takes many attempts, but it's ten times safer than trying to manage it all from his back. 

And finally, once he can prove a non reactive state in both directions and different speeds, I feel safe to ride. He'll show both a willingness to transition and turn, and at the same time, a willingness to keep calm under the pressure of a random stimulus. 

If he hasn't let it all go yet, don't ride. Do more of the same thing. I've spent up to twenty minutes working on this before a horse proved to let it all go. No one wants to ride a time bomb. 

One quick word of advice. Don't walk on eggshells. I can understand that while riding you want to keep everything from exploding so you ride timid. But you're on the ground now. Bring out the big guns. And remember to be kind and rewarding with every noticeable effort to be better. 

Scene two. Your ride started out good but now you're deep into the trail ride and a long ways from your tools. The techniques above won't work if you don't have some decent footing and flatter ground with long ropes and flags. Now all you have is a bridle and saddle and two arms. 

Still... for the average rider, I recommend getting off. Lead your horse like you lead at home (hopefully you've paid attention to my leading games to make sure you're doing it in a fashion that guides the horse to be smarter.)

Most people lead from point A to B without thinking of the horses mindset. Not you, you've taught your horse to lead without ever stepping in front of you and being distracted. And now it's paying off. In this scene, you get off your horse and lead down the trail, correcting his attention and position over and over, after a mile or two his energy will inevitably change and, it's likely you can ride again. I've done many trail walk/ride combos and I'd do it again today if I needed to. No need to be a hero or feel like a failure if you don't finish your ride on your horse. 

In summary... get off, get out the bugs (ALL OF THEM) and get back on at the end. 

For more support on a personal level, all about you and your own horses, contact me. Your first call is totally free. I want to get to know you, help you, and understand your situation.  

Here's the personal free coaching call link

Comment below and share your thoughts. 

Almost anyone can sit on a horse, given the horse is calm and basic in his movements. Fewer people can sit on a horse that’s excited and sporadic in movement. But fewer still can guide a horse to be a better horse in general. And better in the ways of mental and emotional fortitude, clever and resourceful thinking, calm, responsive, and consistent. These “guiders”, not riders are what we aim to be, and the cool part is, we don’t have to be great riders to learn how.

Even the least skilled participants in my classes learn about guiding very quickly. First on the ground and then on the horse's back. But let’s not jump ahead too quickly. Let’s all make sure we agree on some basic ideas because perspective is powerful in this situation. If you have the perspective that a horse is to be “used” and not celebrated and honored, we won’t get very far together here. If you have the perspective that a human is similar to a horse on an instinctive, emotional level, we can go a long way today. I believe, and my colleagues as well, that a horse is an emotional being just like us. Knowing that gives us insights into how they would feel under pressure because… if we put ourselves in their shoes, that’s how WE would feel. That insight gives us grace in our communication rather than frustration. After all, if we walked a mile in their shoes, we’d behave in the exact same ways.

This perspective can make us great leaders and guides. The ability to see us in the same role changes how we communicate. So the first step in being a guide is holding in your heart a simple truth that we are not that different. The second step is learning to read the situation you’re currently stuck in. Great riders simply stick to the animal like glue, regardless of their movement. You can easily train and condition your body to become a better rider. In contrast, however, great “guiders,” don’t rely on their sticky butt. They rely on reading, adapting to, and changing the situational circumstances. And in particular, there are three things you need to read, all the time. (Alignment, Energy, and Connection.) The acronym I use in my clinics is, “Always Eat Chocolate,” or “AEC.”

Reading alignment is usually pretty easy for people to catch onto. On a basic level, it’s simply asking, “is my horse facing the right direction?” On a more advanced level it’s asking, “is my horse shaped correctly for the maneuver I’m attempting to perform?” Ironically, riders, not guiders, don’t notice alignment. They miss the cues as the horse steps into new spaces. They don’t seem to notice or care if the horse is twisting their body or hollowing their back or looking off into the distance when the task is close at hand. A great guider will notice and correct for those things.

Reading energy is a little harder to do. It’s simple enough to understand but it helps to agree on some terms. For reading energy I use a scale of 0–10.

0. dead
1. asleep
2. drugged
3. lethargic and slow
4. easy going
5. perfect (responsive, quiet, patient, ready, willing)
6. a little tense
7. very tense but holding it together
8. feet are coming off the ground (very excited)
9. out of control (anybody’s guess what happens next)
10. blind panic leading to hospital bills

If we can agree on the definitions of energy on this scale we can start to share a language which leads to tips on how to manage a horse’s energy. Again… riders just ride, guiders lead. For instance, to get a horse to come back from a six or seven, a guider will often double down on turns and transitions to refocus the horse and bring the energy to a five. To bring a horse up from a four or three, a good guide will often play games that offer rewards at different points, giving incentives to the horse to reach a destination and feel accomplished. That feeling of accomplishment and praise leads to more sensitivity and a greater desire to perform. Managing the extremes requires a few more tools we can, and often discuss in our mastery group. check it out.

Finally, reading connection is just as important as the others. A rider doesn’t care if the horse is connected, a guider cares deeply. The first time I learned about connection I couldn’t believe I missed it all those years before. In the simplest form… it’s asking if your horse sees you. Will he or she reach for you? Will he or she touch you when you reach back? On an advanced level, it’s asking if the horse responds to your signals with ease, and smoothly, and without delay. It’s reading how quickly they recover from a task and move back to an “at ease” mindset. It’s reading how aware they are of you and their surrounding without being too aware of either. Reading connection is of primary importance to truly be a good guide and not just another rider.

Becoming an expert at reading Alignment, Energy, and Connection is something to aspire to and we have the tools to help you master it. The best part is… you don’t have to be a glued down rider with a sticky butt and fantastic balance. You can be anybody. All you need is a passion for learning. Join us each week for more. Check out our Mastery Group.

Thanks for reading and please comment below.

Don Jessop

Today just isn't panning out like thought it would. All your hopes, all your plans, all your preparations, and nothing is going right, causing it all to fall apart. It's an epic fail.

So what next? Well, some say you should make lemonade from lemons and look at the good in everything. I tend to agree.

Just the other day we arrived at the airport for our travel across the pond to New Zealand, only to find out our travel documents weren't sufficient. It's been four years since we last traveled internationally and we misunderstood the new guidelines. Long story short, we didn't go that day. We had to completely re-book our flights. It was a big letdown for sure. We were facing freezing temperatures in Montana and tropical temperatures in New Zealand and one measly sheet of paper preventing us from enjoying the transition. The next day, if you can believe it, our plane needed a small part and the pilot delayed us another day. "The third time's the charm, they say." So on the third day, we finally departed our small hometown in Missoula, Montana only to find ourselves stuck in Denver, Colorado speaking with an agent after agent to book us through to California and finally New Zealand. In the end, we flew separately from Denver but we did finally arrive at our destination, and understandably exhausted after 72 hours of travel.

