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Your horse is too fresh to ride so what do you do?

Fly the kite. That's what you do!

Some people get tired of flying the kite, metaphorically speaking. They want a horse they can count on. Dealing with a fresh horse every day gets tiring and... wouldn't it just be nice if they didn't demand so much extra warmup from time to time?

I never tire of it, personally. In fact, you can always count on horses like this (a kite on a string) to entertain you. But... you do have to change your expectations and you have to desire to meet me in this place. What I mean is, if you're set on riding then you'll always be annoyed by horses that need the extra warm-up. To meet me where I'm at in my career with horses, you'll have to let go of riding as your primary goal for your horse time. Make it a secondary outcome. Make the first outcome, simply enjoying the raw power of mother nature.

The term "go fly a kite" is a pleasant, childlike experience. If I've got a fresh horse, I love turning them loose to burn off some steam. I love getting the long rope out and watching them twist and dive on the thermals of internal excitement. To me, playing with a fresh horse makes me smile. I don't have to ride just yet and I don't want to diminish the experience of true horse time.  

Some people don't want a horse, they want a robot. I want a horse and that means he gets to be a horse part time and a partner the rest of the time.  I'll meet him in his world and he'll meet me in mine. That's true horsemanship if you ask me. 

Sure, there are boundaries, things you simply can't allow, like crowding you or tearing the rope from your hands, but don't get upset by anything else because that's the grand part of owning horses. Watching the horse in nature, it's beautiful. Participate on the ground and slowly guide the horse to calm down and find you as the leader again. I love it. I love horses. I love horse time. I love all of you who love it too.

So, in the simplest terms... enjoy the horse that shows up and don't expect anything else. You'll still get to ride. In the meantime, fly that kite with childlike enthusiasm, just like Marry Poppins suggested. 

Thanks for reading. See you all soon. 

Don Jessop

Big bold statements like this can get me into trouble, but this kind of trouble leads to an important debate I intend to work through with you today.

Words have power. We can all agree on that at least. The word "expectation" has the power to destroy your relationships. Let's keep it civil here and only talk about horses, but feel free to transpose this experience to other areas in your life. 

This isn't the first time I've written about this.  Read more.  But I'm bringing it up again because we need repetition to master any subject. 

Today... I'm gonna jump right in with a big fat statement and then wind back through stories and antidotes to where it all makes sense.  

My big fat statement... "High expectations are dangerous. High standards are best. High hopes are fine."

A person who has high hopes may be disappointed by not getting what they want but in the back of their mind they knew it wasn't expected. It wasn't a certainty. And they adjust their emotional response to move ahead very quickly and without any problems, on to the next thing.

A person who has high standards won't be disappointed when something doesn't go as planned. They know the effort it takes to achieve great things. They have great empathy for anyone on the path of development toward new standards. Failure is inevitable and part of mastery. Failure is expected on the journey and success is inevitable.

A person with high expectations however, as opposed to high standards, is set up for deep, deep frustration.

"ALL FRUSTRATION COMES FROM UNMET EXPECTATIONS."

Why?...

If you expect something, it's because you believe blindly that nothing else will happen. Last year I worked for seven days straight with an agreement to get paid at the end.  I still haven't been paid. 

Should I be angry and frustrated by this? Your answer tells you whether or not you expected it or hoped for it. If I'm angry, that means I expected payment and I'm likely going to be very negative toward everyone until I get what I want. And if I never get it... I'm going to hold grudges.

If I didn't expect it, I may still be disappointed, that's natural. That means I'd hoped for better and didn't get it, but I know exactly where to focus next.

What should I do? What's the best mode of operation? Answer... except the failure in communication and raise my standards. Learn, grow, master the experience. 

Remember, words have power. Semantics are important. Unmet, expectations lead to frustration. Unmet hopes lead to disappointment, but also clarity. Unmet standards lead to empathy and a re-energized effort to meet your standard. 

Debate my wordplay if you like, I never shy away from wordplay. It's much better than swordplay. I'm open to your interpretation of phrases like "high expectations." We all grew up with slightly different models. The point I'm making is that, usually, high expectations lead to negative experiences for everyone. High standards lead to positive experiences for everyone. 

Experiment for yourself. See if it's true for you. You might think it's important to have high expectations. I'll just invite you to change the word to high standards. It's less blind to possible pitfalls. It's more open to error and growth. It keeps the blame for failure and progress in context of everything that's true instead of beating yourself up or the people around you for not already being perfect. 

If you don't believe me, show me where I'm missing the point. I'm open. You have marvelous life experiences to share to enrich my life. But give me evidence. Don't just tell me I'm wrong. Show me with stories and proof, because at this point, all the evidence points to this simple outlook... high expectations are dangerous. 

High hopes are fine. High standards win the cake and take the day. 

Just a few months ago I taught a horse lesson for an older woman here in Montana. She came to me because she was pissed off at her horse not behaving. I asked her why she was so angry. She replied with, "I've had this horse for years and he still has this same stupid problem." I smiled. I know this story well. I validated her experience because I've been there and then I said... "What did you expect?"

Our exchange lasted a few minutes and by the end she turned the corner, dropped her frustrations and mapped out the most obvious next goals. Which, ironically, were staring her in the face for years and she couldn't see them because her frustration blocked all her normal thinking processes. Frustration, that came from... you guessed it... high expectations. Blind certainty that it should be different than it is. In the end, she began a simple journey that had since taken her beyond those lingering problems and she's literally riding off into the sunset with confidence. I just received a nice note from her expressing her gratitude for catching her and boosting her past that emotional speedbump.

I hope her story sticks with you too. Thanks for reading. Apply to yourself and your horse experience and give me your feedback. I love hearing from you. 

Sincerely,

Don Jessop 

I often ask my students if they feel their horse is connected or disconnected. Depending on their level of experience, specifically, if they are new to horses, they usually get it wrong. Why is that? 

Well... you know me, I dug in deep. I wanted to know what I have to do to change how people see their horse and recognize whether or not, the horse sees them in return. And here is what I found...

I found our industry of horse instructors are teaching people to get responses from the horse. "Do X and get Y." But we are failing to help people really see the horse in the moment. I remember many years ago being handed a horse that knew the lay down trick on command. All you had to do was lean down, tap the ground, and the horse would lay down for you. My friend, the owner of the horse, and a brilliant animal trainer asked me if I'd like to try it.

I said, "Yes, I've never done that before." So, I stepped up near the horse, leaned over and started tapping the ground. My friend broke into laughter watching me tap the ground with my hand and get nothing from the horse. I turned to her and asked, "What am I doing wrong." Her reply stuck with me for the rest of my career, and I hope to make it stick for you too. 

She said, still giggling, "You have to get her to connect with you first, you can't just send a signal and expect a response. She's not even looking at you."

And that was it! I was doing the standard horse trainer thing. Ask for "x" and expect "y." Without really knowing whether my horse was paying attention or not. And from that day forward, I've never made the same mistake. Maybe it was her laughter that drove the message home. I must have felt slightly embarrassed. Either way, it changed me. It changed how I connected to all horses.  I don't ask my horse for anything without first asking if we are on the same page. 

So, what is that page? What is connection? 

Well, as hinted above, looking your way is a good starting point, at least while on the ground. A horse that isn't looking at you is most likely not very connected. It's not exclusively true, sometimes, horses choose to observe you from one eye and can prove to be quite connected. There may be a trust issue related to that, but the connection may be true.  

What else?... Well, if the horse is looking, you can test their response level by sending a subtle pre-signal, like setting the blinker before you turn, while driving your car. All maneuvers require a shift in balance for the horse. Ask for that shift instead of the whole maneuver. If you get a great response, you're probably connected enough to execute the task.

I'll never forget watching Ray Hunt (one of the old masters no longer with us) teaching a horse to backup while riding. He picked up the reins, and as he did, he asked the audience, rhetorically, if the horse was "ready" to back up. I had never considered that question. I remember watching him and thinking, "Sure, he's standing calm, go ahead and pull on the reins and get what you want." But he didn't do that. Instead, he just held the reins and waited. And waited. And waited. He kept saying, "he's not ready yet." Finally, the horse shifted his weight, flexed his neck slightly, and in that moment, Ray called out clearly, "Now he's ready." And at that moment he asked the horse to being backing. 

Again, the message sank in, and I've never been the same since. Connection is looking, it's also responding to subtle preparatory cues, and finally, it's remaining calm. I say calm, not because you can't be connected and excited. You can. But true connection demands mental clarity. If your horse is too excited, they'll jump at your signals but fail to respond to the next thing you ask because they are carrying on with their adrenalin. The excitement you want from a horse needs to come from their muscles, not their mind. Their mind, in order to be precise about what you want, must be relaxed. The horse must feel safe, with no need to escape or become defensive.

They also must not be too playful. I love play, I use it all the time with my horse. And during play sessions I don't demand full connection. We are like two kids on a playground doing show and tell but practicing independently in-between connected exchanges. There is nothing wrong with that, but it's not fully connected, just to be clear. Real connection demands total concentration on both parties.

This kind of connection is magical. It's rare when it comes organically, so you often have to work for it, and when you get it... well, you need to reward it. Honor it by not overdoing it. This is why most demonstrations, worldwide, are just a few minutes long. Twenty minutes is about tops for full concentrated connection without breaks. Even in those twenty minutes I infused dozens of rewards and mini recesses. 

One more thing, then I'll wrap this all up in a bow for you. We know what connection is, at least we should be a little clearer now, we can bring it back to the basics now. Connection is responsive, calm, and total awareness. We know we shouldn't demand connection for too long. We know we shouldn't ask for a task, without connection. We should always ask for small things, leading to bigger things. I just want to leave you with one more thing.

Most injuries are related to disconnection. Sure, fear, spooking, falling all happen, but disconnection came first. If I ask my horse to canter and he bucks instead. Why would he do that? It's simple. He bucked because I demanded the canter before he gave me the preparation for the canter, which caught him off guard and made him react negatively. If I'm riding through the forest and a deer pops on to the trail, causing my horse to spin and dump me. Why did he do that? His awareness dropped, leaving his attention to details low and causing him to prioritize his safety over our safety. A connected horse is more aware of the bigger picture and anticipates things like deer, or obscure sudden noises, etc. They can still spook, but they don't spin and dump you. Why don't they? Because the are connected to you and what you need from them. And this leaves us with one last thing. Whose job is it to stay connected?

Answer... both parties must stay connected, but it's your job to ensure it. Always try to be a step ahead. Anticipate potential pitfalls and navigate them with your horse. Don't expect connections, work for it, ALL THE TIME! Connection is not something you earn and forget about. It's something you hold, and let go, many times in a single session. But if you're clever, you'll see the value of holding and requiring connection from your horse. It will change the way you interact forever.

Thanks for reading. I'd love your comments as always. See you next week.

Don Jessop 

ALL people are sensitive. Sensitivity is what gives us life, art, music, dance, emotions, empathy, the list goes on. It allows us to dial into the heart. Don't deny you have those capabilities inside of you and that others do as well. Although it is often hard to see.

The levels of sensitivity we have, if they are dialed up too high, can cause unwanted responses or reactions. What we react to and how we react is different for everyone. For instance. I might react to a hurtful word or phrase, but you might react to my reaction. It doesn't matter what came first. 

So let's not point fingers at what causes sensitive reactions. The causes are numerous, from biochemical changes, to language, to the simple fact that people bump into each other, both physically and emotionally due to the function of being gregarious.

Instead of trying to mitigate all possible circumstances for reactivity, let's take a look at what to do when someone is sensitive and reactive. Let's start with a someone named YOU. Well... me actually. Always start with yourself.

When I am over-sensitive and maybe overreacting to something or someone there's a few things to consider.  First, I have to own it. I cannot point blame at anyone but myself. You are not responsible for my reactions. Every word that escapes my mouth originates from my mouth. You didn't make me do anything. You don't control my body's processes. I do. Can you influence me? Sure, if I let you, but can you control me? No! Only I get to do that. Therefore, no matter what happened first, no matter how justified, I must own that I am in charge of my response.

If I don't own my reactions, I will literally be a destructive force in all my relationships, whether I mean to or not. Think of the global effect this has. Imagine if no one owns their reactions... "Oof." The reason it's destructive is because it keeps me spinning in a negative place, helpless and victimized, and possibly, even promotes aggressive power plays to reclaim my position. 

But, when I own it, when I claim my own reactions as my own, regardless of what comes first or what triggers me, I own my personal power to change the world inside me and therefore, around me.  It changes everything because I am no longer the victim but the compassionate partner in any exchange.

Example.  Imagine I'm a horse trainer (Side note: I really am a horse trainer), and my horse reacts to a plastic bag blowing across the road while riding. Now... if I'm not practiced at owning my sensitivity, his reaction will spur me into a frenzy. I may become aggressive toward him, gaslighting him and making him feel stupid for having an experience, or I may become fearful and endanger myself by becoming rigid and ineffective. But... and this is the cool part, if I am aware of my reactions to my horse's reactions, with sensitivity, I will remain calm and help him feel validated for his experience and also remain fluid enough to navigate and lead the situation gracefully. 

Imagine if I could do that with people. Well. Ironically, this is why I'm writing about it. Its on the top of my mind a lot lately. And, as we speak now, I'm consciously practicing exactly this same mode of behavior with you and everyone I meet. I'm taking careful inventory of when I blame someone else for my reactions. I'm interrupting myself when I do. And then resetting my behavior to something more helpful. First, by validating it's OK to be sensitive and have an experience but then recognizing blaming gets me, and everyone else on the whole planet, exactly... no where!

My experiences of late have deeply enriched my life and happiness and compassion and communication with others. 

So now, in principle, we've conquered ourselves, (need more practice because we really just scratched the surface, wink wink). What about when someone else is too sensitive and reactive?

Answer... the same principles apply but there is one added thing. What are those principles for the sake of clarity?

1. Believe sensitivity is natural to everyone and it's okay to have experiences, right or wrong, helpful or not. Their reasons are real to them. Acknowledge this simple truth.

2. Don't blame anyone. Own your own reactions, without justification. And move on.

The added piece is when someone else is reactive and you can't seem to help them see past their justifications. They don't know about the principles or worse, refuse to believe them. So what's the added piece?

3. Elegantly walk through principles one and two with them. If you're truly calm, you will de-escalate them. If you remain unreactive, you can tell them it's okay to be sensitive or human or whatever words fit their language best, and kindly guide them to see how they control their bodily processes. They control their words, their responses to stimuli. No one else can do that.  (Remember... you MUST first be emotionally unmovable. Otherwise it will absolutely escalate the whole exchange.) Eventually the other person will cease to blame and regain their own calm, productive energy. 

Occasionally, and this is horrifying to witness, the person your helping will become very aggressive toward you. Forcing their blame firmly on everything but themselves. In this situation, you have two options. One: Leave. Let them find their own way forward with what support you've already given. If they are an essential part of your life, they will return with a clear head in time. Or two: Stay. For this you have to remain calm through out the entire exchange. You have to work on their energy, not their words, you have to see their pain and empathize but not take on any of their blame or judgment. You have to be able to pause, breathe, set boundaries, stay open, block without frustration, praise at the right time. Never making the other person feel invalid or unimportant. It's tricky if you stay. 

With a horse, I'm so practiced, I can help a reactive horse without becoming the slightest bit upset, never escalating the situation. I can be in the moment with out reacting negatively at all. Like the scene below where Danny Kay drinks from his cup while sword fighting. Totally neutral but still effective. 

But with a human... oh, that's harder for me. That's part of the reason I'm writing about it. Remember though... If I get upset, who is upsetting me? People, circumstances, or is it me? IT'S ME! I have to own my upset no matter what comes first. I don't control the triggers or influences, but I do control how I respond when I'm triggered. 

So, most people don't get super aggressive. Most people feel validated and drop the blame thing pretty quick if you interact with them in a positive way, following the principles. But just in case you meet the more assertive types, make sure you have the energy needed. When a horse gets rambunctious I need twenty minutes to help them settle. With a human, I might need two hours or even two days in extreme cases.

The time difference is all related my own practice level, my own ability to stay neutral and keep my energy in a good place, and of course, my tools. With a horse I have a halter and lead rope or bridle and saddle and no timelines. But with a human, I only have words and body language and many time pressures. It's like working with a mustang without any fences or ropes. It takes some finesse and patience if you're gonna pull it off. 

For the sake of practice... would you like to do a little with me now? This will be fun!

I'm going to run a few examples past you and see how you do.

Scene one: You're in traffic and get cutoff by Road Rage Randy. You feel yourself get irritated. What should you do next?

A. Race up on his tail, follow him home, then jump out of the car and have an altercation. Then, explain to the police officer how it was all his fault. 

B. Call your friend and describe how stupid people are and how you hate traffic.

C. Validate that Road Rage Randy must have some reason, not something you can relate to perhaps, but something is driving him crazy. Empathize with him. Believe it's okay to have an experience, his and yours. You might be shocked, even irritated, but you remind yourself that you choose your own experience. You are in control of you and you remain calm, cool, and generally undisturbed.

D. Realize, you're actually not paying attention because you're on your phone, causing everyone on the highway grief, and laugh off the whole thing, sending spiritual apologizes to Road Rage Randy.

Scene two: Your partner calls you fat.

A. Yell at them for being rude. Tell them they shouldn't say mean things and they are dumb. Make them feel horrible because they made you feel horrible. Use blame against them.

B. Shrink down, feel like a victim of verbal abuse, and go find a some soothing stimulus.

C. Validate the experience. Don't react negatively but embrace the fact they must have a reason to speak so bluntly. Maybe its some fear about their personal image or your health that’s driving their own psychology. Empathize and remain calm. Then choose to engage or disengage in the moment from that super self assured place. 

Scene three, last one: You have something you need to say but you're terrified about how the other person will react.

(First... if you're already terrified, you're not ready yet. Go do more work on you. You have to be 100% self assured and emotionally unmovable.)

A. You avoid telling them for fear of their response, so instead you plant impossibly invisible hints, hoping they will get it one day. 

B. You tell them. Then, if they react, tell them they shouldn't be reactive and make them feel dumb, crazy, and wrong. 

C. You prepare them for the news and preset the experience as best as you can. Then, when they do react, breathe, allow them to have their experience and slowly find their way forward. If they are necessary in your life, they will come back. If not. It's all for the best. No stress on you regardless, because you are emotional whole and capable of all outcomes.

I'm sure you found the right answer playfully set up for you there.  Now join me on a daily practice of handling sensitivity and reactivity. Pay attention. Be more aware of when you're triggered. When you've mastered yourself, begin helping others. 

Notes:  The word "triggered" can be a negative word for some people. I hope to use it plainly to describe a simple human experience, like the word spooked, or surprised.

And finally... as an analogy, there are two types of horse trainers. One is far superior. They are: The trainer that guides the horse to be non-reactive to the stimulus at hand. And the other, is the trainer that guides the horse to be non-reactive to ALL things using the stimulus at hand.

For example. The first trainer will rub the plastic bag all over the horse until he no longer cares. But then... an umbrella shows up and the horse reacts poorly again because it's different. Now the trainer has to reinvent the wheel for every new object.

Whereas... the better trainer will begin with the bag, but every time the horse moves his feet, will also correct the horse to start back at square one. Direct them to not move about, but stand their ground under pressure. For this horse, if he learns it well, when the umbrella comes out, or any object, the horse doesn't react poorly. He's already learned how to handle himself when in tough situations.

The point is... many people diagnose triggers and then either avoid them or work through them one by one. It's okay to do that, but also consider you don't have to look for all your triggers. Take any single experience and train yourself to become a better leader for yourself and others using the principles above so that it crosses over into everything. 

In the end you will be an expert at handling sensitive and reactive people, starting with you. And wouldn't that be nice? 😀

Thanks for reading. 

Comment below and share with your friends.

To your success,

Don Jessop

Horses are obviously important to you. I bet you even have more than one and if you don't, you're planning on getting more than one. But last year, looking back, you might realize you didn't spend the time you'd hoped doing what you love.  Why is that? 

Now I know I'm not speaking for everyone. Lots of people got their horse time in. If that's you, FANTASTIC! If it's not you. Read on dear friend. 

Owning a horse sounds magical. And it is, but only if you get to enjoy them. Otherwise, they are opposite of magical. They are a chore. Nobody bought a horse to have more chores. So why didn't last year pan out the way you'd hoped? And more importantly... WHY IS THIS YEAR DIFFERENT?

I'll tell you. See if you agree. Last year you were too busy, too scared, too tired, too lonely, or the weather didn't cooperate for long enough. 

So, I'm gonna speak to each of these and see if we can make this year COMPLETELY different. 

Too busy:

Normal... but lame excuse. Everyone is too busy. Life costs money, money requires people, people require your energy, hence... busy. I know lots of busy people that still get their horse time because they schedule time for it. So, if you truly were too busy, it's time to bring out your calendar and your eraser to reinvent this year. But chances are if you're balking at this one, it's because you're not too busy. It's something else.

Too scared:

This is the hidden excuse. Also, normal but totally overrated. Fear in horses causes them to run away or freeze, preventing forward movement. Same with people. Fear makes you freeze. It prevents you from pulling your saddle off the rack. But this excuse is waaaaay overrated because it's built on false ideas of what progress is. Too many people think progress is riding. I did an eyes closed experiment recently with my students and asked them to write down the first thought they had about horses. EVERY SINGLE ONE described riding their horse either on a trail with friends or cantering in open spaces. No wonder they are afraid. Those are two of the scariest things to do with horses and we all intuitively know why. 

When horses group up their energy levels elevate. You have to be competent to manage that. And if you've ever opened the gate to turn out your horses into a new space, you've seen what they do. They go crazy enjoying the open space for a few minutes. It takes a competent rider to manage that too. With those two images, group riding and cantering in open spaces, it's obvious to me why you'd be scared to spend horse time. Lots of people avoid horse altogether as a result or stick to super basic chores and grooming. 

But... there is something else you could do. You could change your picture of progress. Put the dream of cantering and riding off into the sunset back on the dream shelf where you can see it but don't need it to be a reality yet. You've made it an expectation instead of a direction. That's not fair to your progress. It causes you to freeze and feel bad for not doing more with your horse. Of course, it's not fair for your horse either.  My new book, "Beginners Guide To Foundation Horse Training" describes in detail steps you can take to realize progress. Change your expectations and follow the syllabus in that book and never experience being too scared again. 

Too tired:

Energy begets energy. At some point you have to stop the cycle of energy destruction and start the cycle of charging the battery. So, what zaps your energy? Certain foods, sugar, negative people that you keep going to? Joint pain? Get to the bottom of it. And start recharging with exercise, free movement, and even riding. Did you know riding will boost your energy not rob it. If fear prevents you from riding and it's not about being tired, then mitigate the fear. We can help but if it's about energy, there are things you can do. You already know them. Drink more water. Stretch. Avoid toxic things and people. And remember the feeling you get riding. It's amazing! 

