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September 20, 2022 4 Comments
When I look around and listen for the cues, I see there's a lot of shaming in the world. Have you noticed that? Body shaming, personality shaming, and even, believe it or not, shame for people who own horses but don't ride them.
"I know, right?"
Let me be another voice for those out there who feel shamed about not riding. It's okay. In fact, most horses prefer it! Here's what a horse needs: Food, Water, Shelter, Hoof and health care, social interactions, and positive experiences. Can you offer those things... without riding? Absolutely!
Who cares if someone thinks you should ride and you don't feel up to it! Don't let the voices around you dictate your experience. And... don't avoid your horse by not interacting just because you can't ride. Get out there and just "be" with your horse. Enjoy nature. It's good for the soul.
So, accept your feelings a bit, accept your position, accept your experience, and don't hate on yourself for not living up to someone else's idea of what you're supposed to be or do.
Just one little caveat on the word "accept." I feel like people often think that if you accept the way things are now, you are resigning to that new norm and you'll never again be able to do things you used to be able to do. But the truth is, accepting something, means giving yourself some grace, not giving up on your dreams! If you want to ride, believe it will happen again for you, but don't pressure yourself. Just breathe, think positively about yourself and your current experiences and slowly move in the direction you want to go.
I've helped many people recover (including myself) from setbacks. In the beginning it feels like you'll never have what you once had. But you have to shake loose of those feelings and just accept what is. "It is what it is, right?" Gotta thank my friend Patty for that phrase! Then... look at where you want to go and take one small step toward it. Don't focus on what you've lost, or you'll go crazy. Focus on your footwork. Take a step, breathe, reward yourself, then take another step. It won't be long before your acceptance turns to progress and pride of accomplishment.
In short, don't give up on what you want, but also give yourself enormous doses of grace, every single day! Grace is that acceptance of things you didn't plan for. Give yourself that gift. Trust me, it will pay off in big ways.
Thanks for reading and please comment below and share with your friends.
Don Jessop
September 21, 2022
If I was never able to ride my WonderMare Miss Brandy, I still love to play with her at Liberty and appreciate what she offers me.
September 21, 2022
Yes it takes a different perspective to realize acceptance and resignation don’t have to be interchangeable!
September 21, 2022
You are an amazing and gracious person. Thank you for finding what needs to be said and saying it. At 74
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Heidi Krantz
September 23, 2022
Thank you for putting this out there. There are many reasons why riding might not be part of your life with horses – temporarily or permanently. I’ve been through long periods without riding and they have provided some of my sweetest times with horses, and openend my mind and heart in ways that impacted my relationship with horses and my riding in amazing ways. Now, I don’t think of riding or not riding…it’s what do we want to do today?