So we got dealt lemons. How could we make lemonade? What's the silver lining? Well. We don't always know. That's the tough part. We tend to think short term and allow the moment we are living in now to dictate our feelings, emotions, reactions, and behaviors. For me, however, it's easy to remember my childhood training. I had great parents that intentionally encouraged solution oriented thinking. They'd say things like, "It wasn't meant to be," and "there's some unknown reason you weren't meant to be on that flight." 

I like that thought. It's powerful and positive. 

It doesn't really matter if it's true or not. It's lemonade from lemons. It produces a better reaction from me. It helps me cope with the letdown. It's okay to have coping strategies. It's natural. It's imperative. It's nice when you have the awareness to choose your strategy for coping. My friend chooses anger. Nobody enjoys watching that. My other friend chooses cynicism and complaining. It's also ugly. My father, rest his soul, always chose reasoning. "There must be some reason." Now, in tough times, I often find myself trusting I'm better off for it (whatever it is) because stewing about it is causing harm to myself and the people around me.

How does it all apply to you and your experience?

Perhaps you're all geared up to go enjoy a nice horse ride today and your horse shows signs of lameness. Or perhaps your horse decides today is the day he won't get in the trailer or even let you catch him. Or maybe, it starts out well, but midway through your ride, your horse decided to buck you off. The point is, you got dealt lemons, and you don't get what you prepared for mentally and emotionally, and now you're feeling like a failure and the weight of the let-down is overwhelming. 

First... It's natural to feel heavy feelings. You don't have to stack negative associations to the reality that you're human and feel guilty for feeling defeated. It's okay... sit up, start over! Second, it's time to make lemonade. Remember the phrase, "There must be some benefit to all this I don't know yet." Use that phrase, or any like it, to open your lungs so you start breathing again because when you're breathing you're able to think about what comes next. You're able to escape the panic of the moment.

From the outside, you can hear my story of working hard to fix the immediate problems at the airport, speaking with agent after agent as other worried customers line up behind me. You can imagine the stress building with no immediate solution. But, if you're honest, even if you can relate, it's all imagined at a comfortable distance. It's easy to cope with because it's just in your imagination. Plus, it's an obvious first world problem. Things could be much worse. (Also a useful perspective when managing stress.) But when it's you in the arena, facing whatever problem, covered in dust and blood and sweat, working toward a new solution that just doesn't present itself yet, find a way to fill your lungs. Oxygen is important for your brain function. Emotional control is important for the people around you. Hold it together until the worst has passed and then keep on looking for the next step forward. 

The irony is, nearly everyone persists. Stories like mine, and thousands of others, are sort of redundant in the big scheme of things because people figure their stuff out in time regardless. My hope is that you remember your resources. Very few people give up and hide in their homes for the rest of their lives, afraid to take on challenges for fear of possible failure. I don't for a second, believe you're one of those people that give up. I believe you'll persist to live life in a grand way, day by day. But as you're doing it, journal the epic failures and the resources you need to navigate them. 

In my own journals I've discovered four resources:

One. Look for the silver lining early and at the very least, believe it's there even if you can't see it yet.

Two. Breathe, because the brain needs oxygen.

Three. Persist to find a solution. Don't give up even if it takes a day or two. People give up way too quickly. Don't be that person.

Four. When a solution finally presents itself, and the pressure is off, record everything and prepare next time, both emotionally and logistically. Prepare for outcomes you don't think can happen by journaling and role playing solutions for potential problems in the future. I don't just mean logistically sound solutions. I mean, practice emotional stability in the midst of the storm. I mean, practice what you learn on an energetic level, not just logistics.

What resources have you discovered? I hope you've written them down.

In conclusion... if you ask me what I believe about life, I believe you have to pour as much positive energy into any situation to give yourself and your circumstances a chance to shine. So whatever you're facing, and I truly believe this about you, you got this!

Comment below. We all love your feedback. 

Don Jessop, author of Leadership and Horses

PS: The cover photo is a school picture of me from 1988. My wife asked me recently if there is any part of myself I'd like to see more of and for my answer, I showed her this photo. I told her the look in my eyes is full of unbeatable determination, passion, softness and forgiveness, and playfulness, all wrapped up in one moment. That look lives on in me and daily, I often call those characteristics into action. Now, consciously, I bring that power forward, even more, especially in tough times. What's your superpower? Find it and hold it close. 

If you could travel through time, would you go forward or back?

Most horse-loving people want to go back in time because, somewhere in our DNA we scream cowboys and cowgirls, or some other version of nostalgic horse riding experiences. 

I've never met a rider who doesn't love the idea of relying on horsepower. Hopefully, we never have to again, but if we do, guess who's gonna be prepared? Yep. It's gonna be us horse owners with a passion for riding.  

Preparing for the day we need horsepower again isn't really a great reason to ride but... remembering where we came from is the best reason I can think of. It's often the memory of our past, our roots, that we intuitively know we must stay connected to. It's the love of the old west, the countryside, and the life and energy of nature. It's those things that call us to ride. 

So let's ride out together. Let's travel through time and remember how to escape screens and notifications and instant video. How do we do that? You might ask.  

Go see your horse. Time will slow down again and within minutes you'll find yourself connecting with an animal instead of a screen. 

The magic of being with horses' seeps into your heart. Take away the stress of winning the day and simply yield to the serenity of that big, brilliant animal breathing next to you or underneath you.

Thanks for reading. All comments are welcome. But specifically... I'd love to hear what you'd choose. Would you go back, or would you go forward? And why would you make that choice?

I'll be the first to say, I've looked around and noticed how others are doing better than me. That's normal by everyone's standards, but what happens next is a big, big, big deal. 

Option 1: Look around and notice how others are doing and be driven to do better yourself. We call this option... "Feeling inspired!"

Option 2: Look and notice how others are doing better than you and beat yourself up. We call this option... "Feeling not good enough!"

There is a third option, one rarely ever talked about but pretty important.

Option 3: Notice, celebrate their success, and move along in your happy go lucky life without any pressure to change, because you are content on your path. On top of that... you may see past the glamour of someone's success to the reality of the cost of that success and further be content with your path because, your path is healthy. 

Most people choose option 2. Why? Well, because most people are humans, and humans tend to look for reason not to do something rather than reasons to do it. Why? Because humans are avoidaholics by nature. It's a protection instinct. But nature doesn't have to rule the day. We are also capable of great things. Capable of options 1 or 3. Some people choose those positive outlooks naturally. Others, like myself, had to learn to choose those options. Focusing on those options requires energy, effort and practice. Settling with the limiting belief that you're "not good enough" is easy. TOO EASY. And very harmful for a productive life. 