Too lonely:

One major excuse people have for not riding or being with their horse is they don't have someone to share it with. They say, "why ride if you have to do it alone." But hey... it's time to stop using this excuse because you ARE with someone. A beautiful four legged fury critter that has a heart, curious emotions, playful spunk, and more. BE with them. BE present. SHARE with them. Be in the moment. It's magic. Stay safe and carry tools to communicate with the outside world but in the horse space, your horse space, just be with your amazing partner. 

Bad weather:

Really, do we really need to bring this one up? I know many people who aren't hindered by bad weather. The truth is, you need to decide just how important your horse time is, because if this one's holding you up, you're lacking imagination. There are so many things to do on hot days, cold days, windy days. I mean you don't have to be out there every day, but... if you're not out there any days you're stuck in a rut and blaming the weather. Sail out of it and take advantage of bad weather days to get the slow stuff going. You know... all the lateral work, slow flexion work, and desensitization. 

In summary... whatever excuses you have been they are obviously valid, for you. But being valid doesn't make them useful. In my dresser drawer I have a validation ticket from an event I went to years ago. Do you think it will get me in the door again today? Um. NO! Maybe it's time to forget about validations and focus on the positive side of your future. What do you want today? This month? This year? Then... whenever the old limitations knock at your mind, you remind yourself, repetitively, like training a horse, that those things won't help you, and you focus on what will instead. 

We can help you! We have the resources to give you motivation, clarity, confidence. All just one phone call away. Try it. See for yourself. 

Link to calendly 

Comment below, share with your friends, and make this year amazing.

Recently, while discussing next steps with a friend, all about her and her horse, we discovered a simple and exciting model that helps us understand our goals related to trail riding. I never claim to make this stuff up, it often comes with inspiration from my amazing coaching students. Thank you Tina!

In this progressive model, there are four goals related to trail riding. Start with identifying which goal you're working on. Where are you at? Be realistic. Then, take a hard look at the next goal up the list and get to work on making it a reality for you and your horse.

Many, many riders are stuck at the "just hanging on" stage of trail riding. They are completely dependent on other riders to make sure the ride goes well. If another horse gets upset, it's "all over red rover" for them. They need a strong lead horse that always keeps things in hand. If you're stuck at this stage, don't worry, there is hope for you yet.

The next stage in trail riding development is what I call the "tagalong" rider. Tagalong riders are still dependent on having a good rider and horse leading the trail but in general they are more competent. If something goes wrong, they manage to get through it. Their horse doesn't get too upset by the others, and they, themselves, also don't get too upset. They aren't leading anything yet, they don't have the confidence or control for taking over, but they aren't upset and they're easy going for the other riders because their horse is calm and collected enough not to buy into everything else.

The next step after "tagalong" is "choose the track" riders. These riders are confident their horses will respond to new tracks, unknown situations, and confidently lead into the fray, so to speak. Oh sure..., their horse might question it a bit, but they know their horse's limits and work to expand them regularly. Getting to this stage is a big leap in your confidence as a rider. As an instructor, I love it when my riders reach this level. Trail riding becomes waaaaaaaaay more fun. We get to explore for the first time, trusting each other and testing new terrain. 

The last step is what I call the "helpful rider." Becoming a helpful rider means your horse is not only competent and confident, they are also useful in sticky situations. It means you can now manage a group of "tagalongs" or even "just hanging in there's." It means you can step in and hold another horse, side pass to open a gait. Step in front of another horse to arrest his forward movement. Slow down the pace, or speed it up, all based on any single person's, or even multiple person's needs on that ride. The helpful rider is the most skilled, they are the most capable. He or she can wander off in any direction at any time, and even get left behind, and their horse doesn't get upset or herd bound. He or she can lead another horse or string of horses and mules. He or she can forge a river, climb up and down steep embankments, or... just stand calmly at your side while you fiddle with your saddle and tack or work to calm another's horse. There are no limits to the helpful rider. 

So first... Identify where you are on the map. Are you at the beginning, just hanging on? Or somewhere in the middle? Or do you truly feel you can be a helpful rider on the trail? Then, take a look at what it takes to move up the list.

Here's a few suggestions:

More exposure! Don't wait till your horse grows up, get out there every chance you get. Walk the trails on foot, you don't have to be in the saddle to educate your horse. Take the 100 mile challenge and hand-walk your horse for a month or two on trails, then notice how much easier it is to ride.

Then slowly, start to develop your independence as a rider. Ride out to treats to develop your ability to ride alone. What I mean, is take a bag of apples out into the forest, place an apple in ten different places, each one stretching you further away from the barn or comfort zone. Stop to treat your horse at each station. Do that for a month and watch how your horse transforms into the explorer instead of the meek, herd bound, prey animal we all know. Trust me, it works. I've taken scared horses and turned them into war horses using this technique alone.

At a certain point you'll feel so confident you're ready to advance again. Learn to ride with a flag to develop your horse's confidence under pressure. Horses naturally suck at handling stimulus. Well... guess which horses suck less? The ones that are trained to ride with a flag. There is so much value in riding with a flag I'm not sure why it's not promoted more. Any flag will do to start. Try tying a bag to the end of the stick, order a new horsemanship flag online, bring out your country flag, you name it. Add stimulus that truly builds your horses confidence over time. 

Finally, to ensure you reach that last level of competent trail riders, 10X your lateral work and speed control (meaning practice times ten) to gain finer, micromovements necessary to help another rider, for instance, sidling up to another rider to grab their horse's attention, or slowing the pace, or opening and closing a gait. There are dozens of scenarios where having the ability to slow or speed up or hold, or side pass into or away from, would make you and your horse unbelievably useful. 

And for you... build your own body control by practicing small jumps on your horses. Jumping riders are the most competent riders. So regularly practicing small jumps will enhance your confidence immensely. (More on that in another article.)

So here it is again: 

Assign yourself a realistic current position relative to the four goals. 

Define your next practical items to work on to take yourself to the next level. 

And have some fun while you're doing it, because horses are meant to give us a life we dream of. Lets help that work in our favor by giving them our best too.

Here's to the journey!

Don Jessop

I've gone under fire recently from a few of my colleagues about trick training. I keep hearing and have been hearing for years from certain groups across the horse industry that trick training is bad or wrong. That you shouldn't do it.  Just so we are on the same page, trick training is usually defined as signal, response, reward training with repetition as opposed to constant subtle communication with your aids for specific tasks. Example: rearing, bowing, sitting, Spanish walk, etc.

Well.... guess what? It's a narrow lense to view horse training as one type is better.  I LOVE trick training and I'll tell you why. But first I have to tell you why some people don't love it. 

One reason some people don't love trick training is because horses that learn tricks can also learn to use them against you. For instance, if you teach a horse to rear, they can rear when you don't want them to, causing unwanted risk. Or if you teach them to lay down, they might try it while the farrier is holding their foot.  You get the point. There is risk in trick training. 

Another reason people don't love trick training is because the horse that learns tricks often fails to understand finesse based communication. In other words, asking for half passes (laterally passing from one point to another with very specific foot work and flexion) requires a dialogue between horse and rider with flexible amounts of pressure and timing and feel. Tricks are signal based communication. And what I mean by that is... you send a signal, the horse responds, you give a reward. Finesse based communication is more like holding a signal until a desired result. Think of it like holding the gas pedal down to keep driving forward in your car. You don't just push it once and the car carries on without further input. You keep a constant conversation between your foot and the car's wheels. Trick training would be like pushing the gas pedal once and the car drives itself. It's just too simplistic for some trainers. It's too basic for complicated, dynamic interactions between hands, feet, legs, flexion, the bit, the saddle, etc. 

So now we understand why some folks don't like it. Let's go a little deeper and try to understand why we should value trick training. Because, I believe, and the more you to know me you will feel this..., I believe there is value in both using tricks AND using finesse based communication. It's not a "one is better than the other" game we should play. It's a "both are valuable at different times" game we should play.

So, what's the value of tricks?

For one, tricks change the way horses think. Literally. The brain's wiring shifts when they see rewards relative to responding to certain signals.  Tricks, if done right, can literally calm the brain and focus the brain. Finesse riding can too, if done right, but in different ways. Trick training can bring happiness to the brain because it often involves massive positive reinforcement. This allows for the brain to anticipate rewards and put effort into behaviors more organically. 

But there's another reason to train tricks. They are FUN!!!  People love them as much as horses. I get a real kick out of seeing my horse lay down or rear up or march on cue or stand on a pedestal on cue. It's a huge crowd pleaser too. People go gaga for tricks because they inspire the imagination.  They help us dream a little.

So... horses love them, people love them, they are fun, creative and easier than you might have ever thought. (More on that later.) We should definitely make trick training part of our repertoire. We need to learn to do it right so horses don't carry emotional baggage into the trick. (More on that later too). But... we need to also keep our minds open to why tricks are problematic. We all have our stories to tell so let's learn from each other and embrace the value of tricks and other styles of training.

The irony in all this is that trick training and finesse training are actually quite similar. They both require feel, timing, repetition, skills built upon layers that start at the smallest level. In a way... all horse training is trick training. It's conditioning the horse to respond to signals. Trick training just gets a bad rap because lesser skilled trick trainers miss the value of guiding the horse to the right mindset and posture. But the better you get at understanding all of this the better you serve your horse and the horse industry as a whole. 

Thanks for reading. Love your comments and thoughts.

Have a great day.

Don Jessop

All horse lovers have a dream of riding off into the sunset or something like that. Most of us had those dreams realized at a young age when mom, or pop, or Uncle Ben's let us ride for the first time and then, eventually, helps us get our first horse. Then, with a little luck, we continue to have these amazing horse experiences throughout our life. Some of us end up getting more than one horse, and throughout our life we might train and ride a dozen or so different horses.  

But occasionally... one horse shows up in our life and changes us at our core. 

My horse was Frontier. A brown and white paint horse that questioned everything I asked of him. He taught me about finesse, how to ask with kindness for the things I wanted. He taught me the importance of grace. Grace is giving that time for a horse to respond to you. A graceless rider or trainer asks and demands without any delay. A graceful rider asks and waits for the horse to get his ducks in a row and execute the plan with elegance. Frontier taught me all about grace and patience. 

If I didn't allow enough time for him to respond to my cues, if I didn't ready him right and just told him what I wanted, he'd let me know. Usually with some kind of bucking blow-up! His bucks were so extreme, I'd inevitably fall, only to watch him buck around without me for another thirty seconds. He had a hair trigger. The amazing irony is that when he was solid, when his mental faculties were at their best, we could do anything. He forced me not to assume things would always be the same, because I'd have one good day and the next would be horrific. I met a famous horse trainer named Ray Hunt once that talked about his life changing horse. The one that would either win the show or send you to the hospital. He'd laugh when he told the story because he spoke of the horse with fondness. Now I laugh, because that was Frontier to a T. I miss that horse dearly, in spite of our ups and downs and the concussions I received while learning. But one thing is clear. I became a different trainer after him. I became aware of the horse like no-one else. 

I began to see the little things, things nobody could sense. Now I can hear the breath change, feel it change. I can feel the electricity change and the muscles tighten in places you wouldn't think to look. I can sense excitement before the horse had any visible signs of excitement. As a result, the way I request things change. I don't blast a cue and demand a response. I feel for his attention and connection in every request. I "whisper to the horse" as they say. And I listen to his whispers too. I can't help myself. I do this with every horse I meet now because that horse changed me. All my horses have changed me and all the horses I meet in my clinics change me. But that horse was the catalyst. Without him I wouldn't feel for the horse Iike I do now. 

Now I could have given up. I mean I didn't know what to do to solve it. And professionals better than I had tried with him already. I was naïve enough think I had what it took to get through to him. At first, I didn't. But I kept my mind open and I learned more from him than any other horse. I'm grateful for him and I encourage all my students and friends to be grateful for their challenging horse situations. Embrace the challenge. Be the leader for your horse but never forget... He or she... is the teacher. You are the leader, they are the teacher. We have horses for a reason, and it's not always just for fun. It's also for learning about ourselves. How we act, and react. How we lead and follow. How we love and communicate. It's all part of the big picture.

Now I want to ask you to go down memory lane with me. For some of you, you wont have to go far because you might own the horse right now. Here's the question: Who was your life changing horse? Comment below. Tell us his name and give us a glimpse into how he or she has changed you at your core!

Growing up with horses was magical. But... there are a few things we all learned that just don't apply anymore. I thought it would be nice to sit down and have a fun, short chat about those things with you. Now I certainly know you didn't get the exact same messages I got, but a few probably crossed over and those are the ones I'd like to highlight. And at the same time, I'd like to encourage you to look at your own bag of techniques and tools you've learned over the years and decide if it's time to update it. 

Today's List:

"Knee them in the gut so you can cinch up tighter." 

"Get on/off from their left side only."

"Ride it out."

"Don't let them break gait" 

"Lunge them till their tired."

"Kick to go and pull to stop."

Oh, there's more, many more... You've probably heard your own over the years. Be sure to add them in the comments below. 

Let's tackle one at a time here.

"Knee them in the gut so you can cinch up tighter." Of course, not everyone got this lesson. But I did. I was told that when you cinch a horse, they tighten up and hold their breath (this is often true if you go too fast) so you have to make them blow out their breath so you can cinch up tighter. I mean, who wants to get on a horse with a loose cinch? But of course... you don't have to do this. Horses can't hold their breath forever. And why are you in such a hurry to ride anyway? Give him a break, walk him a bit, he'll breathe naturally instead of getting a bolt to the ribs (consequence for nothing) just to blast his air out. Let that one go. Let's all be a bit kinder. I mean, we are asking them to carry us. So... more rewards, less consequences.

"Mount and dismount on the left side only." Well. This is simply not as important as we thought. Everyone got this message and few people know why they got this message. Getting on the left was a military recommendation so you wouldn't hit your horse with your Saber when mounting. It's totally old school. I mean who carries a Saber around anymore? So now you know. Also, hold on to this tidbit, horses are fine with getting on and off both sides, and if they aren't, you can train them to it in as little as one session. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Drop that old idea and make some new ones.  

"Ride it out." This one doesn't take a brain surgeon to understand its consequences. Although, historically, many brain surgeons have helped people recover from the consequences of trying to "ride it out." It's far too easy to get hurt with a horse and riding it out amplifies that risk. The fear is, if you get off, the horse feels rewarded for the wrong thing. This fear isn't unrealistic but getting off doesn't mean stopping everything. At least it shouldn't. You can get off and work on the ground to get the horse right. You don't have to stay on and get it done. The horse learns both ways, especially if you put him away in a respectful, happy place. I get on and off many times in one session, especially if the horse is new or green. As they get better, I stay on more. Simple, safe, effective. Just don't get off and take the halter off and go inside to eat dinner, unless you've ended the session with the horse calmly accepting the exercise at hand. That would be ideal anyway. Some safety situations require starting over tomorrow. That's fine too. Just don't want to make a habit of ending on a bad note, that's the realistic part of helping the horses brain get to the right place each day. You want them to both understand the task and be relaxed about it. You can do that from the ground until they get it then get on and try again.

"Don't let them break gait." Why? Why not let them break gait? That's what I always ask someone when they say that. I know why, but most often the answer is, "Because I was told that a horse shouldn't do that." Of course, whenever someone does something just because someone else says so, you instantly realize they haven't thought about it independently, or scientifically. But occasionally, I hear someone who's thought a tiny bit more about it say, "that you don't let them break gait because if you do, they learn the habit of breaking gait and it makes it harder to do jobs like cantering a course in a competition. It's a better response but still not quite the whole picture. The truth is, there are two types of riding. There is riding in preparation for bigger tasks, and then there's the bigger task itself. So cantering a jump course or trotting toward X in a dressage ring demands consistency of gait. But how you get there, to that consistency, is not by abusively telling the horse he shouldn't break gait in every training ride. The preparation part should be a game that helps develop the horse's ability to maintain gait for longer and longer, filled with fantastic rewards and few consequences for breaking. Because honestly, why would a horse ever break gait unless it was an organic experience of mental or physical imbalance or fatigue? Most people are taught it's bad for a horse to break gait and they deliver heavy consequences to the horse for breaking. But the truth is deeper. It's quite natural and even imperative to break gait. It helps the horse re-balance and restart and use the correct muscles. Forcing to hold the gait when the horse is crying for a chance to re-balance is abusive. It will be important to dive even deeper into this topic in a future article. For now, just remember, it's old stuff, this whole "don't break gait" rule. You can update it. 

"Lunge them until they're tired." Once again. It's not without its own value. Sometimes a horse just needs to blow off some steam and the only way for a novice rider to help that horse is to lunge them. But more advanced riders learn new tricks. You can too. You can often get a horse to focus mentally with other groundwork such as falling leaf patterns, figure eight patterns, jumps, hills, and even more subtle tricks like backing by the tail or picking up all four feet after saddling. Every exercise, if used correctly can help a horse focus. And focus just so happens to be the primary thing we need when riding. Relaxation is nice, sure, but focus is WAY more important. Lunging gets a horse tired enough to focus but doesn't often yield the results you want. Some horses just get stronger and stronger each day you lunge and instead of taking a few minutes to get them tired it takes half an hour. It's also riskier to their joints to lunge in circles for long, so in the end, this happens to be another technique we need to update.

"Kick to go and pull to stop." This one is so simple to understand its value. And the person, whether they ride every day or just got on a horse for the first time in their life instinctively pulls on the reins to stop and kicks with their legs to go. You often don't even have to tell someone new how to ride and they go right to it. But... it's an old, outdated technique. There are multiple ways to ask a horse to stop and go and turn. We should learn them all. I'm not saying throw the baby out with the bathwater. It would be wise to keep the simple messages simple. But with growth in mind, let's consider the playful ways you could communicate with your horse. You could ask your horse to stop, go and turn with your voice. Or your seat, or your legs and no hands, or your hands and no legs. As part of a warm-up I use in many of my clinics I encourage riders to practice all of the above. It sharpens the horse's awareness in a positive and playful way very quickly. Whenever I see instructors limit their vocabulary to kick to go and pull to stop. I can't help but want to send them all my books. There is soooo much more available. I understand the value of not complicating a lesson for a novice rider. But there is never harm in simply telling, even the most novice of riders, that there is no rule about how this works and in the end, you can communicate your go, stop, and turning signals anyway you like, but for today, let's just do the basics and grow together from there.

In summary, let's take our fantastic horses to the next level, and ourselves, by updating old, limiting ideas about leadership and horses. There are many more old things to throw out, for sure. Maybe you could add some in the comments. I'd love that. 

Oh... And don't forget. We offer coaching. One-on-one, knock your socks off service, to help you excel with your horse and follow your big dream! Don't wait. Check it out here and now!

Sign up for your first session for free!

Pick a gait...

Stand still, Walk, Trot, Canter, Gallop

Rate your skill in each gait like this...

What percentage are you a confident leader in that gait and what percentage are you a passenger, leaning on the training of the horse to keep you safe?    

My 81 year old mother for instance is not a horse person, so sitting on a horse that isn't moving, she's at 99 percent passenger. Instinctively she could probably stop the horse if it walked off, maybe. 

Me, on the other hand, I am 99 percent leader and in those rare situations where I'm not, I jump down and get the horse right then jump back up.

But that's just the stand still gait. What about the others?

What about the walk? How much control do you believe you have and how much are you relying on the horses training to take care of you? Many of our students are very competent while walking about. In fact, most are. There's always the newbie who isn't there yet but they'll get there soon enough. But now you take the quiz with me. While walking? What's the ratio for you? 90 leader 10 passenger? Or 50/50? Or 70/30? What is it for you of course it's all general and relative but on average what's your score?

And now how about the trot? Be honest. While trotting, are you truly confident or do you lean on the horses training to carry you? What's the ratio? Play with me. Right it down. Measure it.

Here's why you shouldn't just read this but also engage in this measurement game: You cannot improve that which you do not measure! I didn't just make that up. Study it's truth. There are hundreds of ways to measure something, this just happens to be a playful easy way to measure your confidence and skills so you can get a baseline to improve from.

Now how about the canter?

What's your score? Most of my clients are 20 to 30 percent leaders while cantering. Meaning most of the time they are holding on, not steering, most just tasting and getting familiar with the gait. Many aren't cantering really at all and a few are 90 percent leaders, practiced and capable of cantering dynamic courses. That's pretty normal industry wide. But what makes a great rider is one who improves through practice their leader to passenger ratio. Common, let's have some fun. Tell me your scores.

And lastly, how about the gallop? Full speed ahead. What's your ratio? I can tell you mine is lower in the gallop. I used to gallop all the time giving me a high score of maybe 70/30. Still exposing me to the whims of the horse but mostly it was all guided and controlled. Now it's probably flipped for me. More like 30/70. I need to get that back. Guess what my homework is gonna be. Lol

What's your homework. Take this quiz with me. 

Comment below in this fashion...

Stand 60/40 (or whatever you are)

Walk 50/50 (or whatever you are)

Trot 90/10 (or whatever you are)

Canter 10/90 (or whatever you are)

Gallop 0/100 (or whatever you are)

Have fun, be honest, and se the room to improve. There is no judgment here. You all know me well enough by now, I know, I don't care a wink about perfection, only playful progress toward your own positive experiences. You could score super low on all of it just like my own mother and I'd still love you for playing the game with me. 

Oh... and speaking of percentages, it's the holidays coming up. And as a huge thank you to you. We are giving 10 percent off everything now through Nov 28 2022. All books and online courses

SHOP HERE and use code THANKSGIVING

What you see happening may not be what is actually happening.  

Renown scientists from all over the world didn't do a study on this problem of perception. What they didn't find was astounding. In the study, nine out of ten people believed they could see their reality precisely and accurately. Which is interesting given the study never actually happened.  🤔 

In one test case, subjects were asked to describe the measurable signs of tension in a horse just before it started bucking in a short, pre-filmed video. They were given a score card describing two qualities from head tossing, to tight abdominal muscles, and they were asked to check the ones they saw expressed in the horse. All subjects, after watching the video several times, checked both boxes. A third line asked the question, "Would you feel confident there are no other noticeable signs? Circle Yes or No." Nine out of ten chose to circle "Yes," indicating there were, in fact, no other pre-buck signs in spite of the fact there were more than a dozen notable signs of tension pre-buck. When the data came back and the results quantified... Nine out of ten people proclaimed to see everything pertaining to the exercise, when only one of ten professed there was more to see, including, a sudden tightening of the chin, a flash hardening of the eye, and more.

What this fake study indicates is that we think we see everything when, in actuality, we don't. There are dozens of factors that could be calculated into any experience giving rise to exercise more grace towards each other's experiences. So... in case this metaphorical study doesn't express reality clearly enough, let me expound.

Don't say you know what's going on. If you do that, you automatically position yourself as the biggest fool in the ring. Because, without any doubt, there are factors you are unaware of. Even expert trainers understand this phenomenon and step back to analyze reality more often than novices. Because the minute you say you know something, that's a trigger phrase for digging deeper to make sure you're not missing something else. If you lean into that certain knowledge, that you know everything, you might find evidence you're right, but never look for evidence that there is more to the story. Some people would rather be right... than hungry for more.

