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March 08, 2022 9 Comments
A little more than a year ago I wrote about the three most important things that make a great horse trainer. Here's the article...
In the article I described the 3 "P's". Patience, Persistence, and Positioning.
In short, great horse trainers have extraordinary patience, and extraordinary persistence. They also possess deep knowledge about positioning. On a simple level if the horse isn't positioned to enter the horse trailer, there is no sense asking him to go in. First prepare to a position, then ask. On an advanced scale, things like halfpasses and flying lead changes are only done with expert positioning skills. Great trainers possess these qualities, and you can too. You just have to focus on the details.
Recently I realized I made a huge mistake; I wrote about 3 "p's" and a very influential colleague of mine pointed out something important. There is a 4th "P." And... ironically, it's perhaps the most important of all. The 4th "P" stands for "Permission."
Great horse trainers, I mean really great horse trainers, I'm not talking about most people you see in the public eye, I'm talking about the elite that teach the elite, and sometimes, it's no-one famous at all, it's some backyard enthusiast that gets the whole picture. They all know there is no sense making a horse perform against her will. They know how to ask and read the response and recognize when the horse is acting in good will or against good will. Any horse can learn to say yes to a question. All trainers know that much. But do they actually want to do what you ask? Have you asked for permission to ask? It can get a little spiritual or weird here so hang on to your bootstraps.
If your horse likes you but doesn't trust you, you've got a problem. If you're horse respects you but doesn't like you, you have another problem. If your horse likes you, trusts you, looks for you, respects you, you've got permission to ask him for new things.
A short story to illustrate:
Many years ago, I began training a mule that didn't like people, didn't like his job, and didn't behave in a safe manner. I sought permission to train him, and day after day he denied me. Well... I'm a skilled trainer so I demanded it anyway and after playing hard to catch, we proceeded to skill development. Over the course of a few weeks his skills improved but his obvious disdain for people remained. He was still very unsafe to ride. I finally realized I'd been going about it all wrong. I'd began developing skills before I had permission, and, in his eyes, I failed. So, reluctantly, I went back to the beginning and learned a valuable lesson. Today, he's safer, happier, and willing, most of the time. But if you ask him to do what you want without setting it all up perfectly, he'll let you know you don't have permission.
Permission is granted, not taken. If you love horses, you'll embrace that idea. You have to patient sometimes just to get permission. But we can afford the patience. It's not like we live in a world where we have to go chase a cow and drag him to the branding pit. And in case you do live in that world, try to remember, you also have time, you have time to bond with your horse. They are more than just a tool. You have time to enrich his life and teach him trust.
And I have a challenge for you! Would you be willing to test your horse's permission giving? Test by asking him to do something like loading in a trailer and/or pick up a canter. Notice if he is hard to catch, hard to yield. Is he resistant? Can you change it?
A lot of people think you get permission by acting and smelling like a carrot. Sometimes you do. And sometimes you have to ask, you have to communicate, you have to check in. I'll never forget the first time I learned this lesson. More than twenty years ago now, I went to a clinic in Colorado. At the clinic I tied my horse to a hitching post and joined the others around the lunch table. After lunch I went to get my horse. When I returned to the arena with my horse, the instructor called me out, made a point to make a point about what I did. He said, "I noticed the way you went up and just grabbed the lead rope without checking in with your horse. You didn't even say Hello or ask him if he's ready to step off. You just untied him and walked away. He's a nice horse so he complied but you never got permission."
OMG
Lightbulb moment!
Take the challenge yourself now, think of all the things you ask your horse to do. Think of one specifically that you're pretty sure you forget to check in with him or her. Then change it.
I hope you find this and the other articles helpful. I love to write, and I love when you write your comments below.
See you soon,
Don
March 10, 2022
Another excellent, well-written and insightful article. Don, you have a true gift for explaining and illustrating these concepts that can sometimes be very difficult to understand. Thank you!
March 10, 2022
Your article helped me realize that permission is part of every relationship. Thanks so much for your valuable insight.March 09, 2022
Reading this made me smile. Whenever I’m putting my young horse’s halter on him to lead him out to the trailer I talk to him and tell him we are going somewhere and that he is going to see his friends. It sounds crazy but it has become part of our routine so he knows he’s going to get loaded and taken off property. I guess because his demeanor remains calm and willing he is giving me permission to take him…
March 09, 2022
Great article and makes sense. It may take a little time to get the permission your horse is asking for. I also would like to learn more about this topic. Bring it up in our clinic.
March 09, 2022
What is the difference between “getting permission” and being the leader? Does a leader ask for permission when going into battle? I definitely need some clarification on what is meant by “getting permission”. In your example of untying your horse, what should have you done before you untied your horse? Stand still and pet his neck? Give a treat? I am a bit confused as to how a human asks permission to a horse.
March 09, 2022
I would love to learn more about getting permission too.
March 08, 2022
Great concept and approach to truly becoming a master. I like the idea of getting permission-it goes along with the partnership your trying to form. The other word I got from your clinic that has helped me and helped me with explaining concepts to my students is “access” . In particular when you had us see if we had access to our horses head, shoulders and hips. I feel like this goes along with you getting the permission slip signed (🤪) before asking your horse to do jobs that will be sooo much easier if we have been granted access to them.
Thanks Don! Can’t get enough-want to do the gold program-I’m working on it!
March 08, 2022
Permission – great concept. I would like to learn more about this topic.
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Chris
March 16, 2022
Great article, Don! Spot on!