Honestly, we could go on and on about why we choose to feel "not good enough." Let's focus instead on why we should choose to feel the opposite, and then... "how" to choose the opposite.

10 Reasons why you should feel good enough.

1. You're alive. Most people aren't any more. Take that one to heart.

2. You're struggling. What does struggling mean? It means you care. If you aren't struggling it means you aren't trying. If you aren't trying, you're dying.

3. You're better than you were before. No one goes backwards with practice (except golfers). And even they progress year to year in one way or another.

4. Because you bring to this world what no one else can. We are all unique. Don't forget that.

5. Success isn't measured on a standard scale. It looks different for everyone. So, on your own scale, not compared to others, you're doing great.

6. Negative self talk got you where? Oh yeah... nowhere! So, feeling good enough has a new positive charge that can get you somewhere great!

7. You're beautiful. If you don't believe me, you will. Practice hearing the truth and you will.

8. You're talented. I know you're talented because you're listening now. Most people these days struggle to read anything. It's all audio, video, etc. Look at you, focused all the way to step 8. That's raw talent! 😀

9. You're capable. Look how far you've come. Yeah, there's a lot more to go. But don't forget your beginnings.

10. You're not alone. Everyone feels alone until they listen to the hero's journey. Every hero struggled. Every hero doubted. Every hero practiced. Every hero broke through to a brighter future.

 Now we've got compelling reasons to feel "enough." Now let's jump into the "how" part of feeling good enough.

First, you've got to identify and change the quality of your "I am" statements. Stop haphazardly throwing around "I am not good enough." "I am alone." "I am a loser." "I am slow." "I am ugly." What's your list of negative I Am statements? If you don't know all the negative statements you speak regularly, journal. START RIGHT NOW! Journal your "I am" statements.

Here's an interesting personal fact... When I took the challenge to journal every "I am" statement that escaped my mouth for 24 hours. I noticed most of them were very negative. Only a few positive "I Ams," like "I am gonna get this done today." To think, I'm on a good track in my life with only a few good "I Ams." Imagine if I had more. So, I started changing my negatives to positives and guess what... I am more capable than ever before.

In the beginning I didn't believe it, but I practiced and started believing it more and more. And my experience, is normal. Most people willing to take the "I Am" challenge will soon realize their language is setting them up for failure, not success. Identify with positive language patterns. It's your best foot forward in this endeavor to feel good enough.

Next. Develop a healthy relationship with rejection. This means, hearing "no, not good enough, needs better, what's wrong with you, this won't cut it, etc. etc. etc." doesn't have to knock you down and send you back to level one every time. Some people learn to handle rejection. Guess which people learn this? The ones that practice handling it. Get together with someone you trust and practice responding progressively to the word "no." or the phrase, "not good enough." Combat the phrase with truth and energy. Combat with data and reinforced evidence. Combat with a cool head and calm demeanor because you know that believing limiting things about yourself is useless.

Watch for comparisons that don't serve and comparisons that do. In other words, don't always look up. Look sideways and down from time to time. You make more money than a lot of people. You're a better dancer than some who've practiced longer. You're better off than others, just look around. That's not to gloat. That's to build the muscle of gratitude. And feeling grateful for the gifts you have is one huge leap forward to feeling good enough. Realizing you're lucky by looking around and seeing how well off you are compared, is magic for the soul.

Last... go easy on yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day. 

Are you good enough?

-

YES! 

Good enough for what?

-

ANYTHING!

Especially, that thing that you're struggling with now. Whether it's your image, your family, your animals, your relationships, you name it. You are good enough! I've said it. Now you say it. Begin the journey of believing in your power and resilience instead.

Comment below. You know I love to hear your thoughts. 

Join our coaching program and get constant support because we know how important that "why" is (reasons to believe), and the "how" (strategy), but also the "who" is important. Who you spend time with greatly increases your chances of breaking past your limits.

We believe in you! Click here!

Your horse is too fresh to ride so what do you do?

Fly the kite. That's what you do!

Some people get tired of flying the kite, metaphorically speaking. They want a horse they can count on. Dealing with a fresh horse every day gets tiring and... wouldn't it just be nice if they didn't demand so much extra warmup from time to time?

I never tire of it, personally. In fact, you can always count on horses like this (a kite on a string) to entertain you. But... you do have to change your expectations. And you have to desire to meet me in this place. What I mean is, if you're set on riding then you'll always be annoyed by horses that need the extra warm-up. To meet me where I'm at in my career with horses, you'll have to let go of riding as your primary goal for your horse time. Make it a secondary outcome. Make the first outcome, simply enjoying the raw power of mother nature.

The term "go fly a kite" is a pleasant, childlike experience. If I've got a fresh horse, I love turning them loose to burn off some steam. I love getting the long rope out and watching them twist and dive on the thermals of internal excitement. To me, playing with a fresh horse makes me smile. I don't have to ride just yet and I don't want to diminish the experience of true horse time.  

Some people don't want a horse, they want a robot. I want a horse and that means he gets to be a horse part time and a partner the rest of the time.  I'll meet him in his world and he'll meet me in mine. That's true horsemanship if you ask me. 

Sure, there are boundaries, things you simply can't allow, like crowding you or tearing the rope from your hands, but don't get upset by anything else because that's the grand part of owning horses. Watching the horse in nature, it's beautiful. Participate on the ground and slowly guide the horse to calm down and find you as the leader again. I love it. I love horses. I love horse time. I love all of you who love it too.

So, in the simplest terms... enjoy the horse that shows up and don't expect anything else. You'll still get to ride. In the meantime, fly that kite with childlike enthusiasm, just like Marry Poppins suggested. 

Thanks for reading. See you all soon. 

Don Jessop

Remember to comment below!

And if you want help flying the kite join our Mastery coaching program. First call is free.

Click here!

Big bold statements like this can get me into trouble, but this kind of trouble leads to an important debate I intend to work through with you today.

Words have power. We can all agree on that at least. The word "expectation" has the power to destroy your relationships. Let's keep it civil here and only talk about horses, but feel free to transpose this experience to other areas in your life. 

This isn't the first time I've written about this.  Read more.  But I'm bringing it up again because we need repetition to master any subject. 

Today... I'm gonna jump right in with a big fat statement and then wind back through stories and antidotes to where it all makes sense.  

My big fat statement... "High expectations are dangerous. High standards are best. High hopes are fine."

A person who has high hopes may be disappointed by not getting what they want but in the back of their mind they knew it wasn't expected. It wasn't a certainty. And they adjust their emotional response to move ahead very quickly and without any problems, on to the next thing.