So. Final notes. When a horse does something, you don't like, don't assume you know or can tell or see everything behind it. Just the other day a horse wouldn't cross the steam for a new student. She began yelling at the horse, telling him "You know better!" And in her frustration, she could not see the truth. When you think you know, that's your sign to look deeper into the unknown. What is really going on? Is there more? ABSOLUTELY! Her horse could have been afraid, temporarily blinded by the sun, shocked by something that happened moments before, internally frustrated and confused, instinctively herd bound, maybe, his dog ate the homework. The point is... assuming you know, or the horse knows, is dangerous territory.

Once I heard this saying while attending a leadership seminar for business folks. The speaker said. "The three most dangerous words in the English language are...'I know that.'" It stuck with me. What if instead of saying "I know that" I say "interesting, something is new here... unexpected."? That's why horses are challenging and interesting. The point is, once again. Don't assume anything. It leads to horrible expectations and bad communication. 

One other saying that always stuck with me was this... "when you break down the word assume, you get an "ass" out of "u" and "me." So... let's try to see a little more. Always opening to new ideas, new techniques, old techniques done better, new tools, old tools revised to be safer, more natural. You name it, stay open. See more, experience more. Have fun along the way! 

Thanks for reading, Let's go deeper. Check out this course on Horse Psychology 101

This is not to be painfully aware of the inevitable… It’s to bring awareness of appreciation, love, and gratitude for your horse.

If every time you’re with your horse, you have a moment that you treat as if it’s your last… I know a lot more will be shared.

We often think about “tomorrow at the barn.” We focus on our goals and what’s next. And of course, that’s life with our horse. Thinking about goals and the future are all great things….. but what would you say differently if there was not going to be a tomorrow?

Would you thank them every day for all they’ve given you thus far? Would you tell them how proud you are of them? Would you touch them with the same appreciation that they have touched your heart?

Hug their neck a little longer, touch them a bit softer, stand with them expecting nothing for a while. Don’t wait until the end to verbally tell them what they mean to you. Look them in the eye and speak to them like it’s the last time, every time.

Tell them what they mean to you. Tell them now, tell them every day, because in the end, you may not get that chance.

Stop trying to be perfect already and just be willing to be weird. Cause a horse that can't handle weird, NEEDS to handle weird, so they are safer, braver, more independent of thought and not leaning on instinct to guide their experience. Or worse, relying on you to be perfect so as not to upset them.

This blog post is me, giving you permission, no..., demanding that you need to be weird. Be bumpy, inelegant, off timing, poor in your delivery. Teach your horse to be okay with it. 

Then... and this is important. So re-read this if you need.

Then... also practice being perfect.

WHAT??????

Did I just say the opposite of what I just said before? Yes I did!

Mastery with horses is not about being one thing. It's about being able to be many things. I can certainly deliver my information to a horse with elegance and poise. And that's important. There are folks out there who have no problem being "weird" and they take an article like this as justification for always being weird. But that's just the one side of the mastery coin. Learning to let go, let your guard down a bit. Being eccentric and silly. It's all extremely valuable and if you don't have it, your missing WAY more than you know. But if you have it and you're not also practicing elegance and precision and poise, you are also missing half the puzzle. 

So don't get me wrong. I want you to be weird, but if you're already capable and find it easy to be silly, this article isn't for you. Certainly share it with people who need it, but know this article is for people who are perfectionists all the time. People who stoically stand at their horses side with an "I own a horse" look rather than "I share my imperfections with this amazing partner on an extraordinary journey" look.

Here is some contrast. Remember. Not one is right. You need to be able to do both. If you can't, your missing out on the majesty of the horse human experience and your horse will never truly experience the extraordinary feeling of precision work and play in balance.

Here's the contrasting pictures:

Now. In summary. Go be weird!

Comments are most welcome and appreciated.

It's almost Halloween and that makes me think of pumpkins. And thinking of pumpkins makes me think of Cinderella and her magic pumpkin ride gifted to her by the Fairy God Mother who so enthusiastically sang that fun, Disney tune, "Bippity, boppity, boo!"

So now, let's sing along with her, but not for any reason you might suspect. I haven't yet hinted at why we should use her words but now it's time. 

Words have power. Enormous power! Language is the foundation of society and its nuances between intention and meaning. Words should be honored, studied, practiced. Words used flippantly or too often create a dullness to life and communication. Think of it like a knife being blunted by too many strokes on hard surfaces. The wrong word at the wrong time can create a sharpness that causes tension and pain. And one word, one very special word... has enough power to ruin your career, especially if you work in the horse industry, like I do.

That word is... "Hit!"

Is it okay to hit your horse? Answer... NO! But what about if your safety or another's is on the line? How about then? YES!

But "hit," regardless of the context, carries weight. It sparks a tone of abuse and unkindness toward our beloved animal partners. So how can we (we as horse trainers) teach others to value firm leadership without having that same root negative tone that "hit" carries.  

First of all, horse are tactile creatures, so if you think physical contact isn't necessary to teach them then you're in the wrong industry. If you think I'm wrong and you feel you don't need physical contact, then don't put a halter on your horse and let's see how far you get. The halter is physical contact. Teaching a horse requires guiding movement, and physical contact is often required for that, even if you train without a halter. Horses in nature also kick and bite and shove each other around as a normal day to day expression of language and intention. They live by tactile expression. So, no matter how you spin it, communication with your horse will require touch. But to avoid being abusive, most of us agree we should be kind with our touch and firm when needed without being abusive. So here is what I'm getting at... we need a new word that doesn't have the connotations of the word "hit."

My favorite... "Bippity, boppity, boo!"

In my clinics I often teach my students when leading their horses to back their horses away when they spook forward. Sometimes, in order to achieve this, you have to block his forward trajectory and "bop" him on the nose then follow that up with kind words and a rub on the nose. That's how you get balanced horsemanship. If you don't bop your horse, which many prefer not to, you will inadvertently allow and reward him taking your space and now, you've got a dangerous 1500 pound bowling ball heading toward you. One who's learned that you aren't really any kind of leader at all.

I meet people all the time that get emotional about bopping their horse and refuse to make that physical contact. ALWAYS. And I mean always, these horses are the worst horses in the clinic and it's not until that student learns that they aren't hitting their horse but guiding their horse that they begin to step up as a leader. 

When students ask me how I get my horses to do things so quickly and so calmly I often have to point out how I had to be firm. They almost never see it. Not because I'm not firm. I am at times. But because I always balance that firmness with extraordinary amounts of bonding. You can too. Change your language from hit to bippity bop and you're halfway there. Then add the extra bonding time and trust building and you're all the way there.  Welcome to mastery with horses. 

One last fun twist... don't scare your horse into motion. The saying should go... "bippity, boppity, don't boo."

It's truly a pet peeve of mine to see horse owners smack the ground behind the horse to make them go. It's like they don't get it. Why would you try to scare your horse into motion? Don't you want your horse to NOT be scared into motion? You know, like when a dog runs up behind you or a twig breaks or a bird flies up? If you don't want your horse to spook, then stop spooking and threatening him to go from behind. Let your tools guide him with visual softness and more tactile firmness that starts out soft. Reach for your horse with tactile intention to send him forward rather than strictly visual reinforcement to go. Don't slap the ground behind him. You're only reinforcing spookiness. So... bippity, bop him forward but... don't boo.

Got it?

I hope you see how I like to have fun with words and make them memorable. I hold no judgements against anyone who trains different to me. We are all trying to do the best we can. I truly believe that. I don't think we ARE doing the best we can but I think we are trying to, and that counts for something in my book. It's a good start to develop good feel for your expectations and communication.

Thanks for reading. As always.  I love your comments.  Post and share. Thankyou 

Moment to moment your horse's energy shifts. And when it does, can you see it? Do you notice the details that tell you the horse has moved from an "I can't do this" mindset to an "I'm emotionally okay but just don't care do see or do what you want right now?"

It can happen in one moment. Literally. Horses can shift from fear and the need to be taken care of kindly, to confused or complacent and the need to be reset, so to speak. And here is what you need to know about it.  Well... two things actually. 

First, what to do when you see the change,

Because if you don't adapt your strategy and adjust, you'll lose respect and even trust.

Second, how to notice the shift. What it actually looks like in a horse.

I'll do my best to describe it for you. If you miss the cues, don't worry, you're not alone, few people master the skills to read their horse that well. But just know, if you miss it, you do need to pay closer attention next time. It will mean all the difference going forward.

First things first... what to do. I've written similar articles before so feel free to reference them here. And the reasons I say it comes first is because if you aren't ready with your strategy, seeing won't make any difference. 

When your horse moves from "I can't too I won't" you must become the leader who says, "don't give up, give me something we can work with respond to me when I ask, even if it's a small response in the right direction." But when they move back to "I can't" you must switch back to being the leader who says, "it's okay, hang in there, I'll be patient for you, we are in no rush, take your time, I'm here for you." 

I just described two different personalities. Some horse people think they can get away with only one. In fact, society thinks that we should only have one personality. But it's completely inaccurate. We literally have to shift our personality and identify as someone who cares, but then identify as someone who gets shit done, then back again. One might be naturally easier, making you believe that's "who you are" but you're way more than that. You can be many things.

When they are balanced and practiced the two personalities look like one united front. We admire people who express clarity and charity. But make no mistake, they are two different parts of our makeup that we have to practice bringing forward. 

So, for clarity's sake let's repeat. When you see your horse shift from needing kindness to needing clarity, offer clarity. Don't get stuck being nice hoping the horse will trust you because the irony is you will actually lose trust and respect in those moments if you don't step up.

Now. Part two... how to read it. 

I've literally devoted an entire video course to this subject. It's called Horse Pychology 101. Get it here. In simple terms however, the signs your horse gives for "I can't" are pretty easy to spot. You'll possibly hear snorting, you most likely see electric reactions like sudden and lightning quick sidesteps or pulling back or bolting forward. You'll see the muscles ripple like they are ready for anything. You'll hear her breathing pause and hold. You'll see the eyes get wide and there will be one of two obvious reactions with the feet. One they freeze and become unresponsive, or two they can't settle. You'll see they avoid letting you touch them in certain places and they keep their head high and tight.

The opposite of all these reactions would indicate a calm responsive horse, which is what we want in the end, but we aren't looking for opposites now. Now we have to look for subtle shifts because when a horse goes from "I can't" to "I won't" it's not always super duper obvious. 

One thing that changes is the breathing. A horse that can't, will usually hold their breath.  A horse that "won't," usually breathes fairly naturally. Another thing to look for is the electricity. A horse that "can't" will make distinct sudden movements like lightning. A horse that "won't" may still be unsettled but the suddenness will be gone. There may still be a sluggishness to your requests and a strong desire to slip out of position but the reactivity will diminish substantially.

Last week I asked a horse to stand at the mounting block. For the first five minutes she would snort and dart about the block as I stood above her. Then she'd freeze, then bolt again, holding her breathe and such. All the signs of "I can't do this." I patiently waited for her energy and kindly guided her back to me as often as I could. Then, and quite suddenly, she shifted. Her breathing changed, her eyes softened. Her speed changed. She still didn't want to stand under me but the fear was gone. So... I shifted too. I began demanding she stand by me. I offered extreme clarity, as in... "it's better for you if you do this." For a moment, she shifted back, fearfully questioning my new authority, I shifted for her then too. But then, within moments, she shifted away from fear again. And again, I shifted back to clearly guiding what I wanted with certainty. In about ten minutes time she stood under me at the mounting block with TOTAL confidence. And I mean total. And boy, did I reward her!

She wasn't standing there out of fear of what I'd do if she wouldn't. She wasn't standing there frozen. She wasn't standing with her ears pinned, pissed that I made her do something she didn't want to. She was standing there breathing, calm, loose, accepting, trusting, responsive and dare I say... willing. All because, when she needed me to slow down and give her time, I did, when she needed me to show up and give her clarity, I did. She respected and trusted me more as a result. 

But how did I know when to do what? Well, you've got some basics here. Dive deeper and buy the Horse Psychology 101 course.  Master the signs and become the leader your horse has always wanted. 

And please comment below. I live for your voice. You are the heartbeat of our industry. Tell me what you've learned or relearned. tell me how this impacts you. And please share this article with your friends. We are in this together. 

I thought I was going insane because I was the only one who knew this old saying, "If you can put salt on a birds tail you can catch it." But it turns out I wasn't the only one. I asked my uncle Google and he had also heard it. Whew. I'm so happy I'm not alone.

It's a myth of course. Putting salt on a bird's tail won't render it flightless. But... if you can get close enough to put salt on a bird's tail, you can probably also just wrap your hands around it and catch it like a normal person would. That is, if you think catching birds is normal, LOL. 

I use that old saying for a reason. The point is, horses have what I call, "king pin" problems. To use another analogy, in bowling, if you knock over the front pin or the "king pin" you have a greater chance of knocking over most the other pins and winning the round. Horses have issues relative to that king pin that if you tackle that one problem, lots of the other problems you know about will go away too. For instance, if you have a horse that bucks, but he also has a habit of pulling back when tied, if you fix the pulling back issues, the bucking issue might go away too without even working on it.

Well...

One of the king pin problems horses have is related to their tail. I don't think most horse owners spend enough time back there. There are tiny muscles around the tail head that tighten and when they tighten, the whole horse tightens. You can feel them grab when you lift the tail and the horse resists or when you touch around there and the horse flinches. I often encourage people to groom their horses tails more, not only because it makes them look better, but because it will encourage more relaxation than perhaps any other activity. AND! That deeper relaxation will transfer to everything else including riding. 

Here's why...

Horses are reactive to things they see and feel from behind. It's mother nature's way of saying don't get yourself killed by a predator. Most horses run from danger, then get to a certain distance and face up. Have you noticed your horse would prefer to face you rather than let you stand at his tail? If you have, it's because that's mother nature dictating his experience. It's just less comfortable having you back there where he can't keep his eyes on you as well. 

Now I know some horses want you back there scratching around. That's great. I'm not talking about those horses. I'm talking about the ones that don't want you back there.

It's important to know how horses react instinctively so you can train their confidence and guide them to less instinctive behavior and more cognitive behavior. And it just so happens, grooming the tail, rubbing around the backside, and down the legs is one of the best ways to do that. When I get off my horses, instead of going to the front, I go to the back first, rub him down, then go to the front. It's backwards I know, but almost every successful person does things backward from the normal. Learn to think different and get different experiences with your horse. Spend more time in your horses' blind spots building confidence. That's the key. That's why the work around the tail is so effective. Of course, it's not the only thing you should do to build confidence but it is one of those "king pin" ideas that help your horse get better about virtually everything else. 

Go ahead and try it for a week or two. Spend more time around his tail and other vulnerable spots. Prove to your horse you are trustworthy and he or she can be brave.

"If you can put salt on your horses' tail, you can catch his heart, mind, and trust!"

A worthy game, wouldn't you say?

I would love to hear from you! Your comments are always helpful and enriching. Ask your questions, post your thoughts and share this with your friends. I'll see you soon.

Don Jessop

When it comes to collected riding, are you a puppeteer or are you a coach?

The answer to my question may not seem important but it is perhaps the most important thing related to finesse or collected riding. Why? Because, if you believe you're guiding your horse but find out your simply "controlling" your horse (there is a simple test I'll give you in the next paragraph to know) you'll finally understand that a horse, being a free spirit, free thinking animal, just like people, don't like being controlled. But they don't mind being coached. That is, if the coach is a worthy coach.

Here's the test...

Saddle up, warm up, get on, and simply ask your horse to canter. If you cannot or are not willing to drop the reins and canter happily on a loose rein, you are using and perhaps abusing the technique of controlling hands instead of guiding hands. You are a puppeteer, manipulating the movement of the puppet. There is no dignity in this kind of horsemanship. If that is a slap in the face, well, sorry. It needs to be said. 

Now let me be clear. In an emergency, holding and controlling IS the best strategy. Even in training, holding to a point to guide the right idea followed by balanced rewards and further testing to ensure the horses brain, not just their feet, are connected to what's being taught, is also a good idea. But if time has passed, training has been done, and you're still holding tight to those reins, it's time for a new perspective. I'm not saying let go and hope your horse doesn't run away with you. I'm saying this... Learn to have catching hands rather than holding hands. 

With catching hands, your reins are loosened just an inch or so, just enough to allow the horse to move freely. Just enough to prove you aren't holding anymore, and you can feel it in your hands, it's light, it's easy. Most likely you know the feeling already because most riders can do this while casually walking on a trail or cooling down after a workout. But I'd like you to be able to stay that way, soft and light through everything. Not everything all the time, just most the time. Like I said, there are emergencies that demand a firm, holding hand. But in between the emergencies, there is true horsemanship through feel. 

Don't be fooled by people who teach you about collected riding being "on the bit." It's an old saying that doesn't mean what most people think it means. You can get the most advanced maneuvers without being "on the bit." You know it's possible because you've seen horses do this without a rider in their free, playful states. In fact, all advanced maneuvers are inspired by the horse's natural state. So why shove a heavy bit in their mouth and hang on to it? It doesn't make sense, except, like I said, in a few extraordinary circumstances. And if you've been paying attention to the internet for the last two decades you might have come across examples of excellent riders doing everything you can imagine without a bridle. Just google, riding without a bridle. Add to the search, dressage, jumping, reining, you name it. There are many examples. Some will inspire you. Some will turn you off because the horses are all upside down and grumpy. Those ones are clearly done by people who are still experimenting and haven't' yet put it all together.

The point is riding on a looser rein doesn't prevent you from achieving great things. In fact, it's the opposite. It's more difficult, naturally, because you have to become a coach instead of a dictator, but it's also more beautiful, more desirable, and makes the experience for the horse measurably better. As a known trainer in the horse industry, I'm still shocked, how decades have passed, and the rules haven't change for excellence. The standards are often still based on puppeteering instead of real horsemanship. All of that can shift though. I'm still an optimist. I still believe we can get this ship (horseman-ship) turned around in favor of the horse, offering more dignity, more fun, more enlightenment. 

This simplest way to move forward starts with you. Are you willing to take the test and find out the truth about how you ride? Are you willing to have catching hands instead of holding hands?

In case you're not sure what I mean by that, imagine a baby learning to take their first steps, independent of any support. Any good parent will set their hands close to the child, ready to arrest the fall, but not on the child because we know, in our hearts, if the child is to grow, he must have a caring coach, a supporter, not a dictator. It's the same for our horses. They can grow beyond the myths of traditional horsemanship. And all it takes is you developing the hands of a coach. Soften your grip and guide, rather than hold tight. 

In case I've offended anyone today. Sorry. It's not my intent. My intent is clear. Let's be better, smarter, together. I've studied the heart and mind of the horse, and the horse rider. We all want the same experience. We want to enjoy our time and have something grand to look forward to. We are the same, you and I. And our horses, believe it or not, want the same thing to. They just need a guide to get there.

Thanks for reading. I can't wait to hear you feedback. Comment below. Even if you think I'm wrong, comment. I'm an adult, I can take criticism. Let's make this world a better place together.

Don Jessop 

Mastery Horsemanship 

1. When you ride bareback, you develop better balance.

Cause we all need better balance, right? As a rider I know there are two reasons to be better balanced. One, to ensure I don't fall if my horse does something sudden. Two, to offer my horse a package that works for him or her instead of just sitting up there like a sack of potatoes, or worse... working against him when he's busy working for me. Imagine trotting long distances without rising and falling in time with the rhythm of his feet but sitting and hanging on the whole time. If that happened both my horse and I would have a sore backside. 

Riding bareback is, for most people, waaaaayyyy harder than riding with a saddle but as you develop the skill of bareback riding you naturally develop your balance too. It's an organic experience of growth, core strength, and balance development. The more you do, the better you get. 

2. When you ride bareback, you feel tension you didn't even know your horse had.

Another reason to ride bareback more is because it's hard to feel your horse's body through a heavy leather saddle. For most riders who never ride bareback they never experience the small muscle movements that occur every single time your horse becomes ever so slightly tense. When you feel those things riding bareback you learn to feel them under saddle to but you always have to start bareback to really know what's going on. Plus, if you know what's really going on for your horse, you'll slow down and do more to help him or her rather than push through with the false sense of security the saddle offers. 

I shouldn't say it's false. The saddle does offer security, but it's for you, not your horse. Push a horse past his tension and you take away his security.

3. When you ride bareback, you train slower and more thorough because otherwise... you get hurt.

Also, because it's so much harder to balance, you usually end up slowing down your cues and expectations of your horse. In other words, if you want to canter but you fear you lack the balance, you ease into it and ask your horse to ease into too. If you rush it, like you might while riding in a saddle, you will probably not stick the transition, causing you discomfort or a lack of balance resulting in more discomfort. The point is, riding bareback literally forces you to slow down and ease into motion rather than blast into motion. A good rider wouldn't do that anyway but riding bareback teaches the true value of going slower for both you and the horse. 

4. When you ride bareback, it's easier, and can often be more fun.

Tacking up (putting on a saddle and bridle) takes time, precious time. Riding bareback takes no time at all. Brush off the dust, the snow, the excess hair and just hop up there and enjoy one of God's greatest gifts. 

5. When you ride bareback, it can be more comfortable for the horse on short rides. Unless you have a bony butt or weigh too much, compared to your horse.

Saddles do a much better job of distributing weight than riding bareback. But... poor fitting saddles are very uncomfortable for a horse and riding bareback is actually more comfortable for them simply because you're not pinching them in odd places. Long rides might be better suited for better tools but short rides offer much more comfort to the horse simply because there's less weight to carry, less belly straps to wear, less stuffy saddles to pinch the shoulders or dig into the hide, etc. 

In summary...

Riding bareback will develop you as a rider like no other skill, offering many benefits and few downsides. Naturally, you have to start slow and do easy things and only over time, develop greater skills. As a point of inspiration, when I see a student of mind take their first steps bareback, I smile big! When I see them take their first steps in the canter, I hold my breath and smile bigger! When I see them canter a course full of turns and jumps without a saddle or bridle... I see a master rider in the making. 

My old teacher Pat Parelli would often say these words in parting, "May the horse be with you!" I'm going to borrow them today because, one, I love the line, and two, it lends to our theme today. A bareback rider knows the horse better than any other type of rider because riding bareback demands that you keep your horse "with" you. It's a noble journey. Join me on that journey. I have the tools to help you succeed!

Click here to get a free personal session with Don

When I look around and listen for the cues, I see there's a lot of shaming in the world. Have you noticed that? Body shaming, personality shaming, and even, believe it or not, shame for people who own horses but don't ride them. 

"I know, right?"

Let me be another voice for those out there who feel shamed about not riding. It's okay. In fact, most horses prefer it! Here's what a horse needs: Food, Water, Shelter, Hoof and health care, social interactions, and positive experiences. Can you offer those things... without riding? Absolutely! 

Who cares if someone thinks you should ride and you don't feel up to it! Don't let the voices around you dictate your experience. And... don't avoid your horse by not interacting just because you can't ride. Get out there and just "be" with your horse. Enjoy nature. It's good for the soul.

So, accept your feelings a bit, accept your position, accept your experience, and don't hate on yourself for not living up to someone else's idea of what you're supposed to be or do. 