A person who has high standards won't be disappointed when something doesn't go as planned. They know the effort it takes to achieve great things. They have great empathy for anyone on the path of development toward new standards. Failure is inevitable and part of mastery. Failure is expected on the journey and success is inevitable.

A person with high expectations however, as opposed to high standards, is set up for deep, deep frustration.

"ALL FRUSTRATION COMES FROM UNMET EXPECTATIONS."

Why?...

If you expect something, it's because you believe blindly that nothing else will happen. Last year I worked for seven days straight with an agreement to get paid at the end.  I still haven't been paid. 

Should I be angry and frustrated by this? Your answer tells you whether or not you expected it or hoped for it. If I'm angry, that means I expected payment and I'm likely going to be very negative toward everyone until I get what I want. And if I never get it... I'm going to hold grudges.

If I didn't expect it, I may still be disappointed, that's natural. That means I'd hoped for better and didn't get it, but I know exactly where to focus next.

What should I do? What's the best mode of operation? Answer... except the failure in communication and raise my standards. Learn, grow, master the experience. 

Remember, words have power. Semantics are important. Unmet, expectations lead to frustration. Unmet hopes lead to disappointment, but also clarity. Unmet standards lead to empathy and a re-energized effort to meet your standard. 

Debate my wordplay if you like, I never shy away from wordplay. It's much better than swordplay. I'm open to your interpretation of phrases like "high expectations." We all grew up with slightly different models. The point I'm making is that, usually, high expectations lead to negative experiences for everyone. High standards lead to positive experiences for everyone. 

Experiment for yourself. See if it's true for you. You might think it's important to have high expectations. I'll just invite you to change the word to high standards. It's less blind to possible pitfalls. It's more open to error and growth. It keeps the blame for failure and progress in context of everything that's true instead of beating yourself up or the people around you for not already being perfect. 

If you don't believe me, show me where I'm missing the point. I'm open. You have marvelous life experiences to share to enrich my life. But give me evidence. Don't just tell me I'm wrong. Show me with stories and proof, because at this point, all the evidence points to this simple outlook... high expectations are dangerous. 

High hopes are fine. High standards win the cake and take the day. 

Just a few months ago I taught a horse lesson for an older woman here in Montana. She came to me because she was pissed off at her horse not behaving. I asked her why she was so angry. She replied with, "I've had this horse for years and he still has this same stupid problem." I smiled. I know this story well. I validated her experience because I've been there and then I said... "What did you expect?"

Our exchange lasted a few minutes and by the end she turned the corner, dropped her frustrations and mapped out the most obvious next goals. Which, ironically, were staring her in the face for years and she couldn't see them because her frustration blocked all her normal thinking processes. Frustration, that came from... you guessed it... high expectations. Blind certainty that it should be different than it is. In the end, she began a simple journey that had since taken her beyond those lingering problems and she's literally riding off into the sunset with confidence. I just received a nice note from her expressing her gratitude for catching her and boosting her past that emotional speedbump.

I hope her story sticks with you too. Thanks for reading. Apply to yourself and your horse experience and give me your feedback. I love hearing from you. 

Sincerely,

Don Jessop 

I often ask my students if they feel their horse is connected or disconnected. Depending on their level of experience, specifically, if they are new to horses, they usually get it wrong. Why is that? 

Well... you know me, I dug in deep. I wanted to know what I have to do to change how people see their horse and recognize whether or not, the horse sees them in return. And here is what I found...

I found our industry of horse instructors are teaching people to get responses from the horse. "Do X and get Y." But we are failing to help people really see the horse in the moment. I remember many years ago being handed a horse that knew the lay down trick on command. All you had to do was lean down, tap the ground, and the horse would lay down for you. My friend, the owner of the horse, and a brilliant animal trainer asked me if I'd like to try it.

I said, "Yes, I've never done that before." So, I stepped up near the horse, leaned over and started tapping the ground. My friend broke into laughter watching me tap the ground with my hand and get nothing from the horse. I turned to her and asked, "What am I doing wrong." Her reply stuck with me for the rest of my career, and I hope to make it stick for you too. 

She said, still giggling, "You have to get her to connect with you first, you can't just send a signal and expect a response. She's not even looking at you."

And that was it! I was doing the standard horse trainer thing. Ask for "x" and expect "y." Without really knowing whether my horse was paying attention or not. And from that day forward, I've never made the same mistake. Maybe it was her laughter that drove the message home. I must have felt slightly embarrassed. Either way, it changed me. It changed how I connected to all horses.  I don't ask my horse for anything without first asking if we are on the same page. 

So, what is that page? What is connection? 

Well, as hinted above, looking your way is a good starting point, at least while on the ground. A horse that isn't looking at you is most likely not very connected. It's not exclusively true, sometimes, horses choose to observe you from one eye and can prove to be quite connected. There may be a trust issue related to that, but the connection may be true.  

What else?... Well, if the horse is looking, you can test their response level by sending a subtle pre-signal, like setting the blinker before you turn, while driving your car. All maneuvers require a shift in balance for the horse. Ask for that shift instead of the whole maneuver. If you get a great response, you're probably connected enough to execute the task.

I'll never forget watching Ray Hunt (one of the old masters no longer with us) teaching a horse to backup while riding. He picked up the reins, and as he did, he asked the audience, rhetorically, if the horse was "ready" to back up. I had never considered that question. I remember watching him and thinking, "Sure, he's standing calm, go ahead and pull on the reins and get what you want." But he didn't do that. Instead, he just held the reins and waited. And waited. And waited. He kept saying, "he's not ready yet." Finally, the horse shifted his weight, flexed his neck slightly, and in that moment, Ray called out clearly, "Now he's ready." And at that moment he asked the horse to being backing. 

Again, the message sank in, and I've never been the same since. Connection is looking, it's also responding to subtle preparatory cues, and finally, it's remaining calm. I say calm, not because you can't be connected and excited. You can. But true connection demands mental clarity. If your horse is too excited, they'll jump at your signals but fail to respond to the next thing you ask because they are carrying on with their adrenalin. The excitement you want from a horse needs to come from their muscles, not their mind. Their mind, in order to be precise about what you want, must be relaxed. The horse must feel safe, with no need to escape or become defensive.

They also must not be too playful. I love play, I use it all the time with my horse. And during play sessions I don't demand full connection. We are like two kids on a playground doing show and tell but practicing independently in-between connected exchanges. There is nothing wrong with that, but it's not fully connected, just to be clear. Real connection demands total concentration on both parties.

This kind of connection is magical. It's rare when it comes organically, so you often have to work for it, and when you get it... well, you need to reward it. Honor it by not overdoing it. This is why most demonstrations, worldwide, are just a few minutes long. Twenty minutes is about tops for full concentrated connection without breaks. Even in those twenty minutes I infused dozens of rewards and mini recesses. 

One more thing, then I'll wrap this all up in a bow for you. We know what connection is, at least we should be a little clearer now, we can bring it back to the basics now. Connection is responsive, calm, and total awareness. We know we shouldn't demand connection for too long. We know we shouldn't ask for a task, without connection. We should always ask for small things, leading to bigger things. I just want to leave you with one more thing.

Most injuries are related to disconnection. Sure, fear, spooking, falling all happen, but disconnection came first. If I ask my horse to canter and he bucks instead. Why would he do that? It's simple. He bucked because I demanded the canter before he gave me the preparation for the canter, which caught him off guard and made him react negatively. If I'm riding through the forest and a deer pops on to the trail, causing my horse to spin and dump me. Why did he do that? His awareness dropped, leaving his attention to details low and causing him to prioritize his safety over our safety. A connected horse is more aware of the bigger picture and anticipates things like deer, or obscure sudden noises, etc. They can still spook, but they don't spin and dump you. Why don't they? Because the are connected to you and what you need from them. And this leaves us with one last thing. Whose job is it to stay connected?

Answer... both parties must stay connected, but it's your job to ensure it. Always try to be a step ahead. Anticipate potential pitfalls and navigate them with your horse. Don't expect connections, work for it, ALL THE TIME! Connection is not something you earn and forget about. It's something you hold, and let go, many times in a single session. But if you're clever, you'll see the value of holding and requiring connection from your horse. It will change the way you interact forever.

Thanks for reading. I'd love your comments as always. See you next week.

Don Jessop 

ALL people are sensitive. Sensitivity is what gives us life, art, music, dance, emotions, empathy, the list goes on. It allows us to dial into the heart. Don't deny you have those capabilities inside of you and that others do as well. Although it is often hard to see.

The levels of sensitivity we have, if they are dialed up too high, can cause unwanted responses or reactions. What we react to and how we react is different for everyone. For instance. I might react to a hurtful word or phrase, but you might react to my reaction. It doesn't matter what came first. 

So let's not point fingers at what causes sensitive reactions. The causes are numerous, from biochemical changes, to language, to the simple fact that people bump into each other, both physically and emotionally due to the function of being gregarious.

Instead of trying to mitigate all possible circumstances for reactivity, let's take a look at what to do when someone is sensitive and reactive. Let's start with a someone named YOU. Well... me actually. Always start with yourself.

When I am over-sensitive and maybe overreacting to something or someone there's a few things to consider.  First, I have to own it. I cannot point blame at anyone but myself. You are not responsible for my reactions. Every word that escapes my mouth originates from my mouth. You didn't make me do anything. You don't control my body's processes. I do. Can you influence me? Sure, if I let you, but can you control me? No! Only I get to do that. Therefore, no matter what happened first, no matter how justified, I must own that I am in charge of my response.

If I don't own my reactions, I will literally be a destructive force in all my relationships, whether I mean to or not. Think of the global effect this has. Imagine if no one owns their reactions... "Oof." The reason it's destructive is because it keeps me spinning in a negative place, helpless and victimized, and possibly, even promotes aggressive power plays to reclaim my position. 

But, when I own it, when I claim my own reactions as my own, regardless of what comes first or what triggers me, I own my personal power to change the world inside me and therefore, around me.  It changes everything because I am no longer the victim but the compassionate partner in any exchange.

Example.  Imagine I'm a horse trainer (Side note: I really am a horse trainer), and my horse reacts to a plastic bag blowing across the road while riding. Now... if I'm not practiced at owning my sensitivity, his reaction will spur me into a frenzy. I may become aggressive toward him, gaslighting him and making him feel stupid for having an experience, or I may become fearful and endanger myself by becoming rigid and ineffective. But... and this is the cool part, if I am aware of my reactions to my horse's reactions, with sensitivity, I will remain calm and help him feel validated for his experience and also remain fluid enough to navigate and lead the situation gracefully. 

Imagine if I could do that with people. Well. Ironically, this is why I'm writing about it. Its on the top of my mind a lot lately. And, as we speak now, I'm consciously practicing exactly this same mode of behavior with you and everyone I meet. I'm taking careful inventory of when I blame someone else for my reactions. I'm interrupting myself when I do. And then resetting my behavior to something more helpful. First, by validating it's OK to be sensitive and have an experience but then recognizing blaming gets me, and everyone else on the whole planet, exactly... no where!

My experiences of late have deeply enriched my life and happiness and compassion and communication with others. 

So now, in principle, we've conquered ourselves, (need more practice because we really just scratched the surface, wink wink). What about when someone else is too sensitive and reactive?

Answer... the same principles apply but there is one added thing. What are those principles for the sake of clarity?

1. Believe sensitivity is natural to everyone and it's okay to have experiences, right or wrong, helpful or not. Their reasons are real to them. Acknowledge this simple truth.

2. Don't blame anyone. Own your own reactions, without justification. And move on.

The added piece is when someone else is reactive and you can't seem to help them see past their justifications. They don't know about the principles or worse, refuse to believe them. So what's the added piece?

3. Elegantly walk through principles one and two with them. If you're truly calm, you will de-escalate them. If you remain unreactive, you can tell them it's okay to be sensitive or human or whatever words fit their language best, and kindly guide them to see how they control their bodily processes. They control their words, their responses to stimuli. No one else can do that.  (Remember... you MUST first be emotionally unmovable. Otherwise it will absolutely escalate the whole exchange.) Eventually the other person will cease to blame and regain their own calm, productive energy. 

Occasionally, and this is horrifying to witness, the person your helping will become very aggressive toward you. Forcing their blame firmly on everything but themselves. In this situation, you have two options. One: Leave. Let them find their own way forward with what support you've already given. If they are an essential part of your life, they will return with a clear head in time. Or two: Stay. For this you have to remain calm through out the entire exchange. You have to work on their energy, not their words, you have to see their pain and empathize but not take on any of their blame or judgment. You have to be able to pause, breathe, set boundaries, stay open, block without frustration, praise at the right time. Never making the other person feel invalid or unimportant. It's tricky if you stay. 

With a horse, I'm so practiced, I can help a reactive horse without becoming the slightest bit upset, never escalating the situation. I can be in the moment with out reacting negatively at all. Like the scene below where Danny Kay drinks from his cup while sword fighting. Totally neutral but still effective. 

But with a human... oh, that's harder for me. That's part of the reason I'm writing about it. Remember though... If I get upset, who is upsetting me? People, circumstances, or is it me? IT'S ME! I have to own my upset no matter what comes first. I don't control the triggers or influences, but I do control how I respond when I'm triggered. 