Just one little caveat on the word "accept." I feel like people often think that if you accept the way things are now, you are resigning to that new norm and you'll never again be able to do things you used to be able to do. But the truth is, accepting something, means giving yourself some grace, not giving up on your dreams! If you want to ride, believe it will happen again for you, but don't pressure yourself. Just breathe, think positively about yourself and your current experiences and slowly move in the direction you want to go. 

I've helped many people recover (including myself) from setbacks. In the beginning it feels like you'll never have what you once had. But you have to shake loose of those feelings and just accept what is. "It is what it is, right?" Gotta thank my friend Patty for that phrase! Then... look at where you want to go and take one small step toward it. Don't focus on what you've lost, or you'll go crazy. Focus on your footwork. Take a step, breathe, reward yourself, then take another step. It won't be long before your acceptance turns to progress and pride of accomplishment. 

In short, don't give up on what you want, but also give yourself enormous doses of grace, every single day! Grace is that acceptance of things you didn't plan for. Give yourself that gift. Trust me, it will pay off in big ways.

Thanks for reading and please comment below and share with your friends.

Don Jessop

Most horse lovers eventually discover the art of liberty training. It's one of the most enriching, beautiful, inspiring parts of horsemanship and it's something you can do when you can't or don't want to ride. 

But did you know there are three different modes of liberty?

It's important to understand the distinction so you don't confuse your horse with your outcomes. 

The first type that most people are familiar with is called "round pen liberty" or what I like to call "foundation liberty," because honestly... you don't need a round pen. Read why... link to how round pens can ruin horses.

Foundation liberty is designed to teach a horse how to move freely in every gait, change direction, transition smoothly, learn to carry a saddle, and join up. "Join up" is a term coined by the famous horse trainer Monty Robert's. It simply means the horse turns to you and joins you where you stand and may even follow you around without the lead rope. 

Technically there are dozens of ways to achieve these foundation goals. Some people highlight voice cues to train transitions and such, other people highlight hand signals, some highlight body position relative to the horse, while some highlight flags and sticks as their primary tools of communication. It's important to know, the technique is not half as important as the clarity of your outcome.

Foundation liberty is typically done in a round pen to help a developing horse become more fluid and better prepared for riding. Don't confuse foundation liberty to the other modes because... I guarantee you... it will screw up your poor horse's brain and make the other types of liberty nearly impossible. 

Why would it screw up the other types, you might ask...? 

Because foundation liberty is primarily a driving away training style. Not a joining up training style. It may involve a small amount joining up but it's not the primary goal. It may teach a horse to canter, but on his own, not with you. And without any doubt, if your focus is foundation or round pen liberty, when you take the round pen away you will not succeed in keeping your horse close to you. For that, you need to learn the next types of liberty.

The second mode of liberty training I like to call "natural liberty training." This type of training indicates you leave a rope and halter on your horse while you guide and educate them to understand simple and/or complex maneuvers. Imagine asking your horse to walk next to you then as they learn it, tossing the rope over their back and testing the skill without the rope. Eventually you take the halter off completely and test the same skill with nothing on the horse. This game of naturally diminishing your use of tools supports learning without getting lost and allows for progress with more clarity.

This just happens to be the simplest version of liberty training and it can apply to every single training behavior from cantering next to you, to spins, to rearing up, lying down, working in open fields, working with multiple horses at once, you name it. When the horse learns the trick (behavior) then you toss the rope over their back and test it, ready to grab the rope just in case they don't know it as well as you thought. Then finally, you take the rope off altogether.

Anything is possible with this type of training. It takes patience and persistence to get to the upper level stuff, but it's fun and simple. I probably teach this mode of liberty at more clinics than anything else because it's so relatable and practical. Plus, horses seem to understand what you want much easier 

But it's not the only way.

One thing you'll learn when you study with me is there is always more than one way.  Deciding which one you want to challenge yourself with is up to you. 

The last type of liberty training is called "purest liberty training." This is analogist to the people who watch that famous old movie, "A River Runs Through It" with Brad Pitt, and decide they will master the art of fly fishing. So they throw away all their normal fishing tackle and only fly-fish, casting that new thousand dollar fly rod for the rest of their days. Purest means you're dedicated to the art, not the task. A "purest" fly fisherman or woman, won't fish with anything else because it's not about catching the fish, it's about being "one with the fish." Or so they say. It's the same for purest liberty trainers.

To be clear, I'm not strictly a purest, although I'm dedicated to the art too. I'm an educator. I love the magic of true connection-based liberty training but I understand the value of practical application too. But... for the sake of education, let's dive into what purest liberty training entails. I've certainly enjoyed the process. You might too. 

Here is how purest liberty works. It's ALL about connection. Your horse must learn and value being connected to you above all other things. And... you never use ropes to guide the experience. Some people even go so far to never use sticks or whips. And the goals remain the same. The outcomes remain the same.

In other words, if you master the art, you could teach your horse to canter next to you in an open field, lay down on command, rear on cue, and anything else, all without ever using a rope to guide the horse into compliance. It's a beautiful art form that takes enormous patience and skill. Often, in the beginning, the horse may refuse to participate and won't even follow you around. The skills required to encourage that simple task and discourage anything else requires finesse. Push too hard and you get a resentful, fearful horse. Push too little and you get nowhere. The balance is beautiful and worthy of pursuit. 

As a practical horseman I encourage studying all modes of liberty at different times. In my own practice I employ each mode for different personal experiences and practical reasons. For colt starting I may encourage fundamental gait work inside the round pen to reinforce a better riding experience. If I'm not colt starting, I may combine the different modes. For instance, I may be working toward purest liberty, teaching the horse to trot with me, only to find he or she gets lost and is finding it hard to understand my goals. Then briefly, I may use a rope to help guide and quickly reward the correct footwork. Sometimes the horse will appreciate the clarity and we can move to understanding and connection sooner.  

There is no "right" answer or "right" technique. The purest will try to convince you there is, the foundation trainer will try to convince you there is, the trick trainer will try to convince you there is, but... they are all right! All modes have their place, all techniques are worthy of learning. There is only one real wrong way of doing it. And that is through fear, force, and intimidation training infused with frustration and abusive feel or timing toward the horse. All other modes are acceptable and part of the art of learning together with an amazing equine partner.  

It's okay to get off track and lose your connection and then work to get it back, even if it takes longer than you expected. It's okay to learn about treats and clicker training and conditioned responses. It's okay to dive deeper and learn about feeling for the fragile thought connection, the weight shift, the muscle tension, the attitude shift, rather than always focus on positioning and footwork. Liberty is FUN, enriching, inspiring. It's meant to be a worthwhile journey.  

Would you like to experience it? Follow me. I'll guide you through it. Through each mode, through each step. 

Click here to learn more (LINK TO LIBERTY COURSE AND COACHING)

Comment below. I love hearing from you! 

The line I'm referring to is the balance between complacency and anxiety.

You can be too complacent with a horse, even a good horse, because if you let down your guard too much you might find yourself, like I did years ago, on your backside, catching your breath with your "calm" horse running off to greener pastures. 

The story goes like this... I was almost home and feeling quite tired from a long, successful ride gathering cattle from the mountains. As we rode those last few miles back, I noticed myself relaxing more and more into the safety of the moment with a great horse. Then, before I could gather my wits, my horse stepped on an underground nest and bucked. With reactions too slow, I found myself landing on my backside, then dragged for a few steps with my long rope reins tangled in my arm. My horse made his way home without me and I limped home short on everything but embarrassment. 

The morale of the story, when you let your guard down too far, even on a good horse, you trust circumstance to protect you. But Murphy's law suggests that is exactly the best moment to be reminded that circumstance is not always there to protect you but to teach you. So... be more alert, ride awake, stay energized and focused.

But the coin can flip over too far, from complacent to anxious. Riding with your guard up all the time has its own set of consequences. Namely, you dare not be a leader when you're most needed. And, if pushed too far, you may give up riding altogether because the thought of riding is too intense. If you find yourself in this state, there is a way out of it. I know the way because I've been there. 

As a natural trainer I often get the most challenging horses to rehabilitate. The kind of horses that both fear and disrespect humans. The kind of horses that have a history of injuring people, one such horse even had a person killed. Not on purpose of course, but that kind of experience sets a tone for how you work with the horse, and eventually, all horses. They are literally capable of the worst case scenario and when the fear and pain set into my own blood, coupled with injuries of my own, I found myself not asking horses for anything outside of extremely easy tasks on fair-weather days. Eventually, I faded even further to not riding at all for quite some time. 

That kind of anxiety makes you yelp with the smallest unexpected movements from the horse. It isn't healthy and luckily there is a path to recovery. Part of that path is finding small successes. Part of that path is rediscovering your own strength, balance, and stamina. It's not gone, no matter your age. You can recover those things and play at a new level you might not believe you can achieve. But you can! It's been done. You can do it too.

But here's the kicker... You'll never go back to complacent. Once you've been hurt, you'll never be able to shut off your senses completely. This feeling leaves many people believing they will never enjoy their horse again. They believe they have to be totally chill, like they were before, or as kids, but let that go! You'll never have that sense of ignorant based confidence again. You'll always be more alert, more careful. That's a good thing. 

All this leads to the simple concept that there is a fine line between complacence and anxiety. We call that line "alert, calm, and proactive." This fine line is within your reach. All you have to do is let go of your need to be bullet proof like you were as a kid, and at the same time, slowly build back your muscles, your balance, your stamina, your flexibility. You can do all that from the comfort of your living room. Or hire a trainer to help you get back to a fit state, mentally and physically. 

Here's the thing. Do you really want to let go of riding horses because it's a little scary? NO! You don't want that! What you want is to feel brave, confident, sure! You want to enjoy the majesty of the horse-human connection! You want to be free of anxiety. We are often jealous of the ignorant who seem confident and bulletproof. They often don't fear because they've never been hurt. But true confidence doesn't come from ignorance. True confidence comes from experience coupled with a dedication to not let gravity hold you down. 

When you get bucked off, get back on. It's not about the horse. Let that go. Take all the time you need to get back on. Get your horse right first. You don't have to prove anything to your horse. You have to prove it to yourself. Prove to yourself that gravity will only hold you down when you've lived your full life. Prove to yourself that you are capable, passionate, playful, and brilliant at your core. Don't give up. Believe! Believe! Persist! You'll never go back to complacency but the journey away from anxiety and back to that fine line between complacency and anxiety is a worthy journey! Take it with me. Join me. Follow your heart!

Ride the line!

Start your private coaching session now. Click here!

The little things you do matter to your horse. Small considerations are of great importance!  

Below is not a complete list of small things that matter but it's a pretty big bite out of a comprehensive list of small things we can do to ensure our horse knows we care. Put differently, if you don't do these things, you may be riding a puppet, not a partner.

Loosening the cinch at the end of a ride and tightening the cinch in stages in the beginning:

Just think about your own experience, imagine a rope tightening around your belly, would you like it slow and considerate, or sharp and thoughtless? Then, after a while of wearing that rope, would you like it to remain tight, or loosen just enough to add some comfort as we lead those last few steps back to the barn?

Wake up slowly:

Imagine standing at rest, then suddenly being asked to jump the moon without time to get the blood to the muscles required to perform that task. Almost all tasks, big and small, require a bit of warm up. Even stepping off from the tie rail or mounting block involves a few simple suggestions to shift the horses weight before steering away and walking off. Be considerate as you ask your horse to move after resting.

Be athletic, or be patient and prepared to demand less:

If I'm going to ask my horse to jump, I want to know I won't get in the way of his motions. That means I have to have a strong core, great balance, and the athleticism to proactively adjust to macro movements. In other words, don't ask a horse to perform something you, yourself aren't competent to keep up with. Consider his or her balance and longevity as you grow together.

Be present:

No cell phone unless it's for safety or communication on a trail ride. Don't put your headphones on and listen to audiobooks and music. Instead, tune into the beautiful nature around you. Don't text and ride. Don't untie yourself from the connection you are supposed to have with this magical beast. Be in the moment. Hear the heartbeat. Feel the breath. Feel the muscles warming up and fatiguing. See what he or she can and can't see and offer grace for what he or she misses.

Clean feet and be kind about it:

When you pick up a horse's foot you want to ask politely, then when you give it back you want to set it down kindly, don't drop it. Remember, horses get little pebbles in their feet and it's always nice to check it out before and even during the ride if you notice something feels off. If you're present, you will notice it. 

Avoid inconsistent, mixed cues:

It's time to break out your journal. What signal do you use for walking, trotting, and canter on the ground and in the saddle? Are you sure? Are you always the same? Sometimes I catch my students asking for canter with completely different signals than what they used last week. It's one thing to refine your signal through repetition. It's a whole other thing to switch it up daily. Also, your body language plays a huge role in your signal execution. For instance... imagine riding, asking your horse to sidestep to the right... If you lean too far left and push, you'll end up grabbing with your upper right thigh just to keep yourself from falling out of the saddle. Couple your grabbing right thigh with your pushing left leg and you have mixed signals. Be natural, don't exaggerate too much. Be as considerate as possible for their innate ability to get confused and always offer some grace to their learning experience.

Riding in the horse trailer:

Have you ever stood in the back of the horse trailer with your horse while someone else drives the truck down the road? You should try it (on a safe farm road of course). Get in the back and get a full understanding of their experience, from the noises they hear to the stability in your feet or lack of, to the sights and smells. When you do this, you'll realize how important it is to accelerate slowly as the driver and break slowly as well. Walking a mile in their shoes gives you a whole new perspective on the little things that matter and make a great relationship.

Understand they don't respond on their back the same as on the ground:

Don't get frustrated! Pretty much follow the "don't get frustrated" rule and you'll find success with horses regardless of technique or skill. When it comes to their understanding of your communication, understand that they will see you differently when you change positions from ground to saddle. So, if it was easy to canter on the ground, you can expect it WON'T be easy to canter in the saddle until the horse learns the signals from that new position. This simple perspective will help him trust you more because you'll be patient and kind with his learning.

Unnatural smells matter too:

Horses smell like grass and water and sweat. But even their sweat smells a bit like grass and water. People smell like MacDonald's and sweat. And their sweat smells like MacDonald's gone wrong. Eating a more natural diet, believe it or not, is more pleasant to your horse. Strong perfumes can be unpleasant too. Unnatural laundry, deodorant, etc., can all irritate your horse. That doesn't mean they can't learn to accept you like you are. It just means that if you really care, show it from time to time in ways he or she may never expect but most likely always appreciates.

Balance her stall time and free time:

Living in a stall is not cool. Imagine living in your bathroom. It's about the same size ratio. You need to get out. So does your horse. It's okay to be in that small space for a few hours at a time. Sometimes injury recovery requires days and weeks at a time in that small space. It's not life or death you're choosing, it's just sanity you're choosing. If you find a larger space where your horse can be free to move naturally, you should allow them in that space as often as possible. It's a small thing that makes all the difference for their heart and mind.

No preparation or conditioning for long rides:

"It's fall time, so let's go hunting..." But wait, have you ridden this horse all summer long to prepare for those long treks up the mountain? If not, just pause for a second and consider his or her experience. If you aren't willing to, or if you think it doesn't matter. Maybe you should buy a motorcycle instead, because, trust me, it matters. Walk a mile in their shoes and realize how important preparation and conditioning is to health and longevity. Offer your horse the best life you can, and when you want to ride, help him meet you in that space, don't just take him there.

Don't always ride for you:

Every once in a while, plan a ride that isn't about where you want to go, or what you want to see. Plan a ride that's structured to be a great experience for you horse. When I learned about this, I started planning weekly rides that took us to the best grazing areas around. After just a few weeks, my horse, one who used to resent riding away from the barn, showed all the signs of looking forward to our excursions. 

Let some things slide:

It's okay to let some minor things slide if it's not a safety issue. This one can be taken the wrong way. I don't mean to let the horse get away with murder. I mean if your horse doesn't like his ears being touched, take your time getting there. If he doesn't like the bit, ride without it. It's okay to adjust to your horse as long as he performs how you like and you know he is respectful if you need him to be. I once had a horse that didn't like being touched between her eyes. She'd let me do it. She was respectful, I made sure of that. But she didn't ever learn to love it. So... I let it go. I stopped making a mountain out of a molehill and I let it just be part of our quirky relationship. Be safe and don't let your horse get away with dangerous stuff just because he doesn't like it, but some small considerations are useful. Don't be uncompromising. Be a friend.

There are a million more. Such as... building up to your jumping, the importance of decent footing, not too many circles, understanding repetitive stress disorder, not disregarding tiny muscle stress in an effort to get the right lead, the right shape, the right attitude, the right response to a cue, etc., do less, end on a good one, give breaks and do it again tomorrow, build the small muscles, celebrate and build on small successes, reward often. It's all important. Just pick a few and focus on them this week. Then pick some more and get better in tune with your amazing equine partner.

Comment below. Share some small things you consider for your horse. I'm sure I've missed some, add them below. God bless, see you soon!

Don Jessop

If I've said it a thousand times... it may not have been enough. The way the human brain holds and uses memory is not always stellar. In other words, you can hear something once, then forget it, then days later, or even years later, hear it again and it seems like it's the first time. For instance. As a horse owner, you should spend time bonding with your horse outside of lesson time. Training is important for learning and progress but training without bonding is just plain inappropriate. Horses don't appreciate training, training, training, without bonding, bonding, bonding. 

Now I'm willing to bet, you've heard it before. Or, at least some version of it. Training and bonding need to balance out. Too much bonding without training and you get a horse that learns nothing and you can't take them outside their comfort zone. Too much training and you get a horse that's perfect, but totally resentful! So not perfect, not really. 

Now, here's where it gets interesting. I've repeated the same basic thing several times in the last two paragraphs. Will you remember it? Chances are, if you do remember it, it's because you've heard it before. MANY times before. See, the interesting thing about us is we hear things, but we need to see them, feel them, experience them, live with them for a while, then hear them again, and again and again. Repetition is the mother of skill. So if I want you to learn how important something is. I have to repeat it, over and over. And here's the kicker! I can't get frustrated by needing to repeat it. If I do, I risk losing your trust. Imagine if I yell at you for not remembering a conversation we had two days ago. How would you feel? Would you remember it better because I yelled at you. Or would you think more about how I feel about you than the very thing you were supposed to remember?

Learning, truly learning something takes constant... well... repetition. The only other way to truly learn something is to make the experience so emotionally charged, verging on trauma, that you'll never forget it. But we don't seek those kind of experiences with humans and horses. We seek basic communication and understanding in kind, compassionate ways. So the answer to getting something across is to repeat it, in kind, compassionate ways. 

The thing is, I know I'll have to repeat this message again. I know in a year or two another article will come out with a similar title and message. I know it because we need it. I need it. I need to remember as much as you need to. What we do in-between lessons matters. Little things matter. Loosening the cinch at the end of a ride matters, picking the feet before the ride matters, patiently asking the horse to accept the bit matters, waking the horse up slowly matters, flexible outcomes matter, preparing yourself to not be in a hurry matters, giving breaks matters because we all need breaks, all the little things matter. Horses remember details about you, about how kind you are when you ask for things, about how repetitive and persistent you can be to help something make sense. When they get it wrong. Instead of saying, "What the hell?" Say, "Oh, I knew this would come up again. Of course it would come up again." Be kind, patient, persistent. 

Be willing to be firm to get a point across, but not mean about it. Be willing to spend undemanding time after and between lessons to ensure your horse "remembers" you care about him or her. Because, trust me.... They forget about that really quickly.  

So I hope this helps. I hope you remember how much I care about you and how I know how we all learn. Some things stick better than others and we are slower to forget. Other times we need more time. I'll leave you with this... Nearly every year I have a big blinding flash of the obvious moment. Usually it's about something trivial, something I heard many years ago, and finally, it sinks in. Why does it sink in years later? You guessed it. I've heard it, felt it, seen it, lived it for long enough, that finally, it means something more to me.

Here is my latest "BFO" (blinding flash of the obvious):

I am filming a liberty course and my horse has sour ears. It doesn't look good and I don't like that he doesn't seem to like what he's doing. I want to change it and I search my memory for how to guide his expression from one of resentment about having to circle me without a rope to one of enjoyment as he wins a simple game. And then BANG! BFO comes right out of left field. I've been inadvertently punishing him for his ears back rather than allowing him to be that way and reward him only when his ears come forward. My timing was off and my own attitude was geared toward punishment rather than reward. I caught the whole thing on video, it's part of the Liberty course available to anyone in our Mastery Group or sold separately. Check it out.

In summary. Memory takes repetition. The more you repeat, the more it means, as long as it's done in a kind, compassionate way. So I'll repeat this one last thing in case you haven't heard it enough. YOU! ARE! AMAZING! I appreciate all you who choose to dig deep with me and read on.

Comment below and share with your friends. God bless

Don Jessop

I'm certain most horse people have had at least one horse that just didn't fit the mold. One that causes problems. One that is perhaps dangerous, or unsound, leading to lots of time and money and emotion trying to help them. And then comes the question of all questions... Should I get rid of them or open up and learn something valuable?

By the way, before we go further, I want you to know I have gotten rid of horses in the past for reasons that seemed important then but now I regret. So you need to know I hold no judgements against anyone who is trying to figure it all out and find their space in the wide world of horse experiences. Sometimes horses come and go and you don't have to spend all this energy trying to analyze it all holistically. But sometimes, taking a moment to understand what a horse can do for you and what you can do for them, even when you don't know if it's right yet, is worth the time.

Now that we're open to the truth that I will not judge you for your decisions to hold or let go of a horse, let's dive into the pool together and list what benefits there are in hanging on rather than letting go. In the end of course, you'll have to decide the best course of action but take what you can from this and let time do its work on you.

Why is this horse in my life?

So, you can't do what you'd hoped to do when you bought this horse for whatever reason... now what?

Well, as it turns out there are many things you can do. You can learn to be masterful at liberty! Guide your horse with no ropes to be connected, playful, controlled, elegant, artistic. Teach your horse to stay calm and lay down, or spin, or walk, trot, and canter on cue in a wide open field, trusting he or she won't leave you. It takes practice, it's a new discipline, but it's a noble pursuit for a horse that can't be or shouldn't be ridden just yet.

You could pour your attention to health care, and master the art of trimming, wrapping, supplements, you name it. Dive into what it takes to really help a horse thrive in our human world. Perhaps you can't trail ride, but you can support your horse and be an example to others to keep their horses around and make a good life for them.

Look, I'm practical. If you can't afford a horse, you probably shouldn't have one. But if you can't justify having a horse because you can't do what you thought you wanted, or its gonna take longer than you expected to get there, double check your motives. Why did you get a horse in the first place. Was it all about you? Are you willing to explore your options?  Are you going to jump into a different horse relationship because this one just doesn't fit the mold? I don't judge you. I've been there as I'll describe below. But just know, you're not alone and you do have options. The main option is making what you have meaningful and fruitful, rather than resenting what you don't have and moving on.

My journey in short form...

My journey started with Solare. An eleven-year-old Arabian chesnut gelding. Actually, it started one horse earlier, but Solare stands out in my memory because it was the first and last time, I let a horse go to the auction. At eighteen years old myself, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to win an endurance race. And it became apparent very quickly that he wouldn't help me achieve that goal because he was dangerous to ride. Coldly, not heartlessly, but ignorantly, after many months of attempted sales through the local newspaper, I decided to send him to the auction. In hindsight, I could have dove headfirst into horse psychology and tried to help him, but I didn't. Not yet anyway.

At the time, I could sense a pull on my heartstrings when he unloaded at the auction yard but didn't respond to it. I turned my eyes back to the prize and moved onto another horse, and another, never sending a horse to the auction again but rehoming many. Because I still didn't really see a horse for what it was and my eyes, well they just kept getting bigger, I wanted to win even more.

And finally, a horse named Prince came into my life. Another Arabian gelding made in the perfect mold, inspired by the God's. My dream horse. Prince was a true athlete. White as snow from head to toe, and unbelievably balanced and powerful, and strong in every way. But he was HOT! He loved to run. And then... one Saturday evening ride changed my life forever. That ride inspired a whole new outlook on horses, healing, and growth. That day my horse literally, and metaphorically, ran away with me. He took me on a journey I never imagined. One that has brought me full circle now to understanding that choice I made with Solare all those years ago. 

Imagine running at nearly thirty miles an hour on a twisted mountain road, with no brakes, very little steering, and a heart beating so fast, you're not sure if you're going to live or die. After more than a mile I finally gained control, pulled Prince up to a walking gait and gathered my shit together (not literally). As my heartbeat slowed, my mind and body began to feel something new, something inside the horse. I bonded with him at that point in way I didn't even know there was a word for. I now know it's called "trauma bonding." I felt him breathe. I felt his heart racing. I felt his thoughts, his fears, his desires. I saw the spirit in the horse, and not in that old standard way we talk about spirited horses. I saw through flesh and bone into his emotions, hopes, electric energy, and fatigue, physically, and mentally. I felt him looking for oxygen, and like me, finding it scarce. And I knew, I wasn't just riding a horse. I was riding, a thinking, breathing, feeling entity, not unlike... me!

I decided then and there I needed to learn more about the horses I loved. And I began my journey as a natural horse trainer, diving deep into horse psychology. Each year I learned more, and over the course of decades the reality of that day sank in deeper and deeper. In the beginning, I wanted a horse for me. In the end. I wanted to be something for my horse.

Many years later now and many horses later, I see the true value of a horse and I see the commitment required to truly be a steward of such a magnificent animal. Commitment means dedication to the cause. But what cause? Your cause to enjoy life, or the cause of ensuring your animals enjoy life too?

What we most often fail to realize in that choice to move onto another horse, is what we are missing. There is an opportunity with every challenging horse to grow as a leader. To become more natural, kinder, firmer, healthier, more balanced, more empathetic. To heal our hearts and minds. To give, rather than to take. It requires changing what we value. But perhaps it's worth it to you. It certainly took me a while, but I know the truth now. It's worth it to me to be the best steward I can.

If you'd asked me with Solare, all those years ago, to hang on to him because he'd help me grow as a leader, I'd say, "No thank you!" I get it. I remember focusing on my goals to win and not my new goals to truly care for and lead my horse to a new sense of freedom in our human world. I saw him as a vehicle. And he didn't fit the mold for what I wanted. I remember the labels I used for him too. "A pain in the butt. Dangerous. Horrible. Uncomfortable. Not as pretty as I want." All those labels helped me ship him off. But I know the truth. Those were excuses used to validate my desire to play my own game and not look at the animal's soul. To use the animal. It's harsh, but true. It's what many of us do until we see, truly see, the animal staring at us with questioning eyes. 

In a perfect world, before you even purchase a horse, you should take a deeper look at the meaning of the word "commitment." I was committed to winning but not committed to the horse. I believe, before you acquire a horse, you need to commit to the horse. Be his primary caretaker for as long as you can, and when it's time to move on, remember your commitment and find him a home that is as good or better than the one you offer. Don't just sell him or her. Don't just give them away. Ensure they have their friends, freedom (space to move), shelter, and food before you make arrangements to move on. Don't get a horse not knowing what you'd do if it doesn't work out as planned. 

Prince changed my life, my experience, and my perspective.  I'm deeply grateful for him and every horse before and after. I know why my horses are in my life. What about you? Why is your horse in your life now? Dig deep and answer below. 

Also, I want to hear your horse story. What horse have you decided to not let go, and as a result, you've been impacted on a deep change level?

Please comment below.

Imagine you own a horse. Now imagine that your horse sucks at something, or anything!

Let's say he doesn't do well with cantering on a left lead and you find yourself avoiding it because it's hard work. Or... let's say your horse is hard to catch and you just deal with it every day because you're not sure what to do about it. Or... let's say your horse is highly distractible and unreliable away from his comfort zones and you bravely try to win his heart and mind but ultimately just stick to his comfort zones. Any one of those problems, and any other problem for that matter, hides secret information about how to breakthrough the problem. Shall I go on? Are you interested in diving in with me?

The thing about all problems, is they aren't just problems. They're also gifts, and often just reframing the word itself puts you in a position to learn. Let's pretend your problem is a gift for a minute or two here. Can you do that with me?

Inside the problem exists the solution. All you have to do is know what to look for. Today I'm going to break it down as simple as possible so you can go out and be more successful right away. 

For every single thing a horse does, three things are required.

1. The body must align with the task. Horse won't canter on a left lead but will on the right. Guess what. The alignment is off, time to head to the tire center and get it sorted out. Don't waste any more time trying to force the lead, instead work on getting the alignment necessary to get the lead. You can do that kind of work in the walk and trot. 

2. The electric energy must be balanced. Is either too high or too low? When it's too high, you get jumpy, erratic movements. Too low and you get sluggish movements. Don't waste any more time practicing the maneuver. Instead, call the electrician and tighten the wires or turn down the voltage. In the case of the correct lead work, you may notice your horse is too jumpy in the transition leaving no time to get the alignment you need. Slow down, get smoother transitions in the other gaits, then come back up and work again. Or you may notice he's too sluggish off your leg. Take a minute to jump start your horse with a little extra electricity and big reward for giving the energy you want. In the event your horse is physically unwell, you'll need to dive into that solution differently. Perhaps with professional support.

3. Your horse must focus. If your horse is distracted, thinking about his food, or mates, or a scary thing over there, the likelihood of success goes down. Instead of trying to get the lead, get his attention. Don't waste your time with anything else. If the distraction is dangerous in anyway, don't be nice about your safety. Get what you need done to be safe for both of you.

Now, if you can read, alignment, electric energy, and concentration, you can do something about it. If you can't read it, you're out of luck until you learn how to read it. We have a whole course designed to help you. It's called Horse Psychology 101. Click here!

The bottom line is... when the horse is showing you a problem, he or she is also exposing the solution. A little nous, hard work, practice, persistence, and you can win over your horse and get past the problem. But please just remember this. The problem is not something you should avoid. Tackle it delicately, or firmly, or whateverly, but don't avoid it. People who avoid things get nowhere with their horse. If you're reading this article, you've made a conscious decision to not be an avoidaholic. Next level, here we come!

And, oh yeah... don't forget, by focusing on that problem, that one big problem with the intent to get past it every day. Within a week or two you're going to notice a completely different horse. Take for instance. The famous trailer loading incident. True Story... A woman brings a horse to us for trailer loading issues. Don't ask how she got the horse there. It was ugly. She says, "Keep him until he's good but DO NOT ride him or do anything but trailer loading." We say, "Okay, no problem, just trailer loading, no riding, got it!"

Two weeks later she returns. The horse is loading like a champion, absolutely no hesitation and travelling about short trips with no anxiety. A couple of weeks focus on solving a big problem goes a long way. But her response a day after she returned home with her horse caught us all by complete surprise. She called, fuming! Angry about what we'd done. She said, "I told you not to ride this horse!" We responded with the truth that we hadn't ridden the horse. But she wasn't convinced, and she continued to explain how "it's impossible that you didn't because before the horse came it was struggling with basic riding concepts and now was behaving as if there was no struggle at all. Willing, content to respond, and trained!" Ahhhhh... Ironic, right? She didn't realize that by solving the trailer loading issues all the other issues dissipated too. So don't forget. Solving the big problem solves many problems. The key to the next level is in fact the conscious choice to tackle a big problem your horse has on a super simple level from picking up feet, to catching, to loading, to saddling, to mounting, to jumping when he spooks instead of pausing or holding his ground, to gaits and leads, you name it. Define a problem, tackle it elegantly and watch your horse advance within weeks and sometimes mere days.

Please comment below, I love hearing from you each and every time!

Natural horsemanship gets a bad rap and if you want to know why, I've already written an article about it "The Reason Performance Riders Hate Natural Horsemanship." But I'm compelled to write again.

I've met many colleagues and students who fell for the same trap I did when I started in the natural horsemanship industry more than twenty years ago. The trap... believing that you can crouch in a field and smell like a carrot and your horse will connect his spirit with yours and you'll communicate via the magic of telepathy for the rest of your happily ever after. Said differently, it's the belief that if you just get good enough, your horse won't question you anymore, he or she will just be and do whatever you need, cause he trusts you and you have a special bond. 

This trap is real. I fell for it when I bought my first course. I saw how elegant and sophisticated the professionals presenting were. I dreamed of doing that myself. The overarching theme was "love, language, and leadership." And I believed, whether or not it was truly presented that way, that the bond and trust were the keys to success. When in reality, they were just bonuses for the horse. 

What do I mean? Thousands of horse professionals, for thousands of years now, have been forcing their horses to successful status without the bond or any kind of trust, just shear compliance training. Which means, put bluntly, you don't need the bond or trust to be successful. Unless... you view achievement without trust, not actually being successful. I see it that way. I hate seeing a horse comply but still hate their life.

But let me be clear. Perhaps clearer than I've ever been. The bond and trust DO NOT lead to higher levels of achievement. Only dedicated practice and firm, clear boundaries set persistently lead to high achievement. With practice those corrections that seem obvious in the beginning become very elegant, almost hidden, but don't fool yourself like I did. The corrections are still there. There is no telepathy going on between horse and rider. It's all training. There is obviously communication happening through body cues and voice cues and such, but those subtle signals are also made through repetitive training. The trainers that add in bonding... have happier horses, there is no doubt about that. It's a great bonus for sure, one worth pursuing, but don't get confused.

The truth is this, master horse trainers are masters because they've seen it all, they've tried it all. They know what the horse is apt to do and preemptively guide a different result in their favor. That's not magic, that's practice. It takes years to be that good. Sometimes people get sold on the magic of being that good and think it's a technique, or a feel born of this natural bond between horse and human. It's not! It's practice. That doesn't diminish the value of bond and trust exercises with your horse. In my opinion they are a must. Without them, you are just another abusive horse owner. In my book "Leadership and Horses" I share the 50/50 rule I live by. 50% bonding/50%training. Not enough bonding, you may still taste success, but your horse hates it. Not enough training, and you'll never get outside the trot and outside the arena walls. It takes both dedicated training and bonding to truly become great.

The whole point here is this. Setting boundaries, establishing a clear training path, being a real coach to a great athlete, or parent to a great kid, requires discipline and focus. "Being nice" isn't always an option. It would be super if it was, but reality creates situations where being firm and clear is more important than being nice. A great trainer knows this and will risk the relationship with the horse to get the result, knowing they will be able to go back and get the relationship back in the bonding and trust exercises. Every great coach knows this. Every great parent knows this. 

What we must do is look to the greats, not for how elegant and refined they can be, although that is pretty, but for how dedicated and willing they are to explore the full spectrum of leadership. 

I'll end with this. It's nice to be nice... just don't expect anything grand to ever happen. If you want more, you'll have to discover a leader in you that's willing to create plans, set boundaries, be disciplined. Since you're already probably very nice, you can allow that part to flow more naturally and put your energy into the rest.

Thanks for reading! I look forward to your comments.

PS. Natural horse training masters aren't always nice, they just get really, really good at sugar coating the firmness. So good, you might not even notice it when it happens. Keep a keen eye. Just because a person is kind and rewarding, it doesn't mean they aren't firm. I can literally demonstrate that for you. I can show you how I get results while being kind, not by being kind, but while being kind.

Don't fall for the magic tricks. Instead, make a new kind of magic. For me, when I finally realized the truth that is wasn't some "nirvana state of awareness" that leads to success, I began making the journey to better my techniques, feel, timing, style, and emotional control, my new magic. The journey became the magic. The journey to help a horse trust the process became the magic. The smile on a students face as the horse began to understand a cue, became the magic. The magic is still there. It's just the kind of magic we can all experience and learn. You don't have to be gifted or special, or part horse. You just have to be willing to open your eyes to what it really takes and decide if you're up for the challenge!

Be sure to comment. I truly love hearing from you! 

Last week we talked about not riding a hungry horse.

This week. Let's dive just a bit deeper to cover three related topics.

Let's begin with eating while riding...

I used to ride endurance races. Fifty miles as fast as my horses could take me. There were two goals in every endurance race for every competitive rider. Goal number one: be the first across the finish line. Goal number two: Get in the top ten but receive the honored "best condition score." Which means, your horse proved to be the healthiest of all the other racers. I won several best condition scores and I attribute those wins, in part, to the fact I would let my horse eat while riding. Exercise consumes calories. Therefore exercise requires calories. I find that when people don't let their horses eat while riding they could be missing out on some needed calories. 

On the other hand... Some horses clearly don't need the calories and they are eating out of habit. Should you help that horse not eat? I would. I would use riding time to help the horse learn to focus and only eat during short breaks where it's my idea instead of his or hers. 

But what about eating with the bit? Okay... easy answer. You choose! Here are the pros and cons. Pro, your horse gets calories. Con, your bit gets messy and it's harder for the horse to eat correctly. Pro, you get to reward your horse for good behavior and create a deeper bond. Con, your horse can develop a habit and pull the reins out of your hands. I am constantly balancing these pros and cons and assessing daily what should happen. One thing you'll learn about me as a horse trainer is I don't make hard line rules. My intent is to guide you to deeper understanding so you can make your own judgements. Knowledge is power!

Number 2: How much do horses need to eat and how often?

Horses need between 2 to 3 percent of their body weight in food every day, generally speaking. 1000lb horse equals 20-30 pounds of food per day. That seems like a lot, because it is a lot and it should speak to the fact that you can't just run a horse ragged and expect them to keep their weight. But the next part of the question about how often they need to eat is up for debate. Sure, people say you should let them eat all day. Some people say you should feed them twice a day leaving windows where they don't eat at all. Others let their horses go hog wild on green grass while others are more consciously managing their sugars and calories.

At the end of the day, if your horse is healthy, you're probably doing something right. But one thing is certain. Horses don't eat all day. Even given the opportunity to eat all day they simply don't. They give themselves rest time and play time. So if you think your horse going without food for a couple hours, while you help him learn a new skill is bad for him, think again. They can totally do it. Keep everything in a balanced perspective and you can help them reduce their stress and keep learning while having fun and staying focused during training. They don't need to eat every second of the day. And if your horse is trying to convince you he does need to. Either he's hungry and you should read last weeks article or he's taking over your allowing it. Food for thought!

Number 3: How and when should you give treats?

This is the hottest topic of all. Should you give treats? Read this article to learn a bit more: "To Treat of Not to Treat"

Generally speaking, treats aren't a big deal either way. If you use them for training and you see they help you, not just bond, but grow too, then you're doing great. If the horse takes over and gets distracted or grabby about treats, you may want to think about how to deliver them differently to avoid bad behavior or just avoid using treats all together. I like to use treats but I have a rule. My horse isn't allowed to ask for them. If he asks by nudging me or digging in my pockets he doesn't get it. If he opens up like an alligator I hold them back then too. But if he behaves well and opens softly I'll often give my horse treats. It's a great way to bond and train emotions. Just keep this in mind... If he's anxiously grabbing for a treat, what emotion are you training? Sometimes it doesn't matter if he just did some amazing task because he's already forgotten what you wanted and he's anxious again because of the treats. Be careful to reward emotions, not just tasks.

Here is a simple illustration to understand what horses learn: Example... training the jump.

Horse jumps jump on command then anxiously dives toward you for his treat reward. Sure he learned to jump, but he also learned to anxiously dive toward you. Which will he remember? Food for thought again, right? You're always training more than just tasks. You're training emotions too and food treats will either hinder or help you.

Hope this all helps.

As always, I love your comments and feedback. Share and comment below.

PS. New book arrival, get it now before the end of the month sale is over!

Except when you have to. 

Good advice right?

Straight forward and simple. 

Let's dive in a bit deeper. When you're hungry, what's your attention span like? Are you focused or cranky? Most of us get cranky and distracted and look for anything that resembles food. Well, guess what... horses are similar. Instead of playing nice, they get crabby, trying to eat all the time, and it quickly becomes a fight instead of fun day. It can turn a good day into a bad day.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes, you have to persist past the hunger to get a job done. Even as I sit to write this article I feel the tingle of hunger in my belly and I know I need to refuel soon. But I can certainly hold my focus in spite of it. And therein lies the challenge. When a horse is hungry it's hard to hold the focus, but sometimes, horses think they are hungry when really they are frustrated, or bored. Have you ever eaten because you're frustrated or bored? I know someone named Jon Dessop who has done the same from time to time. But the trick is knowing when it's a real need for calories and a habit of eating that ensues. 

How do you know? I mean with a horse? One simple way is to feed them an hour before you ride or play. If, while you're playing they are still trying to eat, well then... you might have a habitual eater. In which case, it's okay to demand more focus and use food as a reward rather than a distraction. But if you find your horse doesn't want to eat while playing, with you or riding (up to a certain time because obviously they'll need food again) then you're in good shape. You did right by your horse by letting them fuel up before expending exercise. 

Naturally it would be wise to warm up slowly, so you don't give them stomach cramps. That's always a good plan. But at least you know your horse isn't starving and slowly building resentment about being caught because he's hungry every time you ride. 

If your horse is that habitual eater just because he can, and he already weighs in  fifty pounds overweight then it's perhaps time to train your horse to focus in spite of the need to eat. At this point, let's not call it hunger. It's a habit and it's totally curable. Just don't allow it! Tell your horse he can have food when the job is done. Just be fair and don't change the job on him half way through. I can't tell you how many times I've had to correct that with new students. They ask for one thing only to immediately ask for a new thing that just showed up in their mind without even giving the horse a break.

Good horsemanship means you honor your horse's experience, and guide them to be smarter, calmer, braver, more responsive, less distracted, and generally, a good citizen. If your horse isn't smarter this week than last, or less distracted, or more responsive, and braver, then you're possibly missing something simple in your program. We can help. Click this link...

I'm literally a phone call away. Have a question, call me. The first tele-conference is completely free for new students. I want to help. Click here

And remember, comment below, share your thoughts and click this link to get our latest online courses and books.

Sincerely,

Don Jessop

PS. Tune in for another article, even more in-depth article on eating: It's about whether or not you let them eat while riding and carrying a bit. It's also about how horses aren't really 24/7 grazers. We'll also cover snack, treats, when to and when not to treat, and more. All coming soon. Subscribe to the email list to keep getting updates. Thanks for tuning in. See you soon. 

Simplify your day with less on your plate. I mean your horse's plate. When I started training horses a million years ago, I joined a natural horsemanship program. I loved the program in many ways and still do. 

Many moons ago. There came to be a game we played. It was called 7 games in 7 minutes. We had to demonstrate all the techniques we knew in less than seven minutes and as fun as it sounds... it also created quite a bit of tension in the horses when asked to perform. Why? Because asking a horse for too many things all at once is confusing. 

Here's what we know about horses. They think, emotionally, like a four-year-old child. Distracted, anxious under pressure, confused easily, etc. Imagine being in preschool where... on day one you learn about the "ABC's" only to find out that on day two you have to remember them and recite them perfectly plus learn you times tables or else there will be no lunch break for you, or worse, severe berating from your teacher. Can you imagine that kind of pressure? Believe it or not, we inadvertently put our horses under that kind of pressure all the time. 

We put them under pressure because we often forget that just because a horse can "do" something, it doesn't mean they actually "get it," or have "learned it." So, when you do you know if a horse really learns? It's easy to think they learned because... when you ask, they respond. But do they really know it?

Luckily, it's easy enough to find out. Take the rope off, take the bridle off, take the fence away. Take away the strings on the puppet and see if the puppet still performs. It's a crude illustration but it lends to the truth about deeper learning not just surface learning. When we played seven games in seven seconds we were playing with a puppet on a string. Really, all we were testing for is how good the puppeteer is, not how much the horse understands and is okay with.

Again, sorry for the crude illustration. All I want to do is suggest that a horse learning can be just as enriching as a horse doing. A lot of the value horse people get up front is in the satisfaction of maneuvering a horse through space and time, but master trainers look for something more, something magical. In the human world, we call it "understanding."

But to accomplish such a worthy task requires a few special skills. Namely, don't stack on the tasks all at once. Learn in layers. Learn something so well that you can perform without any extra support from a stick, rope, bridle, fence, saddle, you name it. Then, only then, add the next layer.

Let me give you an example. Imagine the task Piaffe (generally known as trotting in place). A good puppeteer will guide the horse to move off the bit, and leg and stick, and fence, and whatever tool to start dancing in place. A master horseman will break the task down to the smallest form and truly teach the horse each piece, slowly stacking them together over a long period of time until the horse responds, not out of fear of not responding but out of true understanding and willingness and even happiness because the task is so rewarding and even, if done right, autotelic. Autotelic means the task itself becomes the reward. In the case of piaffe, the smallest, earliest step has nothing to do with the legs and more to do with the balance of the horse shifting. So, teach the balance shift, then the next part and the next and the next until finally, you have a horse performing in peak mental and physical condition. Who doesn't want that? I know I do!

So back to the beginning here. Too many tasks, stacked all together can be confusing. You may be able to manage it because you're a great horse manager. I know lots of great horse managers that call themselves trainers. But what about the horse's experience? How much does he/she actually absorb in the managing process? I think it's kind of an important question, don't you?

Food for thought... Learn in layers. Be okay with slower progress and find the value and enrichment in your experience with horses based more on their understanding and less on their feet and body moving mechanically through space.

Comment below, you know how I loooooovve hearing from you!

And in case you want more. Check out my books, courses and more right here! 

It's here! The first proof has arrived for my new book "The Beginners Guide to Foundation Training."  For the month of July we are giving you 20% off, if you pre-order in July using the code JULY20%OFF.  Books are coming soon.   

The two most common questions I get from students are "What's missing and what's next?" So here it is, the answer to those questions!

You do not have to be a beginner to get a lot out of this step by step guide. This fully illustrated book will you help you go back and fill in the holes in your foundation. Have you ever wondered why your flying lead changes aren't working, or you horse is still scared of the same old thing, or your horse struggles to lie down on command? Guess what! It's in the foundation!

The "Beginner’s Guide to Foundation Horse Training" contains 34 distinct steps, designed to give you a direction, a map, a step by step process, and a guide for that process. The message I want to give is, “Come with me, I’ll show you a path to help you and your horse to have a great partnership and some fun along the way.”