So, most people don't get super aggressive. Most people feel validated and drop the blame thing pretty quick if you interact with them in a positive way, following the principles. But just in case you meet the more assertive types, make sure you have the energy needed. When a horse gets rambunctious I need twenty minutes to help them settle. With a human, I might need two hours or even two days in extreme cases.

The time difference is all related my own practice level, my own ability to stay neutral and keep my energy in a good place, and of course, my tools. With a horse I have a halter and lead rope or bridle and saddle and no timelines. But with a human, I only have words and body language and many time pressures. It's like working with a mustang without any fences or ropes. It takes some finesse and patience if you're gonna pull it off. 

For the sake of practice... would you like to do a little with me now? This will be fun!

I'm going to run a few examples past you and see how you do.

Scene one: You're in traffic and get cutoff by Road Rage Randy. You feel yourself get irritated. What should you do next?

A. Race up on his tail, follow him home, then jump out of the car and have an altercation. Then, explain to the police officer how it was all his fault. 

B. Call your friend and describe how stupid people are and how you hate traffic.

C. Validate that Road Rage Randy must have some reason, not something you can relate to perhaps, but something is driving him crazy. Empathize with him. Believe it's okay to have an experience, his and yours. You might be shocked, even irritated, but you remind yourself that you choose your own experience. You are in control of you and you remain calm, cool, and generally undisturbed.

D. Realize, you're actually not paying attention because you're on your phone, causing everyone on the highway grief, and laugh off the whole thing, sending spiritual apologizes to Road Rage Randy.

Scene two: Your partner calls you fat.

A. Yell at them for being rude. Tell them they shouldn't say mean things and they are dumb. Make them feel horrible because they made you feel horrible. Use blame against them.

B. Shrink down, feel like a victim of verbal abuse, and go find a some soothing stimulus.

C. Validate the experience. Don't react negatively but embrace the fact they must have a reason to speak so bluntly. Maybe its some fear about their personal image or your health that’s driving their own psychology. Empathize and remain calm. Then choose to engage or disengage in the moment from that super self assured place. 

Scene three, last one: You have something you need to say but you're terrified about how the other person will react.

(First... if you're already terrified, you're not ready yet. Go do more work on you. You have to be 100% self assured and emotionally unmovable.)

A. You avoid telling them for fear of their response, so instead you plant impossibly invisible hints, hoping they will get it one day. 

B. You tell them. Then, if they react, tell them they shouldn't be reactive and make them feel dumb, crazy, and wrong. 

C. You prepare them for the news and preset the experience as best as you can. Then, when they do react, breathe, allow them to have their experience and slowly find their way forward. If they are necessary in your life, they will come back. If not. It's all for the best. No stress on you regardless, because you are emotional whole and capable of all outcomes.

I'm sure you found the right answer playfully set up for you there.  Now join me on a daily practice of handling sensitivity and reactivity. Pay attention. Be more aware of when you're triggered. When you've mastered yourself, begin helping others. 

Notes:  The word "triggered" can be a negative word for some people. I hope to use it plainly to describe a simple human experience, like the word spooked, or surprised.

And finally... as an analogy, there are two types of horse trainers. One is far superior. They are: The trainer that guides the horse to be non-reactive to the stimulus at hand. And the other, is the trainer that guides the horse to be non-reactive to ALL things using the stimulus at hand.

For example. The first trainer will rub the plastic bag all over the horse until he no longer cares. But then... an umbrella shows up and the horse reacts poorly again because it's different. Now the trainer has to reinvent the wheel for every new object.

Whereas... the better trainer will begin with the bag, but every time the horse moves his feet, will also correct the horse to start back at square one. Direct them to not move about, but stand their ground under pressure. For this horse, if he learns it well, when the umbrella comes out, or any object, the horse doesn't react poorly. He's already learned how to handle himself when in tough situations.

The point is... many people diagnose triggers and then either avoid them or work through them one by one. It's okay to do that, but also consider you don't have to look for all your triggers. Take any single experience and train yourself to become a better leader for yourself and others using the principles above so that it crosses over into everything. 

In the end you will be an expert at handling sensitive and reactive people, starting with you. And wouldn't that be nice? 😀

Thanks for reading. 

Comment below and share with your friends.

To your success,

Don Jessop

Horses are obviously important to you. I bet you even have more than one and if you don't, you're planning on getting more than one. But last year, looking back, you might realize you didn't spend the time you'd hoped doing what you love.  Why is that? 

Now I know I'm not speaking for everyone. Lots of people got their horse time in. If that's you, FANTASTIC! If it's not you. Read on dear friend. 

Owning a horse sounds magical. And it is, but only if you get to enjoy them. Otherwise, they are opposite of magical. They are a chore. Nobody bought a horse to have more chores. So why didn't last year pan out the way you'd hoped? And more importantly... WHY IS THIS YEAR DIFFERENT?

I'll tell you. See if you agree. Last year you were too busy, too scared, too tired, too lonely, or the weather didn't cooperate for long enough. 

So, I'm gonna speak to each of these and see if we can make this year COMPLETELY different. 

Too busy:

Normal... but lame excuse. Everyone is too busy. Life costs money, money requires people, people require your energy, hence... busy. I know lots of busy people that still get their horse time because they schedule time for it. So, if you truly were too busy, it's time to bring out your calendar and your eraser to reinvent this year. But chances are if you're balking at this one, it's because you're not too busy. It's something else.

Too scared:

This is the hidden excuse. Also, normal but totally overrated. Fear in horses causes them to run away or freeze, preventing forward movement. Same with people. Fear makes you freeze. It prevents you from pulling your saddle off the rack. But this excuse is waaaaay overrated because it's built on false ideas of what progress is. Too many people think progress is riding. I did an eyes closed experiment recently with my students and asked them to write down the first thought they had about horses. EVERY SINGLE ONE described riding their horse either on a trail with friends or cantering in open spaces. No wonder they are afraid. Those are two of the scariest things to do with horses and we all intuitively know why. 

When horses group up their energy levels elevate. You have to be competent to manage that. And if you've ever opened the gate to turn out your horses into a new space, you've seen what they do. They go crazy enjoying the open space for a few minutes. It takes a competent rider to manage that too. With those two images, group riding and cantering in open spaces, it's obvious to me why you'd be scared to spend horse time. Lots of people avoid horse altogether as a result or stick to super basic chores and grooming. 