The foundation is the basis for everything you want to do with a horse. To prepare you for your next steps whether it is readiness for trail riding, upper-level training such as advanced liberty, bridle less riding, competitive, or collected riding. Foundation training is not about tools and techniques. It’s about progress through a basic syllabus using the tools you have in order to advance to higher level horsemanship and deeper levels of mastery. Keep in mind, a good foundation is built on trust. In most cases, before you can build trust, you have to be seen as a leader. This book starts with leadership and builds on trust.

This 34 step syllabus, fully illustrated with vibrant color pictures, comes to you today at an affordable price to help you to move forward toward your dreams and goals.

Click here to get your copy today!

 Whoa their Nelly! Don't run away with me.

If horses were a metaphor for life, wouldn't it be great? It seems if that were true, we could use the examples of leadership needed in guiding a horse to become a partner and transfer that information to our human experience. 

Imagine a runaway horse. Now imagine a runaway addiction, or any other human problem. Both need to be guided, reined in, controlled, sometimes with tough love, and sometimes with patient love. It doesn't mean the horse should be trapped or imprisoned, it just means it shouldn't run away with you, leaving you in massive danger. 

Let's take a look at a few human problems and use the metaphor of horse training to help understand how to lead with grace through those problems.

First things first, "I ain't no psychologist so don't go 'round thinking I is!

This is all just observations from a human who loves leadership training. I'm always open to deeper learning from you and everyone on the planet.

-Using horse training to understand shame!

Have you ever felt shame? I'm not talking about guilt. That's different. Guilt is feeling like your actions are the problem (easy to change). Shame is where you feel like YOU are the problem (not so easy to change). So, play with me here. Answer the question. Have you ever felt shame? Like you are not worthy, like you don't measure up? I lost my niece a year ago to that feeling. She left planet earth because she felt inadequate. In such dire emotions, is there something we can do? Of course, there is! But we have to understand the same thing great horse trainers understand. Grace! When a horse screws something up, the below average horse trainer will often revert to aggressive, angry tactics to force the horse to comply and "never do that thing again." Quite literally shaming the horse.  The above average trainer uses grace in those moments. A firm boundary must be set in times of safety but learning that boundaries shouldn't be coupled with fear and intimidation is important. Boundaries should be coupled with grace. The knowledge that it's normal to screw up. Everyone does it. Everyone is inadequate, that all feelings, including this one, will pass, opening the door for new, empowering thoughts and feelings. Had my niece been able to give herself some grace in that moment she would still be here today. It's heavy to think about, but imperative to teach. Heavy emotions require a large amount of grace and understanding.

-How 'bout depression? How would using the metaphor or horse training lend insights in to dealing with depression?

Well. More grace would help, right? But there's more. All the best horse trainers know something special about leadership and guiding a horse to peak performance. First, we dive deep into chemistry. Often there are chemical imbalances in the horses we're working with, so we look for ways to mitigate that with supplements and so on. But one of the most direct methods for changing chemistry in the body is by stimulating the body through healthy exercise and activities. My daughter is fourteen now and going through a "I'd rather sit and look at my phone stage." Her energy can plummet, and her emotions can match it." Is it chemical? Absolutely. Growing requires enormous energy and transitioning from a girl to a woman requires shifting that extraordinary biological makeup. So perhaps, like a horse trainer, ensuring the right balance of nutrients, minerals, oxygen, supplements, etc., will all help keep things moving in the right direction. Plus... perhaps exercise would benefit the issue too. Sure, it sucks to exercise when all you want to do is NOT exercise, but after... you feel sooooo good. The chemistry can change via body movement.  I'll never forget Tony Robbins talking about emotions and simply splitting the term in half. "e-motion!" Motion is a big part of emotion. Stop moving and die! So, Keep Moving! Sure, we need to rest, recharge. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about habitually dropping the exercise routine. It's unhealthy. It simply doesn't help any horse and maybe, it's useful to use that metaphor for humans too.

-How 'bout inappropriate behavior like lust or addiction? How could we use horse training to guide such extremely normal human behavior?

Well, once again. How about a little grace? Everyone experiences these things. With horses... and you must know it happens to horses too, boundaries have to be set. Imagine a stallion in training deciding that paying attention to his mother nature calling is more important that paying attention to his rider. Someone's getting hurt, and someone's getting pregnant. It's completely reasonable, therefore, to take the time to set boundaries. Not in the heat of the moment, but long before that moment. One thing equine therapist do for addicts is to simply teach them... to teach the horse... boundaries. Once the horse learns boundaries, the horse is easy to handle and bond with. But it was never about the horse. It was about themselves, guiding a wild animal (very similar to the instinctive human brain) to stay calm and be aware. To take a step back and see where this leads so in the future, we have tools to react differently. When that person, the addict, actually teaches the horse to respect boundaries, to not run away and not step on toes, that human learns the value of boundaries even more. Great horse trainers are always aware of boundaries and their horses are always respectful. It just so happens that most of the best horse trainers I know are also respectful people. They carry themselves differently, with integrity, kindness, keen awareness and more. It's like they used their training and crossed it over into the human world. (I'd be lying if I said they were all that way.) But those trainers that forget to crossover their knowledge, simply did just that. They forgot.

How about joy? Oooooohhhhh! This is a good one! Clearly joy isn't a problem. Joy is the opposite of a problem, but did you know that great horse trainers know how to infuse joy into the horse's experience? They even know how to train joy. Quite literally guiding the horse to that emotion and rewarding the expression of joy. Joy seems so elusive, so circumstantial, but have you ever met someone who is happy almost all the time regardless of pain, or horrible life circumstances? I have. These people are special because they are rare. But what's magical, is they aren't special because it's written in their DNA, they are special because they have literally learned the language of joy and continually practice it. That's right. I said language. Every emotion has a language set with it. And physiology that goes along with it too and focus patterns.

A joyful person tracks and checks their focus patterns, their language patterns and their physiology to ensure they don't become some other emotion. It is practice. Don't confuse lucky with practice. Everyone gets lucky and experiences joy, but anyone can learn to guide the experience too. We do that for our horses. We help change their focus patterns, their physiology through motion, their language patterns (internal thoughts, in their case), all related to an experience. Every good horse trainer knows that a sound horse can jump a jump. But a grumpy horse doesn't want to. With practice guiding those three things (focus pattern, internal dialogue, and physiology) the grumpy horse falls in love with jumping, looking forward to it every day!

So Rome wasn't built in a day. And not all human problems crossover perfectly, naturally, but I've always found it enriching to see how closely our instinct is to the instinct of the horse. It's like mother nature made us the same in so many ways. From that perspective, I find deep meaning in the values of leadership and life enriching activities for our horses and of course, for us too. Because if horses were a metaphor for life, wouldn't it be great?

I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you'd like more. Sign up and also... comment below. I loooove hearing from you!

Don Jessop

You asked for it, so here it is.  This just might be the most powerful tool in the whole tool kit when it comes to teaching horses about focus and rideability. 

I call it the flapping turtle because it's so easy to remember and, it looks just like... a flapping turtle.

Watch the video and learn how to master the game so your horse never runs over you, never loses focus, becomes a fantastic riding partner for riders of any age and skill level and also becomes an expert mountain trail horse. 

Welcome back.. Did that video help? Let us know. Comment below and share with your friends

By the way... a new book is coming soon. It's called the Beginners Guide to Foundation Horse Training and it's full color with 34 steps to help you fill in your holes in training and to help advance your horse to the perfect partner. 

by Don Jessop

Okay... let's keep this short and sweet because honestly, it wouldn't be a shortcut if it took longer :)

These are 5 things I do regularly to help horses become smarter, sooner!

1. Knock over the kingpin

Imagine bowling pins standing at the of that long wood plank. The big, heavy ball rolls toward those pins, aimed at the "kingpin." The first pin has the ability to knock all the others over too. All you have to do is hit that first pin just right and the rest will come easy. 

Horses have "kingpins." There are things that, when you fix them, almost everything else starts to work better. Finding those things takes some creativity but it's worth the work because it's a major shortcut to a smarter horse when you find it and address it. Here's a short story to illustrate...

I once met a horse that wouldn't stand still for much of anything. The woman who owns the horse said she didn't know what to do so I encouraged her to tell me about the spot on the horse that is the hardest to touch. She said the mouth area around the lips and tongue. So, I encouraged her to work daily on the mouth area, touching every chance she got, even making whole sessions out of just helping the horse be okay with that touch. One month later she emailed me and said her horse could not only stand for touching the mouth but could stand for literally everything else too. In other words, she found her kingpin. What's yours? In case you're not sure, call me. I can help. First call is free for new students! Click here.

2. Tight spot training, logs, tarps, ropes, barrels

Generally, horses aren't very good at things that make them feel claustrophobic. So... in the spirit of looking for kingpins, I often begin this training early. Instead of avoiding claustrophobic things. I engage in them. A rope wrapped around the belly, flank, or lower legs, can really scare a horse, so... Make it happen. I mean, try to be slow, kind, and natural in your approach, but don't avoid it. It's a major shortcut to a smarter horse. Walk your horse between two upright barrels standing too close together. Help her walk through that space. The barrels will fall and she'll realize she can walk through scary places. Then do it again and again until all the electric energy is gone. Play in and near the horse trailer often instead of only using it for traveling. It's a nice tight spot for training the horse and shortcutting to a smarter, more mature partner.

3. Head down training

Horses that carry their head high do so for a variety of reasons. But science has shown us enough about how horses use their body and brain in conjunction that a lower headset allows for better blood flow to all the muscles, including the brain muscle. I don't like my horses head dragging on the ground, I just like a nice, soft, lower neck. If that neck is tight, holding the head up high, it's a simple solution. Spend time teaching (not forcing) the head to come to a more neutral posture related to the rest of the body. Think about a quiet horse at rest. That's a wonderful headset posture that can be maintained for all but the most athletic endeavors. If you spend more time on head down training and less on canter departures. You'll have a smarter horse is less time. Trust me, it's worth it. There are lots of different ways to ask the head down. Just be nice, natural, and kind about it.

4. Stand in the box

Horses that don't stand, don't do most other things well too. Oh, they might jump the moon for you, or win the race, but they are quite literally going bananas on the inside. They are stressed! Or... overly excited and distracted. Either way, do you really want to reward that by just letting it go. NO! Take the time to teach standing. Think of it like a gait. Walk, trot, canter, stand. I like a well rounded, smarter horse. Not a robot or wild thing. Standing in the box simply means standing where you put them last. If they drift around to some other area it's okay, just not as effective. For instance, if you start saddling on the north side of the ring and finally get the saddle on when you reach the south side of the ring, you might want to think more local. The box is a space, just big enough to hold a horse, that can be drawn in the sand with the heel of your boot. Try it out, do it regularly and notice how your horse becomes so much smarter.

5. Turtle slow walk 

Horses are bigger than humans. At least that's what I've noticed. Therefore their pace when walking is their own. But what if you could cause them to adapt to a slower pace. Imagine walking as slow as a turtle while leading your horse. Imagine that horse trying to crowd you, or walk around you. But you keep correcting the horse to encourage him to stay at your pace, slow as a turtle. If you did this for a week and nothing else, you'd be amazed at how much smarter, more aware, more alert, and calmer your horse is. Then imagine doing that riding. I like to practice fast and slow paces in every gait. Starting with slow makes a bigger dent on the safety communication however so it's better to start slow. You can have so much fun teaching your horse the turtle slow walk. I'll even send a video if you'd like to learn more. Comment below if you'd like a video of the turtle slow walk.

Thanks for reading. I can't wait to see you all soon!

Don Jessop

Hello all you fabulous readers! This one's just for fun.

One of my favorite poems is written by Chalsey Wilder and it's called, "Two Dead Boys." My mother read it to me as a kid and you can Read it here. It's all backwards. Every phrase comically opposes the first. Phrases like, "Back to back they faced each other," and "Ask the blind man, he saw it too."

Following up... my wife and daughter agreed to help write a similar silly poem about horses. All backwards, all just having fun. Hope it makes you smile!

A Ride to Remember

Ladies and gentlemen, both lost and found,
I'll tell you a story most correctly unsound.
Of a midnight ride so bold, bright, and blurry,
with me and my horse in a slow motion hurry.
...
One dark night in the middle of the day,
my miniature draft horse ambled in for some hay.
Without speaking a word I began to talk,
of running to the barn ' fast as I could walk.

Through the big open door to a room filled with tack,
where I pulled out my saddle to ride bareback.
My horse, always aware of my manic state,
never failed to ignore me at an alarming rate.

I panicked and paced at the edge of the fence
while patiently waiting for this all to make sense.
At last, I bravely stood and sat on my horse,
only to be bucked off!!! I held on of course.

Off into the sunset, wet with morning due,
we rode all day 'til my feet were worn through.

We stopped at a dry creek for a long thirsty drink
and with water in our bellies, we began to think.

Where were we going on this meaningless ride,
so far from the ocean and close to the tide?
So we turned toward home and dropped to the floor
for a sleepless night on that bright sunny shore.

And when we finally awoke we noticed the time
Then raced back before the twelve o'clock chime
When we finally arrived, just before we departed,
with our minds understandably broken-hearted,

we shivered with relief from the harrowing ride,
completely discontented, yet... smiling inside.
At last, we stood at a distance, just inches apart,
knowing every good end can have a bad start.

It's a memorable tale we'll all soon forget
of that wild experience with my favorite pet.

And...

in case you doubt my faulty tale is true,
it's totally fine, I understand, I'm confused too.

Comment below, you know I love hearing your thoughts. I hope to bring a smile to you face and a brighter light in our fantastic, strange world.

Blessings to you!

Don Jessop

"My horse made me feel... scared, angry, frustrated, etc."

Insert big buzzer sound indicating I got that wrong!

Did he make me feel that? Or did I go there? The truth is, if I remained in those negative emotions, I allowed myself to go there. Perhaps you grew up believing emotions were unguided reactions to circumstances and you didn't know you could control your reactions. I certainly believed that for quite some time. But now we know better. We know you can control our emotions. How do we know? Because that's exactly what horse training is. It's controlling and conditioning responses to stimulus. We can literally teach a horse to react in a positive way to a negative stimulus. Therefore, if we can do it with a horse... we can do with ourselves.

The truth is, nobody and nothing can make you feel something for any length of time. That doesn't mean people and things don't affect us. Of course, they do. We get triggered just like a horse gets spooked. But we need to avoid blaming the trigger for the unconscious choice to remain triggered, or to remain hurt, or frustrated, or nervous.

Two stories:

I played basketball as a teenager and we, meaning the whole team, were abused verbally by the coach. It hurt so bad, and I didn't understand yet about owning emotions, I held onto resentment for five years after graduating high school. I blamed my coach for all things negative in my life. I imagined a life with a better coach and assumed I'd be successful and happy. I compared my two lives at the time and remained resentful.  

The point I'm making is I allowed the trigger to become the constant. Then... one day, fortunately for me, a dear friend invited me to study with an expert in human psychology and leadership. Guess what I learned? I am in control of my feelings. AND... I can learn to be in better control with awareness and practice.

I know a lot of people don't want to be cognitive about their reactions to life and horses. I get it. I didn't either. I was fueled in some perverse way when I was resentful.  But I also was not healthy. There are those who say, "I am this way," and those who say, "I acted this way." The latter is a much more powerful tool for change.

Take all this context now in contrast to horse people. When a horse misbehaves, do you find yourself frustrated? Triggered? Fearful? If so, do you own that feeling as an action on your part, or do you blame the horse, or people, or circumstance, or life?

Second story...

The big bay horse in my hand leapt up and kicked out with his hind legs over and over. I was on high alert. I couldn't let him hurt me or hurt himself as I patiently worked toward helping him enter the horse trailer. He wanted nothing to do with it from years of inadvertently learning to exit the trailer and quite literally running away. There were moments that I feared I'd lose him as he pulled hard on the line, and moments I thought I'd be crushed as he lunged forward through my personal space. In one single session, with little provocation from me except to gently guide him near the trailer, this horse reacted with enough vigor to scare even a seasoned horse trainer. And as a result, this horse triggered every emotion in me. Fear, frustration, sadness, excitement, and more. But none of those emotions stuck. I kept checking my breathing, checking my thoughts, checking my heart rate, checking my goals and diminishing the goals to support progress, always ensuring I could lead without holding negative emotion. 

I could have gotten mad. We can imagine how that would have gone. This was a twenty two year old horse that knew how rear, kick, pull, and leap forward, like he'd been doing it his whole life. And in fact he had! Did I feel mad? Was I triggered at times? Yes. He nearly injured me many times. Did I remain mad? NO! The feeling never lasted more than three seconds because I owned my experience. That's always the key. Don't blame circumstance. Own the experience!

I could have gotten fearful? We can imagine how that would go too. He'd only reinforce his ability to take over and do what he wanted regardless of what's safe. I had to stand my ground. In fact I had to move to a safe place so I could stand my ground. I encourage all my students that encounter extreme horses to use the best spaces to demonstrate clearer leadership. Like teaching a dangerous horse to back with a fence between you. He learns, and you both stay safe until the skills are higher.

The point is... I kept checking my emotions. I try to notice my reaction to the experience I'm having. I own my emotional decisions. I do this with people too. If someone hurts me, I understand that's a trigger, but if I remain hurt, I understand that's a decision. My decision! Only when I own it do I have the ability to lead again. To be free again. 

Some things sting more than others. For instance, if your horse bites you and draws blood.  This will cause trepidation in your day to day exchanges. That's normal. Being hyper aware and on guard is normal and even important at times. But check your decisions. Do you blame the horse for how you feel, or do you own it, and find ways to change it. Either by guiding the horse to new behaviors or guiding yourself to healthier perspectives?

Thanks for reading dear friends. You inspire me to write! Comment below and share your experiences.

And... case you didn't know, our step by step courses are available to you now and in a fun, new format to help you learn and grow to the pinnacle of your potential. Click here to find a course that works for you, right where you are!

What do vets hate most about working with client horses? And how about farriers? You guessed it, horses that don't stand still.

It's a sliding scale too. A horse that wiggles around a bit is tolerable. A horse that moves abruptly and dramatically is dangerous. And vets and farriers don't like working with these animals. It's also why they revert to drugs so quickly to make the animal docile. They don't have time to risk their lives doing the hard work, so they shoot up the tranquilizers and go about their normal duties. Or if it's a farrier, they might just cancel their service with you. But what if it could be different?

What would it take to really make sure your vet and farriers have a good time with your horse and as a result, treat you like a queen or king rather than a dirty sock? 

Short answer. Get your horse good at standing still. 

Long answer. Practice the box game. What's the box game? It goes like this...

On the ground, set up a standing spot indicated by lines, cones, markers of any kind. That box is roughly the size of your horse and clearly marked so when your horse leaves the spot, you know it's time for a correction.

In my book Leadership and Horses I talk a great deal about the 6 different types of desensitization strategies. The last one, repositioning, is one of the greatest tools you'll ever encounter with horses. 

Imagine a horse isn't good with his feet being held. What does he do? He might kick, but usually it's always some sort of drifting out of the box that gets people in trouble. The trainer often makes the mistake of trying to hold the foot while the horse is out of bounds, making it about the foot rather than about the box. This then translates to new things, the horse won't stand still, so the owners or trainers chase him around, trying to hold it all together until the horse gives up. It's not necessary to work that way. Watch this box training video with the mustang Freedom and learn what I'm talking about. 

Here is another great video with Justice the Mustang, stand still for picking up your feet.

If you practice box training you will get great results, and... your vet and farrier will love you because your horse stands still for everything. 

Thank you for ready, as always I love your comments.

Have a great day, Don

In the last article, I talked all about five signs you might be doing something wrong with your horse. Today I want to give you the signs you're doing it right.

Reader beware, you might just feel like a million dollars after reading this, in case you don't, I know how to make sure you do. Read to the end.

Number one sign you're doing it right!

Your horse is easy to catch, easy to tack up, and is becoming more confident all the time.

There's nothing like the feeling of having your horse meet you at the gate. And subsequently not shift around nervously when the tack comes out. It says something about you, about how you work around your horse. If that's your experience, we'll done. You're doing fantastic!

2. Your horse is respectful of everyone, not just you. 

The other day, some kids came to spend the weekend with us.  Imagine a 1200 pound animal standing next to a 50 pound child. Was I nervous about it? Not in the least. Naturally I was attentive to the needs of the child and the horse and I always encourage safe movements about the animals, but was I worried my horses would check out and cause harm? Nope! I put in the training so my horse isn't just good for me, but good for you too. If your horse is progressing to this point, you're on track for sure. If your horse can handle kids and grandparents, congratulations, you're doing something right!

3. Your tools in the tack shed are diminishing, not increasing.

In the article titled "5 signs you might doing it wrong," we talked briefly about the accumulation of tools. It seems the horse industry has taught us that the better you get, the more tools you need. In upper level dressage for instance you don't just use one bit, you use two! AT THE SAME TIME! This is ridiculous! I've done it, I studied the benefits, I've ridden at that level and I can tell you, unequivocally, it isn't necessary. One sign you're doing things right is that your horse needs less to hear you, to understand you, to respond. Because more tools means less understanding and less tools means more understanding. I'm not saying throw away your tools. It's okay to use tools, but the goal should be to diminish the use of tools to prove your horse understands. If you can say, "my horse doesn't just do the maneuver, he truly 'gets' the maneuver and I can prove it by using less hand, less leg, less support," then at that point you are proving to yourself that you truly understand horsemanship, not just horse riding. If this is you, Congratulations you've just joined an elite club of lateral thinkers and industry changers.

4. You're enjoying the idea of being with your horse even when you can't be there.

Do you day dream of being with your horse and practicing that next cool trick, conquering that challenge, or spending the afternoon in nature's beauty? If so, you're definitely doing it right. If you're avoiding that special time it means you've got what performance coach Tony Robbins calls "negative anchors" associated with the activity. It means that you have ended on a bad note too many times and the only way to change it is to end on a good note more often than not. This is tricky because not everything goes as planned with horses and when it doesn't you have to learn to change your perspective so you always feel like it's okay and you're doing great. 

Just the other day I took a young horse out for his first trail ride. The ride was a disaster, but the experience was magic. How is that possible? I'll tell you. I had hoped for the best and at the same time expected the worst could happen. And when the worst showed up, I got off and worked on the ground. It took a while for him to chill out but by the end of the day, both of us walked quietly back to the barn and we chilled together for a long time to let the sweat dry. It was a magical bonding and learning experience I can't wait to grow from. It can't always be perfect and I can't let perfect be the determining factor for positive anchoring. I look forward to the next ride because we ended on such a good note. That's how I know I'm doing it right and you can experience the same thing.

5. You're seeing your dreams become reality through measurable means. 

Day by day I see I'm closer to a goal or a dream. How do I know? Because I see the path. I made the path, I mapped the path, and I mapped progress points along the way. One of the main roles I take as a coach in my industry is helping others do the same. I want you to sit down and outline your dreams. What would you like to do, see, experience? Would you like to ride on the beach, bareback, cantering along through the ongoing tidal edge like the boy from "The Black Stallion?" Would you like to ride to the lake at the end of the canyon deep in the wilderness? Do you dream of riding piaffe and passage, not like everyone else with a frown on their face and tail swishy horse, but with smiles and energy fit for two happy athletes in harmony? How about lying your horse down or playing at liberty? Your dreams can become reality and the most effective way to make that possible is to map a progressive path starting right where you are. 