But... there is something else you could do. You could change your picture of progress. Put the dream of cantering and riding off into the sunset back on the dream shelf where you can see it but don't need it to be a reality yet. You've made it an expectation instead of a direction. That's not fair to your progress. It causes you to freeze and feel bad for not doing more with your horse. Of course, it's not fair for your horse either.  My new book, "Beginners Guide To Foundation Horse Training" describes in detail steps you can take to realize progress. Change your expectations and follow the syllabus in that book and never experience being too scared again. 

Too tired:

Energy begets energy. At some point you have to stop the cycle of energy destruction and start the cycle of charging the battery. So, what zaps your energy? Certain foods, sugar, negative people that you keep going to? Joint pain? Get to the bottom of it. And start recharging with exercise, free movement, and even riding. Did you know riding will boost your energy not rob it. If fear prevents you from riding and it's not about being tired, then mitigate the fear. We can help but if it's about energy, there are things you can do. You already know them. Drink more water. Stretch. Avoid toxic things and people. And remember the feeling you get riding. It's amazing! 

Too lonely:

One major excuse people have for not riding or being with their horse is they don't have someone to share it with. They say, "why ride if you have to do it alone." But hey... it's time to stop using this excuse because you ARE with someone. A beautiful four legged fury critter that has a heart, curious emotions, playful spunk, and more. BE with them. BE present. SHARE with them. Be in the moment. It's magic. Stay safe and carry tools to communicate with the outside world but in the horse space, your horse space, just be with your amazing partner. 

Bad weather:

Really, do we really need to bring this one up? I know many people who aren't hindered by bad weather. The truth is, you need to decide just how important your horse time is, because if this one's holding you up, you're lacking imagination. There are so many things to do on hot days, cold days, windy days. I mean you don't have to be out there every day, but... if you're not out there any days you're stuck in a rut and blaming the weather. Sail out of it and take advantage of bad weather days to get the slow stuff going. You know... all the lateral work, slow flexion work, and desensitization. 

In summary... whatever excuses you have been they are obviously valid, for you. But being valid doesn't make them useful. In my dresser drawer I have a validation ticket from an event I went to years ago. Do you think it will get me in the door again today? Um. NO! Maybe it's time to forget about validations and focus on the positive side of your future. What do you want today? This month? This year? Then... whenever the old limitations knock at your mind, you remind yourself, repetitively, like training a horse, that those things won't help you, and you focus on what will instead. 

We can help you! We have the resources to give you motivation, clarity, confidence. All just one phone call away. Try it. See for yourself. 

Link to calendly 

Comment below, share with your friends, and make this year amazing.

Recently, while discussing next steps with a friend, all about her and her horse, we discovered a simple and exciting model that helps us understand our goals related to trail riding. I never claim to make this stuff up, it often comes with inspiration from my amazing coaching students. Thank you Tina!

In this progressive model, there are four goals related to trail riding. Start with identifying which goal you're working on. Where are you at? Be realistic. Then, take a hard look at the next goal up the list and get to work on making it a reality for you and your horse.

Many, many riders are stuck at the "just hanging on" stage of trail riding. They are completely dependent on other riders to make sure the ride goes well. If another horse gets upset, it's "all over red rover" for them. They need a strong lead horse that always keeps things in hand. If you're stuck at this stage, don't worry, there is hope for you yet.

The next stage in trail riding development is what I call the "tagalong" rider. Tagalong riders are still dependent on having a good rider and horse leading the trail but in general they are more competent. If something goes wrong, they manage to get through it. Their horse doesn't get too upset by the others, and they, themselves, also don't get too upset. They aren't leading anything yet, they don't have the confidence or control for taking over, but they aren't upset and they're easy going for the other riders because their horse is calm and collected enough not to buy into everything else.

The next step after "tagalong" is "choose the track" riders. These riders are confident their horses will respond to new tracks, unknown situations, and confidently lead into the fray, so to speak. Oh sure..., their horse might question it a bit, but they know their horse's limits and work to expand them regularly. Getting to this stage is a big leap in your confidence as a rider. As an instructor, I love it when my riders reach this level. Trail riding becomes waaaaaaaaay more fun. We get to explore for the first time, trusting each other and testing new terrain. 

The last step is what I call the "helpful rider." Becoming a helpful rider means your horse is not only competent and confident, they are also useful in sticky situations. It means you can now manage a group of "tagalongs" or even "just hanging in there's." It means you can step in and hold another horse, side pass to open a gait. Step in front of another horse to arrest his forward movement. Slow down the pace, or speed it up, all based on any single person's, or even multiple person's needs on that ride. The helpful rider is the most skilled, they are the most capable. He or she can wander off in any direction at any time, and even get left behind, and their horse doesn't get upset or herd bound. He or she can lead another horse or string of horses and mules. He or she can forge a river, climb up and down steep embankments, or... just stand calmly at your side while you fiddle with your saddle and tack or work to calm another's horse. There are no limits to the helpful rider. 

So first... Identify where you are on the map. Are you at the beginning, just hanging on? Or somewhere in the middle? Or do you truly feel you can be a helpful rider on the trail? Then, take a look at what it takes to move up the list.

Here's a few suggestions:

More exposure! Don't wait till your horse grows up, get out there every chance you get. Walk the trails on foot, you don't have to be in the saddle to educate your horse. Take the 100 mile challenge and hand-walk your horse for a month or two on trails, then notice how much easier it is to ride.

Then slowly, start to develop your independence as a rider. Ride out to treats to develop your ability to ride alone. What I mean, is take a bag of apples out into the forest, place an apple in ten different places, each one stretching you further away from the barn or comfort zone. Stop to treat your horse at each station. Do that for a month and watch how your horse transforms into the explorer instead of the meek, herd bound, prey animal we all know. Trust me, it works. I've taken scared horses and turned them into war horses using this technique alone.

At a certain point you'll feel so confident you're ready to advance again. Learn to ride with a flag to develop your horse's confidence under pressure. Horses naturally suck at handling stimulus. Well... guess which horses suck less? The ones that are trained to ride with a flag. There is so much value in riding with a flag I'm not sure why it's not promoted more. Any flag will do to start. Try tying a bag to the end of the stick, order a new horsemanship flag online, bring out your country flag, you name it. Add stimulus that truly builds your horses confidence over time. 

Finally, to ensure you reach that last level of competent trail riders, 10X your lateral work and speed control (meaning practice times ten) to gain finer, micromovements necessary to help another rider, for instance, sidling up to another rider to grab their horse's attention, or slowing the pace, or opening and closing a gait. There are dozens of scenarios where having the ability to slow or speed up or hold, or side pass into or away from, would make you and your horse unbelievably useful. 

And for you... build your own body control by practicing small jumps on your horses. Jumping riders are the most competent riders. So regularly practicing small jumps will enhance your confidence immensely. (More on that in another article.)