Most of us look back a year or two and compare where we are now to where we thought we'd be and find ourselves disappointed. Sometimes that is inevitable, things can take longer than we expected, but most of the time, that happens because we never actually took the time to define measurable progress points. You see, it's not enough just to dream of the end result. You also have to dream of the middle result. If you can do that, you're doing something right for sure! 

In case you struggle with any of the above, call me, here's my number our business number (406-360-1390). I'll give you a free strategy session worth $150. You deserve to see your dreams come true. I believe in you. Take advantage of this limited time opportunity and don't let anything hold you back. Life is too short for limiting beliefs.

Click this link to get started 

And please comment below. I love hearing from you!

This might be one of my favorite movie scenes. 

It's Chevy Chase getting off the horse in the middle and inadvertently landing on the horse to the right. The movie, "The Three Amigos" starring Martin Short, Chevy Chase, and Steve Martin, is a classic if you like silly, funny movies. 

And... naturally, when you see someone sitting backward on a horse it looks odd, which leads me to an adjacent question. What signs are horses giving us that tell us we might be doing something wrong?

Here we go...

5 Signs You Might Be Doing Something Wrong With Your Horse

Your horse is hard to catch the next day:

I dare say, more people are starting to catch onto the truth that a hard-to-catch horse means something. In the past it didn't mean anything. You just chased them around until they got tired, then got on and rode. We know better now. We know that horses have emotions and if we stress them out, they don't want to be with us. So... let's not stress them out so much, or at least, let's balance the challenges with the rewards, like more undemanding time together, more bonding etc. And let's not skip over the game of catching just to teach different skills. I think it's important to spend several sessions just on making catching easier. You can find how in this course: Ground Work Training

Your horse's emotional fitness is not improving:

If you struggle to put on the bridle on day one, that's normal, but day three or day ten, that's definitely a sign you're missing something important. The same goes for mounting, saddling, catching, spooking, and everything. Think of a task, or challenge. If your horse isn't improving within a day or two in the right direction, or at least, a week or two, you might be missing something. If they're still reacting to the same things every time, you might be missing something. It may be time to dig deeper, get some resources and helpful hints. (by the way, that's what we are here for... First call is free. Reach out!) 

Your horse's signals are not improving and you're buying new tools:

If I ask my horse to back up, it's natural that it wouldn't be so good on day one. But by day two, three, four, it should be improving. I just spent the weekend at a clinic in the South East, US. One student has ridden her horse for years and years and is still struggling to stop her horse. She can do it, but it hasn't improved. First of all, you need to know it's okay to settle into a way of interacting as long as you feel safe about it and your horse feels safe about it. But struggling isn't safe. Struggling is akin to "sunny day riders." (people who can only work with there horse when it's hot because any other day, the horse has too much energy.) There is something wrong with that picture and usually it simply comes down to practice. If you're buying new tools to solve the same problem, you're not helping. The tool doesn't change the experience, it's the hands that hold the tool. Dedicate one thing at a time to improve upon. Do it for a week, then enjoy the benefits for a lifetime. Don't send your horse to a trainer, don't buy a new bit. You have to be the one to learn how to get the results. Otherwise you'll get your horse back and teach him the same sloppy signals. Take the time to learn for yourself how to improve his or her skills. It's easier than you think and a whole lot of fun.

You find yourself avoiding doing the thing you thought you'd be doing:

In the beginning we have an endless drive to be with our horses. For some of us that fades. It could be completely natural. I've written about emotional fatigue and the nature of needing a break. It could be fear. It could be a number of things. But generically speaking, if you're avoiding spending time with your horse you might want to dig into the answers for that. Your horse needs you. Unless you've got lots of acreage and food, and friends for your horse set on auto-pilot, your horse needs you. Find out how you can change the way you interact with your horse so it's more enriching for you too. Sometimes we just have the wrong perspective, or the wrong reasons for interacting with our horses and that's what takes away the zeal. We dive deep into this discussion in our weekly live zoom calls. Join here!

You think it's all about your experience or all about your horses experience and fail to see it's about both:

For this one, you need to look inside yourself. Do you notice you always think about riding your horse as an activity that's all about you and your friends? Or do you think it's all about your horse and you're just the caretaker. There is a balance. The horse needs to perform in a safe manner while we are around. And we need to provide for them. We need to enrich each others lives. I've seen people collect horses to avoid the kill pens, only to destroy their own lives in trying to care for so many. I've also seen people get so caught up in the "need to win" feeling of competition that they completely disregard the horse's needs and become abusive. I've slowly come to the realization that nearly all positive, life affirming activities, live in the middle somewhere. If you sense you're not balanced or your horse's experience is not balanced, don't get discouraged. Be encouraged, awareness is the first step.

We have online courses to help keep you on track and moving forward naturally. Check them out now!

And... stay tuned. Next week we're going to talk about the 5 signs you're doing it right?

Thanks for reading and comment below!

Also, don't forget to check out the courses! Click here: 

Imagine you're going to ride or play with your horse today. Think of the things you want to do... Practice responses to your legs or hands or visual aids, try that new obstacle a few times, practice trailer loading, liberty training, getting that trot circle better, teach your horse to lie down, get him used to the tarp or saddle, teach him to stand better for mounting, transition work, and for most of us, that's just the beginning. 

Horse lovers dream up a million things to do with their horse. I think that makes our unique industry so beautiful and artistic. Of course the challenge is prioritizing your tasks and, more importantly, sticking to one at a time. 

Horses don't multi task well. I'm not so sure humans do either, yet for some reason we keep trying to get it all done at once. DON'T BE THAT WAY!  Your horse survives on minimal information repeated often. Not maximum information stacked on all at once. Let's take loading in the trailer as an example.

For many people the prospect of getting their horse in a trailer is all too easy. For some it's daunting. The horse can be extremely emotional. But the reason it's daunting is because trailer loading is all too many tasks chucked into one. As with anything, the big task can be broken down to smaller tasks, and achievable results can be within your reach every day. 

Loading a horse in the trailer requires three things. 1. Calm, responsive energy, lined up at the gate. 2. Calm, responsive energy with each step forward into the trailer. 3. Calm responsive energy inside the trailer. Each goal should be tackled without pressing for the other. One thing at a time. 

Number one is simply asking your horse to face the trailer, lined up, ready to go in but not going in. In this position the horse can learn to be curious about the trailer, stretching his nose out and investigating the edges. It won't work unless he is lined up, but it's so simple, so effective, and I'm always shocked how few people know it and avoid trailer loading. It's completely safe and normal to play with step one for days and even weeks before attempting step two. The problem is when you watch a support video you think you have to do the whole thing on day one.  You don't.  

I wish I could give you this advice. Watch every support video in sections, not as a whole. It's okay to get the overview by watching the whole thing but go back and watch for the step by step functions of the video. Pause the video, identify the step, then give yourself permission to take hours, days, and weeks to accomplish the first step. I mean... what's the hurry? Education with horses should be enriching in every step, not utilitarian. The last thing you want to do with your horse is tell him to "get over something," so you can go have some fun without the burden of his inadequacies. 

Instead, look at the inadequacies, label a few smaller steps to achieve the big goal and practice those steps with massive rewards and little distraction. Don't do what most people do. Don't fall into the trap of getting it mediocre then immediately jumping to step two. Don't get distracted by some other thing that also needs your attention. Don't buy into the, "my horse is bored," trap. Stick with one task, broken to a simple form, and repeat, reward, repeat, reward, repeat until your horse says, "I get it. It's easy, I trust you, I'm happy. I'm calm and responsive."

When you finally get to that stage, then at another step. Everything can be broken down, including flying lead changes, vertical flexion, lying down, rearing up, dragging logs, saddling for the first time, half passes, spins, water crossing, you name it.  Each goal can easily be made into fun, achievable goals.  That's what I call, "Putting the FUN back into fundamentals."

Here's my challenge to you... in the comments describe a goal you have and the first broken down step that you will commit to playing with until it's going well.  

I'll start. I want my new rehab horse to carry a kid safely. He can be a bit explosive under saddle in new areas, so it's gonna take some work. My first step I'm going to work on, for as long as it takes, is to get him to perform a basic walk, trot, canter on the ground in a brand new space. Once we get that I'll choose another new space and get the same results. Before long I should see the progress I need to see to build on from that. 

What's your one thing you're going to play with? Please comment below.

I've been deep thinking about the idea of emotional fatigue for some time now and gratefully, a student of mine brought it all to the surface again. When I hear from the people I care about, I can't help but take a moment and reflect. This time, on paper.

We all have something we are passionate about. Even my oldest brother, who often seems less energized by life than my other siblings, demonstrates great enthusiasm for certain types of learning. For those of you reading this post, you're probably like me, passionate about something you've been hooked on for years. For me, it's horses. But sometimes, something unique happens and the passion turns into a grind. The signs are obvious to anyone looking. You've lost some desire. You're crabby and short with your tongue, or something similar. You're avoiding doing the thing you said you always want to do. When you see the signs, what happens then, what should you do?

Answer. I don't know, I'm not you. But I'll tell you what I've done and what works for most people.

When you're tired, know it's normal, even for the professionals. The picture below is me, completely burned out of training, riding, and teaching after a few weeks of traveling. Here I am, embracing absolutely nothing related to progress, resting on my horses shoulder. It's the only thing I did for a long time. Ironically, both my horse and I are better off for it. 

Here are the keys to dealing with fatigue.

• First accept it!
• Second, address it!
• Third, build slowly!
• Fourth, celebrate successes differently this time!

Let's talk about acceptance first:

Lots of people think they should be invincible, and when they realize they aren't... they become hyper determined to never show it. Sounds like a recipe for fatigue. So first things first, accept that it's okay to rest and even show people that you value rest. For years I couldn't show my wife when I needed a break. I would never nap in the middle of the day. Then I got a little older and I realized I'm human and it's okay to be human and even a little bit important to be human. We, as a society value productivity so highly that we forget about sharpening the saw. Read sharpen the saw. Basically, we forget to value rest and see how it actually improves our productivity.

And I'm not just talking about a daily nap, I'm talking about weeks off, or even months off an activity. When I was young, I played basket ball. Five solid months of practice, live games, open gyms and coasting into summer. Then a long, seven month rest. Guess what, the next year, after playing very little basketball for seven months. I was much, much better. The time off made me better. Perhaps the extra seven months of practice would have made me substantially better again, but some people aren't meant to push that hard and if they try, they burn out. If you're reading this, you may know a thing or two about burn out. It's okay, breath it in. You can rest. Accept it!

Next, let's talk about how to address fatigue:

Well, obviously, as stated above, when you're tired, rest! But beyond that, when you're tired, fuel up. You need to address the elephant in the room and that elephant usually comes in the form of food that your body doesn't assimilate well. Good fuel equals better energy. Simple right? So look in your fridge, your cupboards, your pantry and ask yourself, should I? Look at your TV or smartphone as ask, should I? Is there something better I could choose, a better program, better food, something more nutritious? Trust me, I love junk food, I do. I eat it too. But I do follow patterns and when I eat too much I feel it. I used to tell myself it was just how I felt, like I always felt that way. Then I took a ten day junk food cleanse and started to feel amazing. Then, I ate some more junk food and felt like, well... junk. I never knew how much the food affected my body. Now I'm more conscious and do more to check my energy when it starts to slow down. I notice the signs of toxicity in my body and take some small steps to mitigate it. I notice signs of mental fatigue from participating in things I can't control like most things on TV. I don't have recommendations media sources, or food types or body types to invest your visual, auditory, and gustatory energy in, I only know myself, and I think knowing yourself is useful.

When you're tired, get inspired!

Sometimes you need a muse. You need a little inspiration. You need to be reminded of why you do what you do. When you started out in your magnificent passion there was an endless amount of inspiration. Everywhere you looked you saw people doing amazing things. Now you see people doing those things and they don't hold the same emotional intensity for you. That's normal life. Things that happen often, fade in significance. But smart people, and I believe you're smart, learn to see intricacies in details that others don't. You see the finer points and get inspired by that instead. And then, if you do that often enough, you even get sick of seeing the finer points and it's time to step back and see the forest for the trees again. I find that watching a horse play with other horses inspires me like never before. Even if everything doesn't look clean and perfect, it's still beautiful. It's authentic, and once again, I find myself inspired. What inspires you? It's different for everyone. 

Let's talk about building slowly:

As you get back on your feet, it's important to go at it slowly. You're a little groggy, so to speak, don't go sprinting, the blood flow to your brain isn't right yet, you'll faint. You just got up from recovery, don't do twice as much as you should. Muscles build slowly and so does inspired action. Rest and rebuild but when you rebuild, build it slowly. When I fell from a horse and injured myself I thought I wouldn't ride again, then I took one small step toward my dreams and another and another, a year later I was riding again. It's amazing what can happen in a year. The problem is, the whole time I thought I should be back to normal on day two. I thought it was taking too long. With coaching and support I kept my cool and took it slow. I hope it's good food for thought for you too.

Lastly, let's talk about celebrating your wins differently:

A win, for me, used to be grand things. Now I can notice and celebrate smaller things. That's important, but more important than the win itself is the way in which you celebrate a win. If you remember when you were a kid, you celebrated wins with incredible enthusiasm. The first basket I made as a budding basketball player warranted galloping around the court like I'd just won a gold medal at the Olympics. Later in life, I found myself, not only not celebrating wins, but beating myself up for losing. Imagine a toddler beating herself up for falling down while learning to walk. The poor thing would never walk. Wins need to be celebrated with youthful enthusiasm. If you want to get back on your feet, do it with the style of your younger self. Don't say "finally. I did it, why did it take so long?" Instead say, "OH YEAH BABY!" and jump up and reach for the stars and gallop around like you're five years old. Or at least some version of that which your body can handle.

Don't downplay your early successes. Make life grander than life. I'd say it's not only a better way to live, it's perhaps a necessary way if you want to really feel like you're doing things right. When I teach my clinics and courses I'm always sure to celebrate each small thing with my students with supreme enthusiasm. We deserve that kind of energy. We live for it. We can give it to ourselves as well. Even when it feels silly, it's worth it! 

In summary, it's okay to be tired, it's okay to rest, it's within reason to believe your resting doesn't mean quitting, and it's feasible to believe you will gain more by resting than by pushing through and damaging the natural glee you get from your passion. So if you feel fatigued, do what feels best for you and know you'll always have a friend like me around to encourage the best parts of you to shine.  

As always, thanks for reading.

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If your horse does one of these six things while attempting to canter... don't worry you're not alone and their all easy to fix. Last week we talked about the first three. Here's the link to that article. This week we'll tackle the last three.

1. Tossing head

2. Bucking

3. Wrong lead

4. Canters too fast

5. Leaning or cutting corners

6. Never stops trotting

Let's tackle one at a time.

Canters too fast: Lots of horses canter too fast. In the beginning they only know one speed. And lots of people just resign to always cantering the speed the horse wants. But you don't have to. If you practice, you can teach a horse to canter slower than a walk and even canter in place, and believe it or not, canter backwards. Sure, it takes time and patience and lots of practice but it's sooooooo much fun to canter a horse that feels like a rocking horse, going the speed you want rather that the speed he wants.

There are dozens of strategies so don't get caught up on just one but here is one of my favorites. After weeks of ground preparation, teaching my horse to canter for longer and keep a nice even steady pace, I'll begin cantering under saddle. While riding I'll set up my arena or round pen with two cones along the fence lines about one hundred feet apart. Once I get into the canter I wait for my first cone and when I get there I start counting the canter strides. When I get to my second cone I stop counting and tally the total. If it took fifteen canter strides to canter that hundred feet then I know my horses speed. (15 strides/100 feet).

Once I know my horse's speed I get to play a fun game to slow the canter down. My goal is to get 16/100. Then 17/100, and so on, until I have a slow, fun canter. I like to speed it up in the same way. The point is... I make a game of going a different speed, which makes it fun for me and fun for my horse and doesn't leave us frustrated with a one dimensional relationship.

Leaning and cutting corners: Sometimes horses lean in because they are going to fast. You know there are solutions for that now. But sometimes they lean in because they don't want to go at all. Horses that lean in or cut the corners while cantering will almost always stop in the middle of the arena given the opportunity. Meaning, if you stop asking for things and just ride it out, you'll see the horse traveling smaller and smaller circles to the middle and simply stopping. So... ironically, a horse that leans or cuts corners not only has a steering problem but they also have an impulsion problem. They don't like cantering. The question then becomes, "What do you do to help the horse enjoy cantering straight?"

There are many tools you can employ, too many to write in one article but I can give you one of my favorites. In the arena or riding area, set up two markers again. While riding, or even on the ground, when you reach the first marker begin to speed up, when you reach the second marker, stop completely. Once stopped, give massive rewards to your horse. The game is "point to point." It's designed to encourage your horse to see value in going straight ahead to a destination. Lots of horses hate cantering because there is no destination.

Make it fun for the horse by repeating the game until you feel he or she offers her own energy and enthusiasm to reach the second marker. Then stretch the markers out. It won't take long before you're safely cantering toward the marker on a nice, straight line. Once you've nailed that game down, you can place markers anywhere and start traveling on arcs and circle but always toward a destination of your choice. Your horse will love this game and love you for introducing it!

Speedy trot that never leads to canter: In the beginning with horses, they can sometimes struggle to enter the canter. You can find yourself asking for the canter and all you get is a faster trot. With some horses it doesn't seem to matter how fast you go, they simply won't break into a canter. Many people find this frustrating and that's why it's on the list to talk about today.

The first thing you need to know about the canter is that it's not a speed, it's a gait. There is a massive and important difference there. Most people think it's a speed thing because it's faster than a walk or trot. But, as we know from last week, we can easily train a horse to canter slower than a walk. Therefore, canter shouldn't be considered a change in speed. It should be considered a change in footwork and balance. Knowing this will help the horse that speeds along in the trot.

Remember, there are many techniques, so don't get confused when I share my favorites. "There are many roads that lead to Rome." One of my favorite strategies for horses that just speed up is to ask them to rebalance by slowing down. I like to think of a horse like a slinky spring. Remember those cool toys that you can send slinking down the steps? Speeding up in the trot stretches that spring out. If it gets too stretched out it won't be able to gather its feet to canter. Cantering requires compressing that spring. It's kind of tricky. You do need the energy output the fast trot gives you but not the balance. So the best thing to do is to trot fast for a couple steps then slow down, then fast again, then slow down, then again until the horse begins to realize you don't want the fast trot, you want the energy output. Sooner than you think the horse will give you a canter stride, nice, and slow, and balanced. Before long, you'll get it every time you ask.

Of course it will take some practice and feel and patience. It may even take some creativity like placing a small jump on the ground to encourage compression and elevation instead stretching out. But I believe you can do it. I've worked with thousands of horses now and I've always found a way to help the horse enjoy the cantering games, barring no physical limitations. 

I hope all this helps you understand the canter better. Cantering is the link between the novice rider and the elite rider. Elite riders tackle canter on a daily basis, whether it's in the saddle or on the ground. The only reason novice riders don't is because there is some limitation. Usually that limitation is one of the six described above. My hopes is that if you take this all on, you'll become a better trainer, owner, rider and enjoy the canter as much as I do.

Thanks for reading, comment below. I always love to hear from you.

And.. In case you didn't know you can buy this course or this course to help.

If your horse does one of these six things while attempting to canter... don't worry you're not alone and they're all easy to fix. 

1. Tossing head

2. Bucking

3. Wrong lead

4. Canters too fast

5. Leaning or cutting corners

6. Never stops trotting

Let's tackle one at a time.

Tossing head: Nearly all horses toss their head related to surges of energy in their body. It's most common just before or after the first few steps of canter but lots of horses do this in the walk and trot too and even while standing still.  The solution is simple and here it is: In my Free Mastery Principles course (link) you will learn a principle named "You get what you allow."  This means if you end each session on a less than perfect note you'll never get perfection. But if you end the session on a good note (in this case, where your horse doesn't toss his head) you'll start developing a positive pattern in the horses mind. 

Just the other day a young girl got on her horse bareback, the horse would move around okay but when asked to slow down or back up he'd toss his head. With coaching, she just kept asking for backup, kindly and patiently, until the horse quit tossing. In that moment she let go of the reins and reached to pet the horse. With this perfect timing the horse gave it up in no time. It works with every speed and every transition. Ask again and again and again until the head tossing stops, then quit. Don't get angry or upset, just ask again. And in case it get's dangerous, shut it all down. Don't allow it. Reset your boundaries and begin again in a safer environment.

Bucking: There are only four solutions for bucking related to cantering. Solution 1: Allow it and ride it out to the point the horse gives it up. 2: Stop the bucking immediately and go back to the trot then ask again, always stopping the behavior before it escalates. 3: Give up because your horse hates canter and you're not balanced enough to handle it. 4: Go slower, and teach everything from the ground. As you might guess, I use all but the third solution. But I prefer not to ride it out. So I rarely use solution number one. That leaves solution number two and four and I almost always prefer to combine them. 

On the ground, I'll ask the horse to canter. If he/she bucks, I'll ask him to return immediately to the trot, then ask again. I'll repeat the cycle until the buck isn't presented then reward heavily. After a few days, the horse can canter without bucking and truly enjoys it because he/she is highly rewarded for the right behavior. After a few weeks I can canter that horse while riding without any trouble at all.

Wrong lead: Horses, like people have a dominant side. Some horses are right handed or left handed in their habitual movements leaving lead control a little harder to get. Sometimes horses experience pain related to cantering on a certain lead. You need to find out from a vet to rule out lameness issues. And sometimes it's just a mental block that prevents the horse from performing both leads. Either way, patience, persistence, and positioning is the key to success with leads.

When a horse canters to the left, the right hind foot strikes the ground first, then the diagonal pair (left hind/right front), then the left front foot, then a moment of suspension (all four feet off the ground), and it all starts over again. More than that... the hips, shoulders and head all line up in a way that supports that footwork. The hips move slightly left, and the shoulders lift slightly right. The head, in an ideal world, remains fairly neutral, if not slightly tilted left. Without all those mechanics, getting the correct lead is always a gamble. Even if you're traveling around the arena to the left, you're not guaranteed a left lead because the body parts might be out of alignment. 

So... if you want to get your leads, practice the body mechanics in slower speeds. Practice positioning your horses shoulders and hips without transitioning. After a few days, that gets so easy that leads seem simple for you and the horse. There are other factors like sensitivity to your "go" signals and such, but learning about the body mechanics will give you a leg up, so to speak, when you start to one day learn about flying leads and tempi flying leads. 

Stay tuned for next week and I'll dive into the other issues:

Cantering too fast

Cutting corners

Speedy trot that never transitions into cantering 

Once you tackle all these issues you'll have a perfect cantering horse. How cool would that be? 

Thanks for reading, look forward to your comments.