So here it is again: 

Assign yourself a realistic current position relative to the four goals. 

Define your next practical items to work on to take yourself to the next level. 

And have some fun while you're doing it, because horses are meant to give us a life we dream of. Lets help that work in our favor by giving them our best too.

Here's to the journey!

Don Jessop

I've gone under fire recently from a few of my colleagues about trick training. I keep hearing and have been hearing for years from certain groups across the horse industry that trick training is bad or wrong. That you shouldn't do it.  Just so we are on the same page, trick training is usually defined as signal, response, reward training with repetition as opposed to constant subtle communication with your aids for specific tasks. Example: rearing, bowing, sitting, Spanish walk, etc.

Well.... guess what? It's a narrow lense to view horse training as one type is better.  I LOVE trick training and I'll tell you why. But first I have to tell you why some people don't love it. 

One reason some people don't love trick training is because horses that learn tricks can also learn to use them against you. For instance, if you teach a horse to rear, they can rear when you don't want them to, causing unwanted risk. Or if you teach them to lay down, they might try it while the farrier is holding their foot.  You get the point. There is risk in trick training. 

Another reason people don't love trick training is because the horse that learns tricks often fails to understand finesse based communication. In other words, asking for half passes (laterally passing from one point to another with very specific foot work and flexion) requires a dialogue between horse and rider with flexible amounts of pressure and timing and feel. Tricks are signal based communication. And what I mean by that is... you send a signal, the horse responds, you give a reward. Finesse based communication is more like holding a signal until a desired result. Think of it like holding the gas pedal down to keep driving forward in your car. You don't just push it once and the car carries on without further input. You keep a constant conversation between your foot and the car's wheels. Trick training would be like pushing the gas pedal once and the car drives itself. It's just too simplistic for some trainers. It's too basic for complicated, dynamic interactions between hands, feet, legs, flexion, the bit, the saddle, etc. 

So now we understand why some folks don't like it. Let's go a little deeper and try to understand why we should value trick training. Because, I believe, and the more you to know me you will feel this..., I believe there is value in both using tricks AND using finesse based communication. It's not a "one is better than the other" game we should play. It's a "both are valuable at different times" game we should play.

So, what's the value of tricks?

For one, tricks change the way horses think. Literally. The brain's wiring shifts when they see rewards relative to responding to certain signals.  Tricks, if done right, can literally calm the brain and focus the brain. Finesse riding can too, if done right, but in different ways. Trick training can bring happiness to the brain because it often involves massive positive reinforcement. This allows for the brain to anticipate rewards and put effort into behaviors more organically. 

But there's another reason to train tricks. They are FUN!!!  People love them as much as horses. I get a real kick out of seeing my horse lay down or rear up or march on cue or stand on a pedestal on cue. It's a huge crowd pleaser too. People go gaga for tricks because they inspire the imagination.  They help us dream a little.

So... horses love them, people love them, they are fun, creative and easier than you might have ever thought. (More on that later.) We should definitely make trick training part of our repertoire. We need to learn to do it right so horses don't carry emotional baggage into the trick. (More on that later too). But... we need to also keep our minds open to why tricks are problematic. We all have our stories to tell so let's learn from each other and embrace the value of tricks and other styles of training.

The irony in all this is that trick training and finesse training are actually quite similar. They both require feel, timing, repetition, skills built upon layers that start at the smallest level. In a way... all horse training is trick training. It's conditioning the horse to respond to signals. Trick training just gets a bad rap because lesser skilled trick trainers miss the value of guiding the horse to the right mindset and posture. But the better you get at understanding all of this the better you serve your horse and the horse industry as a whole. 

Thanks for reading. Love your comments and thoughts.

Have a great day.

Don Jessop

All horse lovers have a dream of riding off into the sunset or something like that. Most of us had those dreams realized at a young age when mom, or pop, or Uncle Ben's let us ride for the first time and then, eventually, helps us get our first horse. Then, with a little luck, we continue to have these amazing horse experiences throughout our life. Some of us end up getting more than one horse, and throughout our life we might train and ride a dozen or so different horses.  

But occasionally... one horse shows up in our life and changes us at our core. 

My horse was Frontier. A brown and white paint horse that questioned everything I asked of him. He taught me about finesse, how to ask with kindness for the things I wanted. He taught me the importance of grace. Grace is giving that time for a horse to respond to you. A graceless rider or trainer asks and demands without any delay. A graceful rider asks and waits for the horse to get his ducks in a row and execute the plan with elegance. Frontier taught me all about grace and patience. 

If I didn't allow enough time for him to respond to my cues, if I didn't ready him right and just told him what I wanted, he'd let me know. Usually with some kind of bucking blow-up! His bucks were so extreme, I'd inevitably fall, only to watch him buck around without me for another thirty seconds. He had a hair trigger. The amazing irony is that when he was solid, when his mental faculties were at their best, we could do anything. He forced me not to assume things would always be the same, because I'd have one good day and the next would be horrific. I met a famous horse trainer named Ray Hunt once that talked about his life changing horse. The one that would either win the show or send you to the hospital. He'd laugh when he told the story because he spoke of the horse with fondness. Now I laugh, because that was Frontier to a T. I miss that horse dearly, in spite of our ups and downs and the concussions I received while learning. But one thing is clear. I became a different trainer after him. I became aware of the horse like no-one else. 

I began to see the little things, things nobody could sense. Now I can hear the breath change, feel it change. I can feel the electricity change and the muscles tighten in places you wouldn't think to look. I can sense excitement before the horse had any visible signs of excitement. As a result, the way I request things change. I don't blast a cue and demand a response. I feel for his attention and connection in every request. I "whisper to the horse" as they say. And I listen to his whispers too. I can't help myself. I do this with every horse I meet now because that horse changed me. All my horses have changed me and all the horses I meet in my clinics change me. But that horse was the catalyst. Without him I wouldn't feel for the horse Iike I do now. 

Now I could have given up. I mean I didn't know what to do to solve it. And professionals better than I had tried with him already. I was naïve enough think I had what it took to get through to him. At first, I didn't. But I kept my mind open and I learned more from him than any other horse. I'm grateful for him and I encourage all my students and friends to be grateful for their challenging horse situations. Embrace the challenge. Be the leader for your horse but never forget... He or she... is the teacher. You are the leader, they are the teacher. We have horses for a reason, and it's not always just for fun. It's also for learning about ourselves. How we act, and react. How we lead and follow. How we love and communicate. It's all part of the big picture.

Now I want to ask you to go down memory lane with me. For some of you, you wont have to go far because you might own the horse right now. Here's the question: Who was your life changing horse? Comment below. Tell us his name and give us a glimpse into how he or she has changed you at your core!