That's a big, bold thing to say. Of course there are stubborn horses in the world by the typical meaning of the word "stubborn." It's just that I don't adhere to that meaning because I don't think it's helpful.

          adjective

Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. There's a lot of shaming in the world. Have you noticed that? Body shaming, personality shaming, and even, believe it or not, shame for people who own horses but don't ride them. 

"I know, right?"

Let me be another voice for those out there who feel shamed about not riding. It's okay. In fact, most horses prefer it! Here's what a horse needs: Food, water, shelter, hoof and health care, social interactions, and positive experiences. Can you offer those things without riding? Absolutely! 

Who cares if someone thinks you should ride and you don't feel up to it! Don't let your horse down by not interacting just because you can't or don't want to ride. Get out there and just "be" with your horse. Enjoy nature for heaven's sake. 

So accept your feelings a bit, accept your position, accept your experience, and don't hate on yourself for not living up to someone else's idea of what you're supposed to be or do. 

Just one little caveat on the word "accept." I feel like people often think that if you accept the way things are now, you are resigning to that new norm and you'll never again be able to do things you used to be able to do. But the truth is, accepting something means giving yourself some grace, not giving up on your dreams! If you want to ride, believe it will happen again for you, but don't pressure yourself. Just breathe, think positively about yourself and your current experiences and slowly move in the direction you want to go. It's the same for your horse. If she's struggling to get something, relax a little. It will come.

I've helped many people recover (including myself) from setbacks. In the beginning it feels like you'll never have what you had. But you have to shake loose of those feelings and just accept what is. "It is what it is, right?" Gotta thank my friend Patty for that phrase! Then... look at where you want to go and take one small step toward it. Don't focus on what you've lost or you'll go crazy. Focus on your footwork. Take a step, breathe, reward yourself, then take another step. It won't be long before your acceptance turns to progress and pride of accomplishment. 

In short, don't give up on what you want, but also give yourself enormous doses of grace, every single day! Grace is that acceptance of things you didn't plan for. Give yourself that gift. Trust me, it will pay off in big ways.

Thanks for reading and please comment below and share with your friends.

Don Jessop

The Five Types of Happy

 Written by Don Jessop

Not a horse blog, well... maybe it is.

Happiness can be elusive and fleeting. It doesn't seem to last for anyone, but it does seem to return eventually, for everyone, given enough patience and time. 

What I've found over my years of study and reflection, even though I'm no therapist (although I did study to become to a hypnotherapist), is that happiness takes different forms and that is perhaps the biggest reason it's so elusive. 

Here are a few of those forms:

1. A peaceful sense of relief - A feeling of a release from pressures. The kind you get as you take that deep breath before you drift to sleep or as you realize you don't have any payments left on your car. It could be a sense of acceptance, that all is going to be good in the world, and you're okay, and a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, at least for now. Simply put... a deep sigh of relief.

2. Excited for the future - A feeling of positive anticipation. The kind you get when you daydream of the planned trip to the island getaway or when you see the new horse you've been dreaming of just become available to buy and you can afford it. Basically... any relative feeling of anticipation for something good to come.

3. Proud of accomplishment - A feeling you get when you finish a big task or nostalgically remember achieving things you, and perhaps others, didn't think you could do. Like building a house, or starting a business, or getting married and having kids. Simply put... you feel you did good job.

4. Grateful for gifts you're not sure you deserve - A feeling of believing you're blessed. The kind you get when you realize you didn't create you, your mother did, but she didn't create herself and you can see where that goes. The kind of feeling you get when you narrowly dodge an illness or accident or when you see you've got enough, and maybe even more than your neighbor. (HINT. You do have more than most of your neighbors.) It's more than relief, it's feeling special, that everything is a gift and for some reason you get to receive the gift. It's perspective on how things could have turned out, and instead, you're the lucky one.

5. Organic chemical joy kind of happiness - a feeling you get for no reason at all. You might just have gas bubbles making you smile. Or for some reason, all the pain in your body is gone, or the air smells better, or the problems don't matter anymore. Adrenalin junkies look for that kind of happiness and find it in those short, edge of your life experiences. In this case, circumstances are causing your chemistry to lift, like contagious laughter at a comic club. Five minutes later you might feel differently, but in the moment it's a taste of heaven. Simply put... It's an organic sensation triggered by some type of nearly uncontrollable stimuli.

The question is... when someone asks, "How can I be more happy?" Which type of happiness is it that you feel like you need right now? What are you seeking? If you knew, you might find it easier. Like looking for a shoe in the closet, knowing which shoe helps.

These five types of happiness often mix too. It's no wonder something like having a baby is so amazing. You feel relief, gratitude, chemistry, pride, and nine months of building excitement. It's a euphoric experience.

But before you start stacking the happiness types to feel happier, it's best to prioritize them for conscious change.

Imagine not feeling happy. Can you imagine that? I can! Then imagine thinking you need some happiness, so you go out looking for excitement. The external stimulus kind. Let's say you find it, then you return home and you're still not happy. Why not? Because that was the wrong shoe, the wrong kind of happiness. That means it's time to dive deeper into yourself. Find out what's missing? Is your chemistry off? Could you change it with breathing, meditation, or professional (not amateur) support? Are you stuck in a fearful place? Did you know that fear and gratitude can't exist in the same mental space? Are you feeling bored or unimportant and perhaps taking on a big challenge would fill that gap, at least once you're done and proud of it? Or are you feeling stressed, overwhelmed, burdened by internal and external pressure? In that case you need relief? You need a win, a breakthrough, perhaps some education and a supporting hand. What you don't need is to go skydiving or giving into vices. Not to say those things aren't valuable for there own reasons, just that there could be better, more sustainable things for you based on your immediate needs.

I'm no therapist so I can't actually say what you need. I only like to play with words and lean into my own experiences, analyzing my needs and sharing my thoughts. Perhaps you enjoy that kind of processing too. 

Now let's re-evaluate stacking the five forms of happiness. What activities make the biggest dent? We mentioned having babies but that's not for everyone and it can't happen very often. How about doing something challenging for the first time? Like jumping horseback or learning a new language, these types of things stack pride and relief and some forms of anticipation and gratitude all in one place. There are so many possibilities to be happy, it's a wonder we aren't happier more often. 

Also, on the subject of happiness, there are other concepts like affirmations, posture, breathing, supporting friends, habit training, practiced focus shifting, multiple types of therapy and more. I don't want to limit your thinking about how to experience true happiness and keep it around longer. I'm just excited to share my own musings.

I'd love to hear how you explore the psychology of happiness. Tell me how you've noticed and shifted things to make room for happiness. Tell me some activities or supporting behaviors I haven't mentioned that combine the above five elements into a more lasting type of happiness. Have some fun. Have some hope. Have some good vibes for the future. I know life can be hard. I know it first hand. But for a moment or two, help me shift the focus. Comment below. I love reading your thoughts. 

And.. if you're a horse person wondering why I didn't talk more about horses, I'll leave you with this... What do you bring to your horse when you meet him or her? Do you bring your pain and sadness in hopes of healing, that's okay! Horses can be good for that kind of thing. And... Could you also bring your joy? Imagine a horse filled up from time to time with your joy! How cool would that be?

Thanks for reading, comment below!

A little more than a year ago I wrote about the three most important things that make a great horse trainer. Here's the article...

In the article I described the 3 "P's". Patience, Persistence, and Positioning.

In short, great horse trainers have extraordinary patience, and extraordinary persistence. They also possess deep knowledge about positioning. On a simple level if the horse isn't positioned to enter the horse trailer, there is no sense asking him to go in. First prepare to a position, then ask. On an advanced scale, things like halfpasses and flying lead changes are only done with expert positioning skills. Great trainers possess these qualities, and you can too. You just have to focus on the details. 

Recently I realized I made a huge mistake; I wrote about 3 "p's" and a very influential colleague of mine pointed out something important. There is a 4th "P." And... ironically, it's perhaps the most important of all. The 4th "P" stands for "Permission."

Great horse trainers, I mean really great horse trainers, I'm not talking about most people you see in the public eye, I'm talking about the elite that teach the elite, and sometimes, it's no-one famous at all, it's some backyard enthusiast that gets the whole picture. They all know there is no sense making a horse perform against her will. They know how to ask and read the response and recognize when the horse is acting in good will or against good will. Any horse can learn to say yes to a question. All trainers know that much. But do they actually want to do what you ask? Have you asked for permission to ask? It can get a little spiritual or weird here so hang on to your bootstraps. 

If your horse likes you but doesn't trust you, you've got a problem. If you're horse respects you but doesn't like you, you have another problem. If your horse likes you, trusts you, looks for you, respects you, you've got permission to ask him for new things. 

A short story to illustrate:

Many years ago, I began training a mule that didn't like people, didn't like his job, and didn't behave in a safe manner. I sought permission to train him, and day after day he denied me. Well... I'm a skilled trainer so I demanded it anyway and after playing hard to catch, we proceeded to skill development. Over the course of a few weeks his skills improved but his obvious disdain for people remained. He was still very unsafe to ride. I finally realized I'd been going about it all wrong. I'd began developing skills before I had permission, and, in his eyes, I failed. So, reluctantly, I went back to the beginning and learned a valuable lesson. Today, he's safer, happier, and willing, most of the time. But if you ask him to do what you want without setting it all up perfectly, he'll let you know you don't have permission. 

Permission is granted, not taken. If you love horses, you'll embrace that idea. You have to patient sometimes just to get permission. But we can afford the patience. It's not like we live in a world where we have to go chase a cow and drag him to the branding pit. And in case you do live in that world, try to remember, you also have time, you have time to bond with your horse. They are more than just a tool. You have time to enrich his life and teach him trust. 

And I have a challenge for you! Would you be willing to test your horse's permission giving? Test by asking him to do something like loading in a trailer and/or pick up a canter. Notice if he is hard to catch, hard to yield. Is he resistant? Can you change it? 

A lot of people think you get permission by acting and smelling like a carrot. Sometimes you do. And sometimes you have to ask, you have to communicate, you have to check in. I'll never forget the first time I learned this lesson. More than twenty years ago now, I went to a clinic in Colorado. At the clinic I tied my horse to a hitching post and joined the others around the lunch table. After lunch I went to get my horse. When I returned to the arena with my horse, the instructor called me out, made a point to make a point about what I did. He said, "I noticed the way you went up and just grabbed the lead rope without checking in with your horse. You didn't even say Hello or ask him if he's ready to step off. You just untied him and walked away. He's a nice horse so he complied but you never got permission."

OMG

Lightbulb moment!

Take the challenge yourself now, think of all the things you ask your horse to do. Think of one specifically that you're pretty sure you forget to check in with him or her. Then change it. 

I hope you find this and the other articles helpful. I love to write, and I love when you write your comments below.

See you soon,

Don

Is your half-pass half-ass? In other words, does it feel sloppy or sluggish or tense when you ask your horse to shape his body and yield laterally to your leg, body, and hand cues?

I want to tell you how to fix it up nice. But first we have to dive into what "it" is. And what it's not. 

The half-pass is a simple enough concept for humans to understand but it's not as easy for the horse at first. Three things have to happen all at once for it to look professional. It's okay to break them down individually and work on each piece independently for a long time, but eventually, they have to come together. 

1st thing: Your horse has to yield laterally without reaction or resistance to your leg pressure when you apply it. 

2nd thing: Your horse has to maintain forward momentum and not stall out.

3rd thing: Your horse has to yield to your hand and body cues, softening and slightly shaping his/her body in the direction of travel. The direction being, half-forward, and half-side-passing. 

Think of side-passing as moving directly sideways toward an object without any forward momentum. We use side-passing for opening and closing gates while mounted and sidling up to our friend to steal a snack from his saddle bag, etc. Half-passing, on the other hand, can be thought of as half sideways and half forward. At least conceptually! It can be thought of as facing north and drifting toward northeast without ever turning toward northeast. For this to happen, the horse has to listen to your holding and asking cues. Some of your cues signal the horse to move in that shape and direction, while others hold or prevent the horse from slipping out of shape and pointing the wrong direction.

How professionals make those half-passes look so good is by independently practicing those three parts. Not always in order, but always in an attempt to be able to, one day, put them together. 1. Sensitize your horse to your leg pressure without causing them to fear you or your pressure. 2. Sensitize your horse to your hand pressure, guiding them kindly toward a slight bend in their head, neck, and body. 3.Teach them to carry forward without stalling or quitting until they've reached a desired destination or desired quality response. 

The reason that half pass can look and feel "half ass" is because the rider always tries to put those elements together too soon, before they are actually working well independently. There are things that need practicing before they are ready to put together in harmony. I'm not saying don't try it early, just learn where the responses break down and then go back and fix them independently instead of forcing ugly half-passes for the next six months. 

The real question about training the half-pass comes down to helping the horse understand the goal. This one is about horse psychology. My favorite game for this is to place a target of some kind along an arena fence. An orange traffic cone is a good target. I travel toward the target, stop at the target and reward the horse for making it to the target. Then I approach the target from the center of the arena rather than head on, along the rail. Each time I reward the horse for reaching the target. Eventually, keeping in mind I have a sensitive horse, willing to respond to hand and leg cues, I ask the horse to approach the target with a different body part, instead of head on. In other words, I may ask him to lead with his shoulder or hips, landing at the target shoulder first or hips first, instead of his head. This causes the horse to slip sideways toward the target, but as always, he is rewarded for reaching the target and, here's the key... mentally, he starts enjoying the game.

There is so much more to talk about related to half-passes so I'm just going to keep it simple today. Take a look at the picture below, it speaks volumes to the shape, direction, and style of half-passing. In the picture, the horse is facing North and traveling to the North-East corner, crossing all four legs beautifully, and keeping a slight bend through the body in the direction of travel. You can do it too, you just have to make sure your horse is independently responsive to your legs, hands, and mentally engaged in a game he can win. Eventually, you can do these half-passes anywhere. First, start with the cone, and second... understanding that horses naturally lead with their head and shoulders, try to slow his shoulders down and try leading with the hips for a while and notice how it sensitizes the horse more than anything else for what the end result is. 

If you'd like to see an early training video for developing half-passes naturally, using the game I described above, comment below. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Let's go have some fun!

PS. Half-passes have real value in performing arts and practical application. You don't ever have to do them, but if you choose to learn and master through movement you're entire horsemanship experience will change for the better. Partly because they are not easy and hard things often bring great rewards, and partly because a strong, willing, flexible horse demonstrates a partnership like nothing else on the planet. 

Actually, the title to this article is misleading. It's not just one thing horses hate, it's about a dozen things. 

Horses hate it when you...

1. Don't let them rest

Usually, I don't have to coach my students to slow down or give their horse a rest. Occasionally, however, I see folks working their horse either physically, or mentally, for long periods of time, without resting or taking some time to simply bond with the horse. In my book, "Leadership and Horses" I talk about the 50/50 training/bonding ratio. If you do a lot of bonding without training, you make little progress, but if you do a lot of training, without bonding, you become a slave driver. Find the balance and give back to your horse for all he/she offers. If you rest often, you won't risk joint injury. If you rest often, you'll see the horse's physiology change and promote better overall health. If you rest often, especially after something challenging, you'll see them connect to you, more like a friend they can trust and enjoy being around.

2. Act frustrated toward them

A frustrated person looks identical to a predator in the horse's eyes. Curb your frustrations by expecting less. It's okay to hope for good results but to expect them is folly. Good leaders expect the worst could happen and plan for it. At the same time, they  plan for the best. It's the riders that don't expect anything bad would happen that show the most frustration and ultimately take out the frustration on a confused horse. If you've ever said, "My horse knows this," you're at great risk of having your expectation being too high. Horses don't know things like humans do. They can remember things but often find themselves flooded with distractions of all sorts, both externally and internally. Don't assume so much. Play with what you've got rather that act frustrated.

3. Give up too quickly

Horses often question your leadership and start out most conversations confused about what you want. Many novice riders or trainers quit before the horse has a chance to figure it out, leaving the horse in a constant state of confusion and frustration around people. Stay a little longer. Learn about the 20 minute rule.

4. Put them in a small space for long periods of a time

Horses need space. In fact, there are four things' horses need to, not just survive, but thrive. Space, Social interactions, Stimulating experiences, and a Sense of purpose. Space is critical. A general rule of thumb is one full acre per horse. Not everyone can do that but consider this at least... To feel free, a human must be able to explore a full range of motion. It's the same for the horse. If he/she doesn't have the room to gallop full speed, even if only for a few seconds, he/she is limited in their range of motion and therefore, less free. Living 24/7 in small spaces is like living in a prison cell for a beautiful beast that's meant to roam free. That's the harsh truth. I know boarding barns that rely on small spaces to make money. In those cases, I encourage plenty of play time in large spaces, either in turn out, or in human interactions where the horse is allowed to truly explore their full range of motion.

5. Leave their halters on 24/7

Sometimes, in the beginning its easier to leave the halter on so you can train the horse to be easier to catch. But this beginning stage doesn't have be that way and in case it does, it only needs to last until your horse is open and trusting. If that hasn't happened in a few weeks time there may be something wrong with the relationship and it's time to dive deeper. 

6. Take away all social interactions

Horses are family oriented animals. It's no surprise they hate being left alone. There are circumstances that require alone time, but they should be limited. If you really want to give your horse a natural experience. Give him some friends, even if all you can do is have horses on the other side of the fence. Make sure he has companionship.

7. Forget to feed and water them

Horses in today's world usually get a good deal of food and water but some are left without for long periods of time. Talk to a vet about how much food and water your horses need and make sure they get it every day.

8. Use heavy handed aids or signals

Many riders rely on big, obvious, heavy signals. I catch many riders holding onto the reins like their life depends on it while they attempt simple maneuvers in the ring. Horses are sensitive enough to feel a fly land on their skin. There is no need to use heavy signals except in safety situations.

9. Take them away from their mates

That doesn't mean you shouldn't take them away from their mates. Just recognize it's hard and don't be so hard on them when it doesn't go perfect for a while. Have some perspective for them.

10. Use tools that hurt

Sharp bits and spurs can be harmful to the horse. Be careful with the tools you choose. The truth is, any tool can be harmful, it's more about the hands that use the tool that matters most.

11. Ask them to do scary things

Again, there are things that must be done. Like loading into a trailer or crossing a stream. But have some perspective. Be slow, kind, thoughtful. Be a leader, not a dictator. 

12. Don't give basic health care

Feet trimming, regular grooming, vet and teeth work, shelter, safe fences, etc. Can horses survive without constant care? Usually! Is it nice? No! Do they act as if they want all those things? Not always, but a child needs care even when they don't think they need it and that's what good care takers do. You're not just a friend. You're a steward, a leader, and parent, a coach, and you're a friend. 

Now, for the other side of the coin... Things that horses love!

They love a partner who cares about their experience even if they have to do hard things from time to time. It's that perspective that's important.

They love space, social interaction, stimulating experiences, and a sense of purpose. They love playing games and learning. Scientists have studied the effect of stress hormones in horses that play with people and horses that sit in the field doing nothing. The horses that sit around, have higher levels of stress. Hmmm.. interesting, right?

They love food rewards. If you can figure out how to train your horse to be polite around feeding time and food rewards, you'll earn a whole other level of trust and try from your horse. 

They love comfort. There is a false narrative out there that horses should be left alone to mother nature. The hard truth is nature isn't always better. Take a hard look at wild horses, their feet, their teeth, their injuries, their stress levels, their lack of resources, their predators, etc. Horses, primarily, need and want safety and comfort. We can provide it for them. 

They love you! If you are really a horse lover, invested in your learning and a leader in the making, then they will love you too. 

Take a deep dive into leadership training with horses in our "Horse Mastery University." Click the link, and for new students, get a free consultation worth $150.00 I look forward to meeting you!  

Comment below

Stop believing you're doing it wrong, or you'll never get it, or you don't have what it takes, or your horse won't ever get it because it's taking too long.

The twenty minute rule was taught to me many years ago by a human psychologist. He said that in most situations there are factors that make us believe we should give up, that things will always be this way, primarily emotional factors. We might, for instance feel depressed and believe that we are always going to feel depressed and therefore we should give up or feel anxious about it. But then he said. The irony is that, unless adrenalin is involved, most emotions rarely last more than twenty minutes before recycling. Which means, even anxious people take a deep breath and feel something else beside anxiety every twenty minutes or so. 

You could cycle back into the emotion but... our reality gives us a window to make new choices more often than not. If a person could remember the twenty minute rule they would be able to persist through all kinds of challenges knowing, as the Bible says, "This too shall pass!"

When it comes to horse training, the twenty minute rule is critical. Just yesterday I was teaching a class with a few challenging horses and new students. When one particularly difficult thing came up for one of the students, I noticed her attempting the task only once or twice then giving up. I stepped in and asked how she was doing. She said she tried but it wasn't working and she didn't want to do it wrong so she stopped asking. 

I told her something I tell all my students. "Don't give up so quickly. And... there is no such thing as wrong unless the technique you're using is abusive and extremely dangerous to you or your horse."

Stop believing you're doing it wrong, or you'll never get it, or you don't have what it takes, or your horse won't ever get it because it's taking too long.

Naturally, this kind of comment is confusing at first. We all have a deep seated fear of being wrong or doing things wrong so when I say there is no wrong I feel the questions pop up. What I mean is the horse can learn to respond to just about any technique. Some techniques are more logical than others but any technique works if you persist. This means you can make a horse go forward by pulling on the reins or backward by squeezing with your heels. Those aren't logical directional cues but if you persist, your horse will figure out your unique way of asking and respond. Therefore, you can stop buying the line that there are right and wrong techniques. Most of us who have been training for a long time know this, and further more, when we've been stuck in the past we've even invented some of our own techniques when no-one was around to show us a better one. 

The point is... stop thinking you're doing it wrong and persist a little longer even if you suppose there might be a better technique. When you second guess yourself you often quit at the wrong time and inadvertently reward the wrong behavior. My old teachers would say, do your feeling during the day and thinking at night. Which means allow yourself to go with it and learn from it, then later review and rehearse some new thoughts about it. 

On the subject of the twenty minute rule this simply means most horses start to figure out what you want after about twenty minutes of attempting to understand you. If you give up in the first five minutes you're not really ever gonna get anywhere. Sure, some things are easy and they make you feel like everything should be easy, but the truth is, some things are hard for horses to understand and it's worth persisting to the point where they do understand. That's real communication after all. 

Also regarding the twenty minute rule, if your horse is being emotional, please remember it doesn't last.  Just be patient,  work thought it, don't give up, he'll settle down soon. Unless adrenalin is involved, most of the time you just have to wait for a calm window to open up and it usually takes... you guessed it. Twenty minutes. So next time you feel like the hard thing you're trying to tackle will never end, remember, you can do this. Anybody can last twenty minutes at a task as long as it's not physically taxing to the point of oxygen depletion. Take a breath. Know you can get through the tough times. I believe in you!

In case you do want more logical techniques for getting to the next level, I'm here for that too. Together we can map out exactly what's best for you and your horse today. Connect for free for first timers and save $150 dollars on a private lesson. Click this link

Comment below as well and tell me how this will change how you interact in tough times.